{"id":58,"date":"2009-05-25T09:50:27","date_gmt":"2009-05-25T09:50:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/2009\/05\/money-coaching-monday-couples-in-financial-crisis.html"},"modified":"2009-05-25T09:50:27","modified_gmt":"2009-05-25T09:50:27","slug":"money-coaching-monday-couples-in-financial-crisis","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/2009\/05\/money-coaching-monday-couples-in-financial-crisis.html","title":{"rendered":"Money Coaching Monday: Couples in Financial Crisis"},"content":{"rendered":"

This week I am responding to our reader Chris Leiss, who is asking for support around his
\nmarriage which has been greatly impacted by financial stress.<\/p>\n

This is his request:
\n“I have been married for 24 years and am still madly in love. But
\ncircumstances have put tremendous stress on our relationship. I have
\nbeen in and out of work and the financial stress has escalated in to
\nothers areas beyond my belief. Please pray for my marriage to stay
\nintact, to grow and to get stronger quickly. I need help, divine help
\nmay be all that can save this situation”. ~ Chris in Texas<\/p>\n

Dear Chris,
\nFirst of all, thank you for reaching out for help and support. It’s
\ndefinitely a sign of strength and commitment. Relative to your marriage, in most cases I have found that
\nmoney issues in relationships are often a symptom<\/b><\/i> of another
\nproblem that is not being managed or perhaps, even fully recognized.<\/p>\n

For example, if your wife has been feeling scared and worn down by life
\nand financial circumstances and doesn’t feel you are doing enough or
\nthe right actions to get a job, then the real issue to contend with may
\nbe disappointment and\/or trust<\/i>.<\/b> By no means, am I saying this is the
\nissue with you, but this is a common dynamic that I see in relationships. <\/p>\n

So while your financial stress and job issues are part of the problem,
\nI would advise you to dig a little deeper and find out what else your
\nwife may be feeling and begin to address those issues quickly. Also,
\nwhile you are looking for a job, is it possible that you could also
\nfind some part-time work doing something else that you are good at? What
\nother skills and abilities do you have that might be an overlooked
\nself-employment opportunity? <\/p>\n

Make a list of everything you know how to
\ndo and see if you can offer some of these skills for pay. In fact, one
\nof my clients who recently had difficulty finding a job, discovered he really
\nenjoyed working in his garden and was quite good at landscaping. He started
\nhis own gardening and landscape maintenance business just by putting up
\nflyers and an ad on Craigslist. He’s still looking for a job in his
\nfield, but for now, he’s making some money doing something he
\nenjoys. I call this “in the meantime work” and people often overlook
\nthis as an option. Sometimes it even turns into a new career path!<\/p>\n

I also recommend that you find a way to get some couples counseling or
\nmoney coaching. Many therapists and coaches will work on a sliding
\nscale and they could help you to navigate this crisis more easily.
\nYour marriage needs help…do whatever it takes to get it.<\/p>\n

You might also read my blog on “Tips for Couples in Financial Crisis<\/a>” and see if it offers any additional ideas to support you during this
\ntime.
 
Join the Prayer Circle<\/a> that is supporting Chris and pray for Chris and his wife to recover from this difficult time.<\/p>\n

Here’s a prayer for Chris and his wife.<\/p>\n

Dear God,
\nPlease help me and my beloved to move past
\nour personal and financial challenges.
\nShow us the way to forgiveness,
\nhelp us to release the past
\nand awaken to the gift of today which brings
\nnew hope and opportunity to begin again.
\nHelp us to recover from our financial struggles,
\nto become free from debt and learn
\nfrom our past experiences.
\nPlease strengthen our faith in you and our relationship,
\nheal our wounds and return us to the heart of our love.
\nWe surrender this you and know that it is done.
\nAnd so it is.
\nAmen.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This week I am responding to our reader Chris Leiss, who is asking for support around his marriage which has been greatly impacted by financial stress. This is his request: “I have been married for 24 years and am still madly in love. But circumstances have put tremendous stress on our relationship. 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