{"id":9797,"date":"2011-11-16T20:45:36","date_gmt":"2011-11-17T01:45:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/watchwomanonthewall\/?p=9797"},"modified":"2011-11-16T20:46:19","modified_gmt":"2011-11-17T01:46:19","slug":"why-god-made-moms","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/2011\/11\/why-god-made-moms.html","title":{"rendered":"WHY GOD MADE MOMS"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Answers given by\u00a02nd grade school children\u00a0to the following questions:<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

\"\"Why did God make\u00a0 mothers?<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

1.\u00a0 She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.<\/strong>
\n 2.\u00a0 Mostly to clean the house.<\/strong>
\n 3.\u00a0 To help us out of there when we were getting born.<\/strong>
\n <\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

How did God make mothers?<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

1.\u00a0 He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.<\/strong>
\n 2.\u00a0 Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.<\/strong>
\n 3.\u00a0 God made my mom just the same like he made me.\u00a0 He just used bigger parts.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\"\"What ingredients are mothers made of?<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n


\n<\/span><\/strong>
\n 1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
\n2. They had to get their start from men’s bones.\u00a0 Then they mostly use string, I think.<\/span><\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n


\n<\/span><\/strong>
\n Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

1.\u00a0 We’re related.
\n2.\u00a0 God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s mom like me.
\n<\/span><\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\"\"What kind of a little girl was your mom?<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

1.\u00a0 My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
\n2.\u00a0 I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
\n3. They say she used to be nice.
\n<\/span><\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

What mom needed to know about dad before she married him?<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

1.\u00a0 His last name.
\n2.\u00a0 She had to know his background.\u00a0 Like is he a crook?\u00a0 Does he get drunk on beer?
\n3.\u00a0 Does he make at least $800 a year?\u00a0 Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
\n<\/span><\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\"\"Why did your mom marry your dad?<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n


\n<\/span><\/strong>
\n 1.\u00a0 My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world.\u00a0 And my mom eats a lot.
\n2.\u00a0 She got too old to do anything else with him.
\n3.\u00a0 My grandma says that mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.<\/span><\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n


\n<\/span><\/strong>
\n Who’s the boss at your house?<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n


\n<\/span>
\n1.\u00a0 Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such a goof ball.
\n2.\u00a0 Mom.\u00a0 You can tell by room inspection.\u00a0 She sees the stuff under the bed.
\n3.\u00a0 I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.<\/span><\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n


\n<\/span><\/strong>
\n \"\"What’s the difference between moms and\u00a0dads?<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/strong>
\n <\/strong><\/p>\n

1.\u00a0 Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
\n2.\u00a0 Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power ’cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.
\n3.\u00a0 Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
\n<\/span><\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

What does your mom do in her spare time?<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

1.\u00a0 Mothers don’t do spare time
\n2.\u00a0 To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.<\/span><\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\"\"What would it take to make your mom perfect?<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

1.\u00a0 On the inside she’s already perfect.\u00a0 Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
\n2.\u00a0 Diet.\u00a0 You know, her hair.\u00a0 I’d diet, maybe blue.
\n<\/span><\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

1.\u00a0 She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean.\u00a0 I’d get rid of that.
\n2.\u00a0 I’d make my mom smarter.\u00a0 Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.
\n3.\u00a0 I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n


\n<\/span><\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/h1>\n

WHEN YOU STOP LAUGHING– SEND THIS TO OTHER MOTHERS, GRANDMOTHERS, AND AUNTS….and anyone else who just needs a good laugh!<\/span>\u00a0!!<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Answers given by\u00a02nd grade school children\u00a0to the following questions: Why did God make\u00a0 mothers? 1.\u00a0 She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is. 2.\u00a0 Mostly to clean the house. 3.\u00a0 To help us out of there when we were getting born. How did God make mothers? 1.\u00a0 He used dirt, just like…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":403,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[453,2617,181,299,283,2792,1384,627,1589,596,454],"tags":[63,3567,139,3568,3566,3565],"class_list":["post-9797","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-children-2","category-fun-and-games","category-humor","category-inspirational","category-lovable-and-fuzzy","category-parenthood","category-traditional-marraige","category-true-love","category-warm-and-fuzzy-stories","category-women","category-young-people","tag-children","tag-family","tag-god","tag-loving-humor","tag-moms","tag-touching-humor"],"yoast_head":"\nWHY GOD MADE MOMS - Watchwoman on the Wall<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/2011\/11\/why-god-made-moms.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"WHY GOD MADE MOMS - Watchwoman on the Wall\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Answers given by\u00a02nd grade school children\u00a0to the following questions: Why did God make\u00a0 mothers? 1.\u00a0 She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is. 2.\u00a0 Mostly to clean the house. 3.\u00a0 To help us out of there when we were getting born. 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