{"id":532,"date":"2011-02-02T09:14:39","date_gmt":"2011-02-02T09:14:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/thinplaces\/2011\/02\/shes-not-a-baby-anymore.html"},"modified":"2011-02-02T09:14:39","modified_gmt":"2011-02-02T09:14:39","slug":"shes-not-a-baby-anymore","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/2011\/02\/shes-not-a-baby-anymore.html","title":{"rendered":"She’s Not a Baby Anymore"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"IMG_6314.JPG\"<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

I started work on Penny’s baby book a few months after she
\nwas born. The first few pages were easy–showers and gifts and memories of being
\npregnant. And then I got to the section that asked me to describe her birth. I
\nwrote down her full name, her birthday, her length and weight and eye color.
\nBut when I got to the bottom of the page, to the part that said, “I also had my
\nown distinctive characteristics…” I couldn’t fill in the blank. I put the book
\naside for a long long time.<\/p>\n

Every so often, I would vow to finish it. I’d add some
\nphotographs–her first birthday, visits with great-grandparents and friends and
\ntrips to New Orleans and bathtime and all sorts of other quintessential baby
\nshots. But that page with the distinctive characteristics. I always flipped
\npast it and left it blank.<\/p>\n

Penny turned five a month ago, and I pulled out her baby
\nbook a few days later. I filled in photos from holidays and birthdays. I sent
\naway for a copy of the first page of the New
\nYork Times<\/i> on the day of her birth. I found the hospital bracelet she wore
\nwhen she welcomed William into the world. And I came back to that page from her
\nbirth. Somehow, it didn’t seem so daunting anymore. <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

It took me five years, but I finally responded to the prompt about distinctive characteristics. I wrote, “Because I have Down syndrome, I stuck my tongue out a lot and I have a special line running across my palm. And just because I’m me, I made lots of funny faces, especially in the bath. I have the most beautiful eyes my mom has ever seen.”<\/p>\n

There are still a few blank spots in the book. I didn’t keep track of when each tooth erupted, for instance. I don’t really want to write about the major news events surrounding her birth, as they mostly involve violence and destruction.<\/p>\n

But I’m done with any sense of discomfort over the ways Penny is distinct. We’re starting to talk together about the fact that she has Down syndrome, and we’re trying to figure out how to convey to a five-year old what that extra chromosome means. I don’t have all the answers, and I’m sure that I will stumble over my words again. One thing is clear to me. She’s not a baby anymore. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I started work on Penny’s baby book a few months after she was born. The first few pages were easy–showers and gifts and memories of being pregnant. And then I got to the section that asked me to describe her birth. 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Two major life experiences have shaped her writing and her faith\u00e2\u20ac\u201dcaring for her mother-in-law as she battled cancer and welcoming her daughter Penny into the world after she was diagnosed at birth with Down syndrome. Both experiences expanded and enriched her understanding of what it means to be human and to receive each and every person as a gift.\u00c2\u00a0 A graduate of Princeton University and Princeton Theological Seminary, she is the author of Penelope Ayers: A Memoir, and the forthcoming A Good and Perfect Gift (Bethany House). Her essays have appeared in First Things, The Philadelphia Inquirer, The Christian Century, ChristianityToday.com, and Bloom, among other online venues.","sameAs":["http:\/\/amyjuliabecker.com"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/author\/amyjuliabecker"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/532","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/88"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=532"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/532\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=532"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=532"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=532"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}