{"id":441,"date":"2010-12-01T13:47:58","date_gmt":"2010-12-01T13:47:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/thinplaces\/2010\/12\/perfectly-human-why-are-we-here-by-phil-may.html"},"modified":"2010-12-01T13:47:58","modified_gmt":"2010-12-01T13:47:58","slug":"perfectly-human-why-are-we-here-by-phil-may","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/2010\/12\/perfectly-human-why-are-we-here-by-phil-may.html","title":{"rendered":"Perfectly Human: Why Are We Here? By Phil May"},"content":{"rendered":"


\n\"jonathanmay.jpg\"<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

Every day when I return home from work,
\nas soon as I am through the front door, I can hear Jonathan scampering toward
\nme yelling “DADDY!  <\/span>Daddy’s home!”
\nI immediately receive a bear hug and a huge smile. Funny thing is that when I
\nreturn from a quick run to the grocery store, I receive the same homecoming.<\/p>\n

Jonathan is almost eight-years old and
\nhas Down syndrome. He is in a first grade class at the local elementary school
\nwith “typical” kids. If you were to see his report card, you would conclude he
\nis an average student with gifts in some subjects.  <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

One of my favorite things is to wake
\nhim in the morning.  <\/span>As soon as he
\nsits up, he exclaims what exciting thing will be happening that day:  <\/span>“We’re going on a field trip to Oatland
\nIsland today!” or “There’s no school today!”  <\/span>In the middle of the day, and out of the blue, he will
\nremind me of something funny that happened months before.  <\/span>This is a child with an exceptional
\nmemory.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The cynical ones among us might read my
\nopening story and think, of course, that kind of behavior is consistent with
\n“slow” children; cute, but immature and juvenile. But Jonathan is anything but
\nslow. What I take from the opening story is this is a human being with an
\nexceptional gift of love and empathy. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

***<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Why are we here?  <\/span>Who are our heroes?<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Many think that we are here to raise the next <\/span>Phil Mickelson, Mylie Cyrus or Jack Welsh (GE’s ex-CEO).  <\/span>As parents, we spend amazing resources to shuttle our children from activity to activity, and we brag about our children’s accomplishments.  <\/span>To what end?  <\/span>Wealth? Fame?<\/p>\n

Perhaps it is to provide them with every opportunity to find that one thing in which they will excel, or to provide them with the activity list which will help them gain acceptance to the best university. It is a completely defensible position to wish for our children to have the brightest future possible. <\/span><\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Our family moved around a lot through my youth, and I have few lifelong friends from high school. Recently, I was flipping through my high school yearbook. I don’t remember the sport stars whose photos are profiled, nor the band leaders, nor the homecoming king and queen. But I do remember a few people from that time. The thing they had in common was their kindness. They had a cheery outlook on life. They worked hard at school. They weren’t defined by their accomplishments; they were defined by the way they treated others.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Parents of children with special needs spend a lot of time contemplating the future of our children. We don’t typically think about them being the next superstar, but rather elebrate those milestones which give us comfort that our children will ultimately be as self-sufficient as possible. We work exceptionally hard for “average” and often times do not achieve this. <\/span><\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

By standard measures, most would think of me as a pretty successful person.  <\/span>I attended college, received a master’s degree from a prestigious university, hold a “VP” in my title and live in a great neighborhood. I have a beautiful and successful wife and two wonderful children. I have it all! <\/span><\/p>\n

But I look at Jonathan with envy. I wish I was more like him. Jonathan has amazing courage to reach out to those he has never met and make friends. He has a wonderful sense of humor. He brings great energy to every day. He goes to sleep reluctantly; he lives in the moment, drinking in all the activity. <\/span><\/p>\n

Nothing makes him happier than coordinating a group hug. He lives to love.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

So consider the question I posed earlier.  <\/span>Why are we here?  <\/span>There are a lot of legitimate answers to this question, but I’ll choose this one:  <\/span>To glorify God by loving others as we love ourselves. Jonathan models the behaviors that are deficient in my own personality:  <\/span>love, acceptance, the ability to live in–and enjoy–the moment. His contact with people
\nleaves them happier.<\/p>\n

On this commandment, Jonathan is well above average.  <\/span>He inspires me.<\/p>\n

I love you Jonathan.  <\/span>Dad<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Phil May and his wife Brooke co-produced the film, Deedah which is their daughter Charlotte’s story about what it’s like to have a brother with Down syndrome.<\/i>  <\/i><\/span>Phil and Brooke blog about their family at <\/i>www.deedahandme.com<\/a>\/blog<\/i>. <\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Every day when I return home from work, as soon as I am through the front door, I can hear Jonathan scampering toward me yelling “DADDY!  Daddy’s home!” I immediately receive a bear hug and a huge smile. Funny thing is that when I return from a quick run to the grocery store, I receive…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":88,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,2,6,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-441","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-down-syndrome","category-faith","category-family","category-perfectly-human"],"yoast_head":"\nPerfectly Human: Why Are We Here? 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By Phil May"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/","name":"Thin Places","description":"Amy Julia Becker on Faith, Family, and Disability","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/#\/schema\/person\/4dde10eee38770361dc9b46a9413776b","name":"amyjuliabecker","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/222\/2222023dcae76abe6e896a3cf80e9836x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/222\/2222023dcae76abe6e896a3cf80e9836x96.jpg","caption":"amyjuliabecker"},"description":"Amy Julia Becker writes about theology, disability, family, and culture. Two major life experiences have shaped her writing and her faith\u00e2\u20ac\u201dcaring for her mother-in-law as she battled cancer and welcoming her daughter Penny into the world after she was diagnosed at birth with Down syndrome. Both experiences expanded and enriched her understanding of what it means to be human and to receive each and every person as a gift.\u00c2\u00a0 A graduate of Princeton University and Princeton Theological Seminary, she is the author of Penelope Ayers: A Memoir, and the forthcoming A Good and Perfect Gift (Bethany House). Her essays have appeared in First Things, The Philadelphia Inquirer, The Christian Century, ChristianityToday.com, and Bloom, among other online venues.","sameAs":["http:\/\/amyjuliabecker.com"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/author\/amyjuliabecker"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/441","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/88"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=441"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/441\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=441"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=441"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=441"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}