{"id":525,"date":"2011-02-11T09:04:16","date_gmt":"2011-02-11T09:04:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/thinplaces\/2011\/02\/do-you-want-your-child-to-succeed.html"},"modified":"2011-02-11T09:04:16","modified_gmt":"2011-02-11T09:04:16","slug":"do-you-want-your-child-to-succeed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/2011\/02\/do-you-want-your-child-to-succeed.html","title":{"rendered":"Do You Want Your Child to Succeed?"},"content":{"rendered":"


\n\"IMG_6302.JPG\"<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

It is a struggle for me to know how to describe our 5-year
\nold daughter Penny, who has Down syndrome. On the one hand, I want to tell skeptical
\nstrangers that she’s smart<\/i>, and I
\nwant to back up that loaded word with proof of her accomplishments. I want to
\ndescribe how she asks, “Mom, can we do some homework?” and then proceeds to
\nsound out words or work on naming opposites or analogies. I want to take a
\npicture of her working on a jigsaw puzzle. Or videotape one morning when her
\nyounger brother William asks her to read him a book. Or record our car rides to
\nschool when she makes up a song to entertain us all. <\/p>\n

There’s a part of me that wants to shout her achievements
\nfrom the proverbial rooftops, to declare that children with Down syndrome have
\nmore potential to learn than any doctor or teacher or therapist ever thought
\npossible. And yet I worry that proclaiming Penny’s abilities is merely to abide
\nby a cultural standard that measures human value based upon accomplishments and
\naptitude instead of intrinsic worth.<\/p>\n

Plenty of children with Down syndrome who grow up in equally loving, equally stimulating, equally supportive environments are not doing the things that Penny is doing. And their lives are no less valuable than hers.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

So sometimes I feel stuck. I want other parents, and, perhaps more so, doctors and teachers and the general public, to know that the limitations they assume for a child with Down syndrome just might be wrong. But I don’t want to imply that the reason to welcome children and adults with Down syndrome and other disabilities is because of their “potential.” I don’t want to imply that Penny’s life is more significant than the child who cannot speak, or the adult who wears diapers, or the teenager who has not yet learned to read.<\/p>\n

So how do I describe her in such a way that affirms her abilities without basing her value as a human being upon those abilities? At the end of the day, what I want for Penny is the same as what I want for William, and for any other child.<\/p>\n

I don’t want her worth to be measured based upon what she can do. For instance, I don’t want her to be the best ballerina in her ballet class or the most proficient reader in her school. But I do want her to find activities she enjoys and work hard so she can enjoy them even more. I don’t want her life to be evaluated in such a way that it takes from others (i.e. she’s better than so-and-so, and therefore she’s a more significant human being). I want her life to be a life that gives. <\/p>\n

I don’t want her to succeed. Rather, I want her to flourish.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It is a struggle for me to know how to describe our 5-year old daughter Penny, who has Down syndrome. On the one hand, I want to tell skeptical strangers that she’s smart, and I want to back up that loaded word with proof of her accomplishments. I want to describe how she asks, “Mom,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":88,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,1,6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-525","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-disability","category-down-syndrome","category-family"],"yoast_head":"\nDo You Want Your Child to Succeed? - Thin Places<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/2011\/02\/do-you-want-your-child-to-succeed.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Do You Want Your Child to Succeed? - Thin Places\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"It is a struggle for me to know how to describe our 5-year old daughter Penny, who has Down syndrome. On the one hand, I want to tell skeptical strangers that she’s smart, and I want to back up that loaded word with proof of her accomplishments. I want to describe how she asks, “Mom,…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/2011\/02\/do-you-want-your-child-to-succeed.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Thin Places\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-02-11T09:04:16+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/thinplaces\/files\/import\/assets_c\/2011\/01\/IMG_6302-thumb-200x384-21041.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"amyjuliabecker\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Do You Want Your Child to Succeed? - Thin Places","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/2011\/02\/do-you-want-your-child-to-succeed.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Do You Want Your Child to Succeed? - Thin Places","og_description":"It is a struggle for me to know how to describe our 5-year old daughter Penny, who has Down syndrome. On the one hand, I want to tell skeptical strangers that she’s smart, and I want to back up that loaded word with proof of her accomplishments. I want to describe how she asks, “Mom,…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/2011\/02\/do-you-want-your-child-to-succeed.html","og_site_name":"Thin Places","article_published_time":"2011-02-11T09:04:16+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/thinplaces\/files\/import\/assets_c\/2011\/01\/IMG_6302-thumb-200x384-21041.jpg"}],"author":"amyjuliabecker","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/2011\/02\/do-you-want-your-child-to-succeed.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/2011\/02\/do-you-want-your-child-to-succeed.html","name":"Do You Want Your Child to Succeed? - Thin Places","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/2011\/02\/do-you-want-your-child-to-succeed.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/2011\/02\/do-you-want-your-child-to-succeed.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/thinplaces\/files\/import\/assets_c\/2011\/01\/IMG_6302-thumb-200x384-21041.jpg","datePublished":"2011-02-11T09:04:16+00:00","dateModified":"2011-02-11T09:04:16+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/#\/schema\/person\/4dde10eee38770361dc9b46a9413776b"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/2011\/02\/do-you-want-your-child-to-succeed.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/2011\/02\/do-you-want-your-child-to-succeed.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/2011\/02\/do-you-want-your-child-to-succeed.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/thinplaces\/files\/import\/assets_c\/2011\/01\/IMG_6302-thumb-200x384-21041.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/thinplaces\/files\/import\/assets_c\/2011\/01\/IMG_6302-thumb-200x384-21041.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/2011\/02\/do-you-want-your-child-to-succeed.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Do You Want Your Child to Succeed?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/","name":"Thin Places","description":"Amy Julia Becker on Faith, Family, and Disability","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/#\/schema\/person\/4dde10eee38770361dc9b46a9413776b","name":"amyjuliabecker","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/222\/2222023dcae76abe6e896a3cf80e9836x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/222\/2222023dcae76abe6e896a3cf80e9836x96.jpg","caption":"amyjuliabecker"},"description":"Amy Julia Becker writes about theology, disability, family, and culture. Two major life experiences have shaped her writing and her faith\u00e2\u20ac\u201dcaring for her mother-in-law as she battled cancer and welcoming her daughter Penny into the world after she was diagnosed at birth with Down syndrome. Both experiences expanded and enriched her understanding of what it means to be human and to receive each and every person as a gift.\u00c2\u00a0 A graduate of Princeton University and Princeton Theological Seminary, she is the author of Penelope Ayers: A Memoir, and the forthcoming A Good and Perfect Gift (Bethany House). Her essays have appeared in First Things, The Philadelphia Inquirer, The Christian Century, ChristianityToday.com, and Bloom, among other online venues.","sameAs":["http:\/\/amyjuliabecker.com"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/author\/amyjuliabecker"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/525","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/88"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=525"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/525\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=525"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=525"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=525"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}