{"id":4798,"date":"2011-07-22T16:13:47","date_gmt":"2011-07-22T20:13:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/watchwomanonthewall\/?p=4798"},"modified":"2011-07-22T16:13:47","modified_gmt":"2011-07-22T20:13:47","slug":"hum%e2%98%bar-the-food-polices-top-10-to-solve-the-obesity-epidemic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/2011\/07\/hum%e2%98%bar-the-food-polices-top-10-to-solve-the-obesity-epidemic.html","title":{"rendered":"Hum\u263ar – THE FOOD POLICE’S TOP 10 TO SOLVE The Obesity Epidemic"},"content":{"rendered":"

REMEMBER THIS IS HUM\u263aR<\/h1>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hey Gang,<\/div>\n

A friend told me tonight that maybe there really is global warming.\u00a0 And I said Nahhh we just went through one of the coldest winters on record.\u00a0 Its just the age of extremes.\u00a0 Like the obesity epidemic going on while people are starving to death.\u00a0 Its either feast or famine. Which leads me right into my topic.<\/p>\n

The Obesity Epidemic<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

\"\"Well now we have another war, the war on fat.\u00a0 The new battle of the bulge.<\/p>\n

Rep. Stephen King of\u00a0Iowa\u00a0said the gov now wants to tell people what to eat.\u00a0 The energy bar has about 150 calories.\u00a0 People eat it for the quick energy.\u00a0 The gov wants to cut it down to 90 calories.\u00a0 King went on to say kids won’t be satisfied with 90 calories so they will buy two.\u00a0 And instead of 150 calories you now will have 180.\u00a0 Even with chips and\u00a0Doritos \u00a0the gov wants them to\u00a0cut down on calories.\u00a0 How will they do it?\u00a0 By putting a few less chips in a bag.\u00a0 Rep. King, I hear ya loud and clear.<\/p>\n

Is this what we want our gov to do?\u00a0 They can’t reduce spending but they want to reduce\u00a0our weight.\u00a0 UGHHHH!<\/p>\n

And government always fights itself.\u00a0 Here is a good example. \u00a0Michelle Obama\u00a0is trying to\u00a0do something about\u00a0obesity and there is Ron Paul trying to legalize pot.\u00a0 Everyone knows you smoke pot, you get the munchies and you get lazy.\u00a0 Maybe he\u00a0should try to legalize crack, the real diet pill.<\/p>\n

Here are some interesting statistics.\u00a0 They say people are the fattest in our Southern states.\u00a0 Well no kidding.\u00a0 Do you feel like exercising when its 98 degrees?\u00a0 And people weigh less in\u00a0Colorado.\u00a0 Well of course, its higher elevation, the scales work differently.<\/p>\n

\"\"\u00a0If only our fearless leader Obama would relax and the let the economy breath maybe jobs would return, people would work again and people would lose weight instead of sitting\u00a0collecting welfare and eating snacks.<\/p>\n

So I bring to you my top ten ways to make people lose weight.<\/p>\n

10. Makes forks and spoons\u00a0smaller.<\/p>\n

9.\u00a0Pass a law that all you can eat buffets serve nothing but salad and granola bars.<\/p>\n

8. Continue Obama’s energy policy which will make people walk everywhere.<\/p>\n

7. Put scales at the check outs of restaurants and grocery stores, it you weigh more than you should you pay a fat tax of 25%<\/p>\n

6.\u00a0Arrest\u00a0Burger King, Ronald McDonald,\u00a0Jack in the Box\u00a0and Wendy and put them in\u00a0Gitmo.<\/p>\n

5. Deport all illegal Mexicans and make lazy Americans cut their own\u00a0grass.<\/p>\n

4.\u00a0 Convince people the less you weigh the more MPG’s you will get in your car.<\/p>\n

3. Revive the\u00a0Twiggy craze.<\/p>\n

2. Take the Food Network off the air.<\/p>\n

And the Number One Way to Make People Lose Weight Is…..<\/p>\n

Make sure Obama is a two termer because after 8 years no one will be able to afford to eat<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0– – Carey Masci<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

REMEMBER THIS IS HUM\u263aR   Hey Gang, A friend told me tonight that maybe there really is global warming.\u00a0 And I said Nahhh we just went through one of the coldest winters on record.\u00a0 Its just the age of extremes.\u00a0 Like the obesity epidemic going on while people are starving to death.\u00a0 Its either feast…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":403,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1231,181,1482],"tags":[1728],"class_list":["post-4798","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-food-police","category-humor","category-top-list","tag-obesity-epidemic"],"yoast_head":"\nHum\u263ar - THE FOOD POLICE'S TOP 10 TO SOLVE The Obesity Epidemic - Watchwoman on the Wall<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/2011\/07\/hum\u263ar-the-food-polices-top-10-to-solve-the-obesity-epidemic.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Hum\u263ar - THE FOOD POLICE'S TOP 10 TO SOLVE The Obesity Epidemic - Watchwoman on the Wall\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"REMEMBER THIS IS HUM\u263aR   Hey Gang, A friend told me tonight that maybe there really is global warming.\u00a0 And I said Nahhh we just went through one of the coldest winters on record.\u00a0 Its just the age of extremes.\u00a0 Like the obesity epidemic going on while people are starving to death.\u00a0 Its either feast…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/watchwomanonthewall\/2011\/07\/hum\u263ar-the-food-polices-top-10-to-solve-the-obesity-epidemic.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Watchwoman on the Wall\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-07-22T20:13:47+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/th47.photobucket.com\/albums\/f179\/cc_sweetie_21\/th_fat_lady.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Donna Calvin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Hum\u263ar - 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