{"id":197,"date":"2009-12-22T23:33:15","date_gmt":"2009-12-22T23:33:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/2009\/12\/how-to-communicate-about-money.html"},"modified":"2009-12-22T23:33:15","modified_gmt":"2009-12-22T23:33:15","slug":"how-to-communicate-about-money","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/2009\/12\/how-to-communicate-about-money.html","title":{"rendered":"How to Avoid Relationship &#8220;Money Traps&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Money issues can cause a lot of stress and conflict<br \/>\nin relationships during the holidays, especially if your finances are tight. The good news is, these conflicts can also be a wonderful opportunity to<br \/>\ngrow together and deepen the intimacy in your relationship. Without<br \/>\nquestion, I have found that couples<br \/>\nwho learn to talk calmly about financial issues have a greater level of intimacy and often, have the healthiest relationships. <\/p>\n<p>When we feel safe with someone financially, we can<br \/>\nrelax and allow ourselves to be truly open and vulnerable. Unfortunately,<br \/>\nmany couples <i>do not<\/i> have this kind of intimacy and often fall into what<br \/>\nI call &#8220;money traps.&#8221;&nbsp; Some of the most common &#8220;money traps&#8221; that I<br \/>\nhave seen are:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Using money as a form of control or manipulation<\/li>\n<li>\nFailure to understand each other&#8217;s money fears and triggers<\/li>\n<li>\nMisunderstanding each other&#8217;s financial wants &amp; needs<\/li>\n<li>\nUnclear agreements about financial priorities<\/li>\n<li>\nAssuming unconscious roles (i.e. Dependent\/Caretaker)<\/li>\n<li>\nProcrastinating or withholding pertinent financial information<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Here are some ways to avoid these issues:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Get to know each other&#8217;s <a href=\"http:\/\/www.moneycoachinginstitute.com\/index.php?option=com_content&amp;view=article&amp;id=49&amp;Itemid=73\">&#8220;money types&#8221;<\/a> early in your relationship.<\/li>\n<li>\nTalk openly about your issues, fears and concerns about money.<\/li>\n<li>\nMake clear agreements about how to handle money together as a couple.<\/li>\n<li>\nDon&#8217;t buy or withhold your love with money.<\/li>\n<li>\nTake responsibility for your own financial well-being.<\/li>\n<li>\nDeal with money issues as they arise so they don&#8217;t become a source of resentment.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp; <br \/>\nI also recommend these simple practical tips for dealing with money<br \/>\nthat will allow you to work together as a team to co-create the<br \/>\nfinancial life you desire:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\nCreate a Monthly Household Budget.<\/li>\n<li>\nMake joint decisions about what to do with the &#8220;leftovers&#8221; (spend it, save it, invest it).<\/li>\n<li>\nEstablish a monthly &#8220;allowance&#8221; to spend or save as you each desire.<\/li>\n<li>\nShare the financial responsibilities and divide up the tasks or take turns.<\/li>\n<li>\nHave a monthly &#8220;Money Meeting&#8221; to discuss and clear up any unfinished or new money business.<\/li>\n<li>\nCreate a list of goals and dreams to work on together and have fun with it. <\/li>\n<li>\nAcknowledge each other in positive ways for keeping agreements.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>\nYou can create the financial life you both want and deserve by<br \/>\nunderstanding and supporting each other to be financially aware and<br \/>\nempowered.&nbsp;&nbsp; <\/p>\n<p>Peace and Blessings!<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Money issues can cause a lot of stress and conflict in relationships during the holidays, especially if your finances are tight. The good news is, these conflicts can also be a wonderful opportunity to grow together and deepen the intimacy in your relationship. Without question, I have found that couples who learn to talk calmly&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":351,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,17,7,8,12,14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-197","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-beliefnet-prayer-circles","category-financial-crisis","category-financial-forgiveness","category-financial-healing-prayers","category-money-coaching","category-relationships-family"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Avoid Relationship &quot;Money Traps&quot; - Your Daily Spiritual Stimulus<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/2009\/12\/how-to-communicate-about-money.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Avoid Relationship &quot;Money Traps&quot; - Your Daily Spiritual Stimulus\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Money issues can cause a lot of stress and conflict in relationships during the holidays, especially if your finances are tight. The good news is, these conflicts can also be a wonderful opportunity to grow together and deepen the intimacy in your relationship. Without question, I have found that couples who learn to talk calmly&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/2009\/12\/how-to-communicate-about-money.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Your Daily Spiritual Stimulus\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2009-12-22T23:33:15+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"dprice\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"How to Avoid Relationship \"Money Traps\" - Your Daily Spiritual Stimulus","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/2009\/12\/how-to-communicate-about-money.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"How to Avoid Relationship \"Money Traps\" - Your Daily Spiritual Stimulus","og_description":"Money issues can cause a lot of stress and conflict in relationships during the holidays, especially if your finances are tight. The good news is, these conflicts can also be a wonderful opportunity to grow together and deepen the intimacy in your relationship. Without question, I have found that couples who learn to talk calmly&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/2009\/12\/how-to-communicate-about-money.html","og_site_name":"Your Daily Spiritual Stimulus","article_published_time":"2009-12-22T23:33:15+00:00","author":"dprice","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/2009\/12\/how-to-communicate-about-money.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/2009\/12\/how-to-communicate-about-money.html","name":"How to Avoid Relationship \"Money Traps\" - Your Daily Spiritual Stimulus","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/#website"},"datePublished":"2009-12-22T23:33:15+00:00","dateModified":"2009-12-22T23:33:15+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/#\/schema\/person\/8f7da217d69bf7014202f31267331f62"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/2009\/12\/how-to-communicate-about-money.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/2009\/12\/how-to-communicate-about-money.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/2009\/12\/how-to-communicate-about-money.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"How to Avoid Relationship &#8220;Money Traps&#8221;"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/","name":"Your Daily Spiritual Stimulus","description":"Deborah Price on Surviving the Economic Crisis","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/#\/schema\/person\/8f7da217d69bf7014202f31267331f62","name":"dprice","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/f88\/f88b423beee5c3f948c71fdcf2deea5ax96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/yourdailyspiritualstimulus\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/f88\/f88b423beee5c3f948c71fdcf2deea5ax96.jpg","caption":"dprice"},"description":"Money Coach Deborah Price is devoted to offering hope and support during these difficult times. 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