{"id":301,"date":"2010-07-19T10:30:55","date_gmt":"2010-07-19T10:30:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/thinplaces\/2010\/07\/down-syndrome-and-marriage.html"},"modified":"2010-07-19T10:30:55","modified_gmt":"2010-07-19T10:30:55","slug":"down-syndrome-and-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/2010\/07\/down-syndrome-and-marriage.html","title":{"rendered":"Down Syndrome and Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"

\n

\"Thumbnail<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

Penny was six months old. I was reading Time Magazine, and
\nthere was an article<\/a> about Carolyn Bergeron and Sujeet Desai, two adults with
\nDown syndrome getting married. I frowned. For one thing, I didn’t like the idea of Penny, and people like
\nPenny, being so different that their marriages would make the national news.
\nBut I also felt skeptical. Although they lived independently, Carrie and Suj
\nstill relied upon their parents and aids to provide economic and practical
\nsupport. If they couldn’t cook for themselves, I wondered, was it really a
\nmarriage?<\/p>\n

I showed the article to Peter without stating my
\nreservations. He finished reading with a wide smile. <\/p>\n

“What did you think?” I asked.<\/p>\n

“It’s beautiful,” he said. Penny was in the room with us. He
\nleaned over and said, “It would be an honor to walk you down the aisle.”<\/p>\n

“But don’t you think there’s something a little strange?
\nIt’s like being happy that two middle schoolers got married.”<\/p>\n

He shook his head a little and said gently, “I don’t think
\nso. There’s a difference between intelligence and maturity. These two might not
\nbe as intelligent as most of the 20-somethings we know, but that doesn’t mean
\nthey aren’t mature enough to get married.” <\/p>\n

His words have stayed with me. They’ve made me think about
\nmy own intelligence and how I sometimes use it as a foil to hide immaturity.
\nThey’ve made me think about my spiritual state–about how Jesus tells us to
\n“change and become like little children” (Matthew 18:3<\/a>).
\nBut the writer of Hebrews instructs us to become mature (Hebrews 5:13-14<\/a>).
\nI wonder sometimes whether couples like Suj and Carrie can teach me about that
\nunusual but commendable combination of maturity and childlikeness (which, by the way, is not the same as being childish, and by which I do not at all mean to suggest that individuals with Down syndrome are perpetual children).<\/p>\n

Last week, a friend sent a link to the trailer of Monica and
\nDavid<\/a>,
\na documentary about another couple with Down syndrome who get married. This
\ntime, I watched it with tears in my eyes, grateful that I can hope that one day
\nPeter will walk Penny down the aisle, and grateful, once again, for all I have
\nto learn and receive from people with gifts and abilities that are different
\nfrom my own. <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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Two major life experiences have shaped her writing and her faith\u00e2\u20ac\u201dcaring for her mother-in-law as she battled cancer and welcoming her daughter Penny into the world after she was diagnosed at birth with Down syndrome. Both experiences expanded and enriched her understanding of what it means to be human and to receive each and every person as a gift.\u00c2\u00a0 A graduate of Princeton University and Princeton Theological Seminary, she is the author of Penelope Ayers: A Memoir, and the forthcoming A Good and Perfect Gift (Bethany House). Her essays have appeared in First Things, The Philadelphia Inquirer, The Christian Century, ChristianityToday.com, and Bloom, among other online venues.","sameAs":["http:\/\/amyjuliabecker.com"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/author\/amyjuliabecker"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/301","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/88"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=301"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/301\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=301"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=301"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=301"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}