{"id":9175,"date":"2011-11-02T20:22:06","date_gmt":"2011-11-03T00:22:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/watchwomanonthewall\/?p=9175"},"modified":"2011-11-02T20:22:06","modified_gmt":"2011-11-03T00:22:06","slug":"hum%e2%98%bar-actual-call-center-conversations","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/2011\/11\/hum%e2%98%bar-actual-call-center-conversations.html","title":{"rendered":"HUM\u263aR – Actual call center conversations!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"Customer: ‘I’ve been calling 700-1000 for two days and can’t get through;\u00a0Can you help?’
\nOperator: ‘Where did you get that number, sir?’
\nCustomer: ‘It’s on the door of the business.’
\nOperator: ‘Sir, those are the hours that they are open.’<\/p>\n

———————————————————————-<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Samsung Electronics:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Caller: ‘Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?’
\nOperator: ‘I’m sorry, sir, I don’t understand who you are talking about.’
\nCaller: ‘On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I
\nneed to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and
\ntelephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the
\nnumber for Jack?’
\nOperator: ‘I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.’<\/p>\n

———————————————————————-
\nRAC Motoring Services:<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"Caller: ‘Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am
\nTraveling in Australia ?’
\nOperator: ‘Does the policy name give you a clue?’<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

———————————————————————-<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Caller inquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe :<\/strong><\/p>\n

‘If I register my car in France , and then take it to England ,
\ndo I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?’<\/p>\n

———————————————————————-
\nDirectory Inquiries:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Caller: ‘I’d like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please’
\nOperator: ‘I’m sorry, there’s no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?’
\nCaller: ‘Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the ‘B’ fell off..’<\/p>\n

—————— —————————————————-
\nThen there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Operator: ‘Woven? Are you sure?’
\nCaller: ‘Yes… That’s what it says on the label — Woven in Scotland ….’<\/p>\n

———————————————————————-
\n\"\"On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a
\nWorried operator: ‘I haven’t got a pen, so I’m steaming up the window to write the number on.’<\/p>\n

———————————————————————-<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tech Support: ‘I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.’
\nCustomer: ‘OK.’
\nTech Support: ‘Did you get a pop-up menu?’
\nCustomer: ‘No.’
\nTech Support: ‘OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a\u00a0pop-up menu?’
\nCustomer: ‘No.’
\nTech Support: ‘OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have\u00a0done up until this point?’<\/p>\n

\"\"Customer: ‘Sure. You told me to write ‘click’ and
\nI wrote ‘click.’<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

———————————————————————-
\nTech Support: ‘OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can
\nYou see the ‘OK’ button displayed?’
\nCustomer: ‘Wow! How can you see my screen from there?’<\/p>\n

———————————————————————-
\n\"\"<\/p>\n

Caller: ‘I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it.
\nSo, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?’
\n<\/em><\/p>\n

(My personal favorite…it should work, right?)<\/em><\/p>\n

———————————————————————-<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been<\/em>
\n promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was<\/em>
\n transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department….<\/em>
\n Needless to say, the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he\/she is currently<\/em>
\n suing the WordPerfect organization for ‘Termination without Cause.’<\/em><\/p>\n

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.<\/strong>
\n(Now I know why they record these conversations!):<\/em><\/p>\n

Operator: ‘Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?’
\nCaller: ‘Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.’
\nOperator: ‘What sort of trouble??’
\nCaller: ‘Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.’
\nOperator: ‘Went away?’
\nCaller: ‘They disappeared.’
\nOperator: ‘Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?’
\nCaller: ‘Nothing.’
\nOperator: ‘Nothing??’
\nCaller: ‘It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.’
\nOperator: ‘Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?’
\nCaller: ‘How do I tell?’
\nOperator: ‘Can you see the ‘C: prompt’ on the screen?’
\nCaller: ‘What’s a sea-prompt?’
\nOperator: ‘Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?’
\nCaller: ‘There isn’t any cursor; I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.’
\nOperator: ‘Does your monitor have a power indicator??’
\nCaller: ‘What’s a monitor?’
\nOperator: ‘It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
\nDoes it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?’
\nCaller: ‘I don’t know.’
\nOperator: ‘Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where
\nthe power cord goes into it. Can you see that?’
\nCaller: ‘Yes, I think so.’
\nOpera tor: ‘Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s
\nplugged into the wall…’
\nCaller: ‘Yes, it is.’
\nOperator: ‘When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that
\nthere were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?’
\nCaller: ‘No.’
\nOperator: ‘Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and
\nfind the other cable.’
\nCaller: ‘Okay, here it is.’
\nOperator: ‘Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into
\nthe back of your computer.’
\nCaller: ‘I can’t reach.’
\nOperator: ‘OK. Well, can you see if it is?’
\nCaller: ‘No.’
\nOperator: ‘Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?’
\nCaller: ‘Well, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle — it’s because it’s dark.’
\nOperator: ‘Dark?’
\nCaller: ‘Yes – the office light is off, and the only light I have is
\ncoming in from the window.’
\nOperator: ‘Well, turn on the office light then.’
\nCaller: ‘I can’t.’
\nOperator: ‘No? Why not?’
\nCaller: ‘Because there’s a power failure.’
\nOperator: ‘A power …. A power failure? Aha. Okay, we’ve got it
\nlicked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and
\npacking stuff that your computer came in?’
\nCaller: ‘Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.’
\nOperator: ‘Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it
\nup just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to
\nthe store you bought it from.’
\nCaller: ‘Really? Is it that bad?’
\nOperator: ‘Yes, I’m afraid it is.’
\nCaller: ‘Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?’
\nOperator: ‘Tell them you’re too damned stupid to own a computer!’<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Customer: ‘I’ve been calling 700-1000 for two days and can’t get through;\u00a0Can you help?’ Operator: ‘Where did you get that number, sir?’ Customer: ‘It’s on the door of the business.’ Operator: ‘Sir, those are the hours that they are open.’ ———————————————————————-   Samsung Electronics: Caller: ‘Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?’ Operator:…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":403,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[181],"tags":[1104,526],"class_list":["post-9175","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-clean-jokes","tag-jokes"],"yoast_head":"\nHUM\u263aR - Actual call center conversations! - Watchwoman on the Wall<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/2011\/11\/hum\u263ar-actual-call-center-conversations.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"HUM\u263aR - Actual call center conversations! 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He continued that God wasn't important, wasn't real, and our parents just used God to impose restrictions on us because they were inadequate to parent effectively. I knew then I was going to be involved in a war and that I would have to be in Jesus Christ's Army. Even then, I knew the United States of America would cease to exist without the vast majority of its citizens voluntarily submitting to the Perfect and Good Laws of the Holy Bible. I am a woman who loves the Lord Jesus Christ. I am tired of seeing our LORD denigrated from the school house to the White House. I search the Internet for items that ought to serve as a warning to Americans and Christians all through America, but the nation seems to be sleeping. Wake up America! You are losing your freedoms, your children and your country. Wake up and help stop it!","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/author\/dcalvin"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9175","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/403"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9175"}],"version-history":[{"count":16,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9175\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9237,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9175\/revisions\/9237"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9175"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9175"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9175"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}