{"id":74,"date":"2008-09-24T12:20:10","date_gmt":"2008-09-24T12:20:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/windowsanddoors\/2008\/09\/rosh-hashanah-repentance-and-t.html"},"modified":"2008-09-24T12:20:10","modified_gmt":"2008-09-24T12:20:10","slug":"rosh-hashanah-repentance-and-t","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/windowsanddoors\/2008\/09\/rosh-hashanah-repentance-and-t.html","title":{"rendered":"Forgiveness:  10 Steps To Giving It and Getting It"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, begins on Monday night.  Like all New Year&#8217;s celebrations, it&#8217;s a chance to start over.  And starting over often involves forgiveness &#8212; both giving it and getting it.  Neither of those is easy, but both are within our grasp.<br \/>\nForgiving someone means that we find the strength to go beyond ourselves to a place that helps us see those who have hurt us in a new way.  That&#8217;s never easy.  Seeking forgiveness rquires us to confront the past, see what we have done wrong, and commit to changing our behavior.  That&#8217;s huge.  But like the ability to forgive others, it is within our grasp.  So with Rosh Hashanah approaching fast, here are some tips that will help you to forgive those who have hurt you and seek forgiveness from those you have hurt.<br \/>\n<strong>1.\tThere is no such thing as an unforgivable act.<\/strong> So don&#8217;t let your fear of what you did, or rage about what was done to you, dissuade you from either seeking or granting forgiveness.<br \/>\n<strong>2.\tMind your own business.<\/strong>  We can only grant forgiveness for that which was done to us and should only seek forgiveness for that which we have done.<br \/>\n<strong>3.\tStay balanced.<\/strong>  The number of apologies you seek should be proportional to the number you are willing to offer, because the doing of each nurtures the capacity for the other.<br \/>\n<strong>4.\tKnow that you are never alone.<\/strong>  From God&#8217;s perspective, sincere effort to correct the past renders earns any of us what my kids call a do over.<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><br \/>\n<strong>5.\tHonor the past, but don&#8217;t let yourself be imprisoned by it.<\/strong>  Don&#8217;t allow your fear of forgetting what was done to you keep you from forgiving those who did it.<br \/>\n<strong>6.\tAllow love to triumph over logic.<\/strong>  There will always be a good reason to keep doing what you are doing or to withhold your forgiveness from someone else.  But real issue is whether or not you love them enough to go beyond that logic.<br \/>\n<strong>7.\tKeep it simple.<\/strong>  Apologize for, or forgive, one thing at a time.  There is always more to the story, but this is not the moment to explore it.<br \/>\n<strong>8.\tThe answer doesn&#8217;t always have to be yes.<\/strong>  We are not always ready to forgive and that is okay.  But the answer shouldn&#8217;t always be no, either.  Consider what you loose by saying no, and be concerned if that has become your default response.<br \/>\n<strong>9.\tRemember that forgiveness is not always the end of the process<\/strong>, but the beginning of a new level of relationship which may continue to be shaped by those past acts which demanded forgiveness.<br \/>\n<strong>10.\tCelebrate the moment of forgiveness<\/strong> in some way that rewards both the one seeking forgiveness and the one who grants it.  A hug, a kiss, perhaps something even more intimate.  A drink or a shared meal.  Whatever it is, you have both accomplished a major thing, so make the most of it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, begins on Monday night. Like all New Year&#8217;s celebrations, it&#8217;s a chance to start over. And starting over often involves forgiveness &#8212; both giving it and getting it. Neither of those is easy, but both are within our grasp. Forgiving someone means that we find the strength to go&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":133,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,3,6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-74","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-judaism","category-pop-culture","category-spirituality"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Forgiveness: 10 Steps To Giving It and Getting It - Windows and Doors<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/windowsanddoors\/2008\/09\/rosh-hashanah-repentance-and-t.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Forgiveness: 10 Steps To Giving It and Getting It - Windows and Doors\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, begins on Monday night. Like all New Year&#8217;s celebrations, it&#8217;s a chance to start over. And starting over often involves forgiveness &#8212; both giving it and getting it. Neither of those is easy, but both are within our grasp. Forgiving someone means that we find the strength to go&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/windowsanddoors\/2008\/09\/rosh-hashanah-repentance-and-t.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Windows and Doors\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2008-09-24T12:20:10+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Brad Hirschfield\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Forgiveness: 10 Steps To Giving It and Getting It - Windows and Doors","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/windowsanddoors\/2008\/09\/rosh-hashanah-repentance-and-t.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Forgiveness: 10 Steps To Giving It and Getting It - Windows and Doors","og_description":"Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, begins on Monday night. Like all New Year&#8217;s celebrations, it&#8217;s a chance to start over. And starting over often involves forgiveness &#8212; both giving it and getting it. Neither of those is easy, but both are within our grasp. Forgiving someone means that we find the strength to go&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/windowsanddoors\/2008\/09\/rosh-hashanah-repentance-and-t.html","og_site_name":"Windows and Doors","article_published_time":"2008-09-24T12:20:10+00:00","author":"Brad Hirschfield","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/windowsanddoors\/2008\/09\/rosh-hashanah-repentance-and-t.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/windowsanddoors\/2008\/09\/rosh-hashanah-repentance-and-t.html","name":"Forgiveness: 10 Steps To Giving It and Getting It - Windows and Doors","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/windowsanddoors\/#website"},"datePublished":"2008-09-24T12:20:10+00:00","dateModified":"2008-09-24T12:20:10+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/windowsanddoors\/#\/schema\/person\/dec8532a46bb6f29d8866269e398424d"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/windowsanddoors\/2008\/09\/rosh-hashanah-repentance-and-t.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/windowsanddoors\/2008\/09\/rosh-hashanah-repentance-and-t.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/windowsanddoors\/2008\/09\/rosh-hashanah-repentance-and-t.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/windowsanddoors"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Forgiveness: 10 Steps To Giving It and Getting It"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/windowsanddoors\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/windowsanddoors\/","name":"Windows and Doors","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Rabbi Brad Hirschfield","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/windowsanddoors\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/windowsanddoors\/#\/schema\/person\/dec8532a46bb6f29d8866269e398424d","name":"Brad Hirschfield","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/windowsanddoors\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/windowsanddoors\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/612\/612c840fab7383fcd474af006f999c1fx96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/windowsanddoors\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/612\/612c840fab7383fcd474af006f999c1fx96.jpg","caption":"Brad Hirschfield"},"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/windowsanddoors\/author\/brad_hirschfield"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/windowsanddoors\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/74","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/windowsanddoors\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/windowsanddoors\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/windowsanddoors\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/133"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/windowsanddoors\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=74"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/windowsanddoors\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/74\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/windowsanddoors\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=74"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/windowsanddoors\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=74"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/windowsanddoors\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=74"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}