{"id":1280,"date":"2016-12-20T07:07:56","date_gmt":"2016-12-20T12:07:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/truthsyoucanuse\/?p=1280"},"modified":"2016-12-20T07:07:56","modified_gmt":"2016-12-20T12:07:56","slug":"what-you-need-to-do-during-the-holidays","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/truthsyoucanuse\/2016\/12\/what-you-need-to-do-during-the-holidays.html","title":{"rendered":"What To Say To Your Family During The Holidays"},"content":{"rendered":"

December means family time.\u00a0We celebrate holidays. We take a little time off. But many of us greet this with a feeling of worry.<\/p>\n

\"Do<\/a><\/p>\n

Our country feels more divided. The ties that bind us feel more frayed. I\u2019ve read some accounts of siblings cutting themselves off from one another because of the way they voted in this year\u2019s election.<\/em><\/p>\n

Is there a way out of this conflict? Is there a path to recovering what Lincoln called \u201cthe better angels of our nature?\u201d<\/p>\n

Make This Assumption<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yes. But it starts with an important assumption. We need to assume that those who disagree with us have good motives. We can question their ideas. We can question their decisions. But we can’t assume bad motives. Especially during the holidays.<\/p>\n

Take a political example: Let\u2019s see we support Obama\u00a0Care and our cousin does not. Do we assume he doesn\u2019t support it because he doesn\u2019t care about people who get sick and die because they can\u2019t get health care?<\/p>\n

Or do we assume he cares about people getting health care, but he does not think Obama Care is the right way? If we assume the former, we will never find a way to talk. If we assume the other, then at least we can try.<\/p>\n

Watch Your Words<\/strong><\/p>\n

We also need to watch our words. As a parent of two young children, I see the way they respond\u00a0when\u00a0frustrated with one another. They call each other names and even say things like \u201cI hate you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Now, of course, my wife and I stop this, and soon enough they are playing together again. But their behavior shows us how easily\u00a0disagreement can descend into name-calling.<\/a><\/p>\n

When we start calling each other names, we are talking past one another, making it harder to ever find peace.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a reason society develops manners. They help us get along. We need them during the holidays. And we need more in political and civic life today.<\/p>\n

Say “Thank You”\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

We also need to more gratitude. Even as so many in America struggle, we also live in an extraordinary time and place.<\/p>\n

We enjoy a better\u00a0quality of life\u2014cell phones, dishwashers, grocery stores filled to the brim\u2014than any other time in human history. Sometimes in the midst of our anger and frustration, we need to step back and say thank you.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s the logic behind the first prayer Jews say every morning. It begins with the words Modeh Ani L\u2019fanecha<\/em>, meaning \u201cI am thankful to be alive today.\u201d<\/p>\n

We say that prayer every morning even if we feel angry. We say it even if we are in the midst of tragedy. We say it even if we don\u2019t feel\u00a0it at the time.<\/p>\n

We begin the day with gratitude because life itself is a gift. That is the secret to finding the \u201cbetter angels of our nature.\u201d<\/p>\n

To get more inspiration for finding happiness and making better choices, get Rabbi Moffic’s free gift here.<\/a><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>Where do you find hope in our divided society?\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

December means family time.\u00a0We celebrate holidays. We take a little time off. But many of us greet this with a feeling of worry. Our country feels more divided. The ties that bind us feel more frayed. 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