{"id":8487,"date":"2011-10-11T17:53:20","date_gmt":"2011-10-11T21:53:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/watchwomanonthewall\/?p=8487"},"modified":"2011-10-11T17:53:20","modified_gmt":"2011-10-11T21:53:20","slug":"hum%e2%98%bar-or-wisdom-a-little-of-both-paraprosdokians","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/2011\/10\/hum%e2%98%bar-or-wisdom-a-little-of-both-paraprosdokians.html","title":{"rendered":"HUM\u263aR (OR WISDOM) – A LITTLE OF BOTH – PARAPROSDOKIANS"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

“Paraprosdokian” definition: “Figure of speech in which the latter part of\u00a0a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a\u00a0humorous situation.” “Where there’s a will, I want to be in it,” is a type\u00a0of paraprosdokian.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Enj\u263ay!<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat\u00a0you with experience.<\/p>\n

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list.<\/p>\n

3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.<\/p>\n

4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.<\/p>\n

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.<\/p>\n

6. War does not determine who is right – only who is left.<\/p>\n

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom isnot putting it in a fruit salad.<\/p>\n

8. Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good Evening,’ and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.<\/p>\n

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.<\/p>\n

10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.<\/p>\n

11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.<\/p>\n

12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, ‘In case of emergency, notify:’ I put ‘DOCTOR.’<\/p>\n

13. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.<\/p>\n

14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.<\/p>\n

15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.<\/p>\n

16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.<\/p>\n

17. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.<\/p>\n

18. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.<\/p>\n

19. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.<\/p>\n

20. There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.<\/p>\n

21. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.<\/p>\n

22. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.<\/p>\n

23. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.<\/p>\n

24. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.<\/p>\n

25. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.<\/p>\n

26. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.<\/p>\n

27. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.<\/p>\n

28. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.<\/p>\n

29. I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.<\/p>\n

30. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.<\/p>\n

Words of Wisdom “The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| “Paraprosdokian” definition: “Figure of speech in which the latter part of\u00a0a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a\u00a0humorous situation.” “Where there’s a will, I want to be in it,” is a type\u00a0of paraprosdokian. Enj\u263ay! 1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":403,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[965,181],"tags":[526,3229],"class_list":["post-8487","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-great-quotes","category-humor","tag-jokes","tag-paraprosdokians"],"yoast_head":"\nHUM\u263aR (OR WISDOM) - A LITTLE OF BOTH - PARAPROSDOKIANS - Watchwoman on the Wall<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/2011\/10\/hum\u263ar-or-wisdom-a-little-of-both-paraprosdokians.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"HUM\u263aR (OR WISDOM) - A LITTLE OF BOTH - PARAPROSDOKIANS - Watchwoman on the Wall\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| “Paraprosdokian” definition: “Figure of speech in which the latter part of\u00a0a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a\u00a0humorous situation.” “Where there’s a will, I want to be in it,” is a type\u00a0of paraprosdokian. Enj\u263ay! 1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/2011\/10\/hum\u263ar-or-wisdom-a-little-of-both-paraprosdokians.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Watchwoman on the Wall\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-10-11T21:53:20+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/watchwomanonthewall\/files\/2011\/10\/Huge-Smiley-Face.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Donna Calvin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"HUM\u263aR (OR WISDOM) - A LITTLE OF BOTH - PARAPROSDOKIANS - Watchwoman on the Wall","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/2011\/10\/hum\u263ar-or-wisdom-a-little-of-both-paraprosdokians.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"HUM\u263aR (OR WISDOM) - A LITTLE OF BOTH - PARAPROSDOKIANS - Watchwoman on the Wall","og_description":"||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| “Paraprosdokian” definition: “Figure of speech in which the latter part of\u00a0a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a\u00a0humorous situation.” “Where there’s a will, I want to be in it,” is a type\u00a0of paraprosdokian. Enj\u263ay! 1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/2011\/10\/hum\u263ar-or-wisdom-a-little-of-both-paraprosdokians.html","og_site_name":"Watchwoman on the Wall","article_published_time":"2011-10-11T21:53:20+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/watchwomanonthewall\/files\/2011\/10\/Huge-Smiley-Face.jpg"}],"author":"Donna Calvin","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/2011\/10\/hum%e2%98%bar-or-wisdom-a-little-of-both-paraprosdokians.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/2011\/10\/hum%e2%98%bar-or-wisdom-a-little-of-both-paraprosdokians.html","name":"HUM\u263aR (OR WISDOM) - A LITTLE OF BOTH - PARAPROSDOKIANS - Watchwoman on the Wall","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/2011\/10\/hum%e2%98%bar-or-wisdom-a-little-of-both-paraprosdokians.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/2011\/10\/hum%e2%98%bar-or-wisdom-a-little-of-both-paraprosdokians.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/watchwomanonthewall\/files\/2011\/10\/Huge-Smiley-Face.jpg","datePublished":"2011-10-11T21:53:20+00:00","dateModified":"2011-10-11T21:53:20+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/#\/schema\/person\/1470e1ef6765f8a27f970307b0835df1"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/2011\/10\/hum%e2%98%bar-or-wisdom-a-little-of-both-paraprosdokians.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/2011\/10\/hum%e2%98%bar-or-wisdom-a-little-of-both-paraprosdokians.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/2011\/10\/hum%e2%98%bar-or-wisdom-a-little-of-both-paraprosdokians.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/watchwomanonthewall\/files\/2011\/10\/Huge-Smiley-Face.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/watchwomanonthewall\/files\/2011\/10\/Huge-Smiley-Face.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/2011\/10\/hum%e2%98%bar-or-wisdom-a-little-of-both-paraprosdokians.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"HUM\u263aR (OR WISDOM) – A LITTLE OF BOTH – PARAPROSDOKIANS"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/","name":"Watchwoman on the Wall","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Donna Calvin","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/#\/schema\/person\/1470e1ef6765f8a27f970307b0835df1","name":"Donna Calvin","description":"In sixth grade my teacher told us that we were going to be the first generation to see the year 2000 and all things would be different. He continued that God wasn't important, wasn't real, and our parents just used God to impose restrictions on us because they were inadequate to parent effectively. I knew then I was going to be involved in a war and that I would have to be in Jesus Christ's Army. Even then, I knew the United States of America would cease to exist without the vast majority of its citizens voluntarily submitting to the Perfect and Good Laws of the Holy Bible. I am a woman who loves the Lord Jesus Christ. I am tired of seeing our LORD denigrated from the school house to the White House. I search the Internet for items that ought to serve as a warning to Americans and Christians all through America, but the nation seems to be sleeping. Wake up America! You are losing your freedoms, your children and your country. Wake up and help stop it!","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/author\/dcalvin"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8487","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/403"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8487"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8487\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8517,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8487\/revisions\/8517"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8487"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8487"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8487"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}