{"id":294,"date":"2010-07-12T09:02:35","date_gmt":"2010-07-12T09:02:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/thinplaces\/2010\/07\/taking-the-edge-off-the-gift-and-curse-of-coffee-and-wine.html"},"modified":"2010-07-12T09:02:35","modified_gmt":"2010-07-12T09:02:35","slug":"taking-the-edge-off-the-gift-and-curse-of-coffee-and-wine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/2010\/07\/taking-the-edge-off-the-gift-and-curse-of-coffee-and-wine.html","title":{"rendered":"Taking the Edge Off: What’s Wrong With a Drink at the End of the Day?"},"content":{"rendered":"


\n\"glass_of_wine-13867.jpg\"<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

Peter’s
\nMom always told him that she started going to AA because she was worried about
\nwhere her drinking habit would lead her. She wasn’t drinking a lot, but she was
\ndrinking every day. And, she said, she needed<\/i> that drink (vodka on the
\nrocks) at the end of the day, “to take the edge off.” With
\na family history of alcoholism, it scared her to think of where that one drink
\nmight lead. So she went to AA and stopped drinking.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/span><\/p>\n

She did,
\nhowever, continue to drink coffee, smoke cigarettes, and take anti-depressants. <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/span><\/p>\n

So last night, Peter and I were
\ntalking about the pleasures of a glass of wine (or, in his case in the summer,
\na gin and tonic). And he wondered out loud if he should heed his
\nmother’s warnings and give up his evening drink. Here’s the scene: the kids are
\ngetting tired and hungry and tend to whine, pull on our clothes, and
\noccasionally collapse on the floor because they didn’t get their way (for
\nWilliam that would be, “No, you may not have a pistachio right now,”
\nfor Penny, something like, “No, I will not read Ladybug Girl at the Beach<\/i> with you for the seventeenth time
\ntoday”). The alcohol smoothes the family wrinkles, softens the
\ncries. It takes the edge off. <\/span><\/p>\n

But should it? <\/span><\/p>\n

\"coffee<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

Before I try to answer
\nthat question, let’s move to another scene. Early morning. Penny usually awakes
\nbetween 5:00 and 5:30 and patters into our room for one of us to help her use
\nthe potty. It’s a rare morning that she goes back to sleep. She plays by
\nherself until 6:00 or 6:30, but we’re slightly aware of her presence until we
\nrouse ourselves and head downstairs. Our kids know that the first thing that
\nneeds to happen in the morning is: “Dad makes coffee.” “Mom makes tea.”
\nCaffeine is a prerequisite for the morning together. <\/span><\/p>\n

What I wonder is whether
\nthere is a difference between that morning stimulant and that afternoon
\ndepressant, assuming that both are consumed in limited quantities (i.e. one or
\ntwo cups of coffee\/tea, one alcoholic beverage on a normal night, two if
\nthere’s a dinner party involved)? Was there a difference, for my mother-in-law,
\nbetween the coffee and the vodka? <\/span><\/p>\n

There is a purist in me
\nthat argues I shouldn’t need caffeine. I should honor my body and get the sleep
\nI need. I shouldn’t need alcohol. I should cultivate the “fruit of the Spirit,”
\nwhich includes patience, even at the family witching hour. <\/span><\/p>\n

And there’s a realist in
\nme that says I am a human being who lives in a body, a body gets tired and
\ncranky. And there are perfectly good substances that can change that tired,
\ncranky body into a wakeful, happy one. <\/span><\/p>\n

I’m grateful for the good
\npleasure of a cup of tea in the morning and a glass of wine at night. But I’m
\nalso aware that any good thing can be loved too much. And loving the wrong
\nthing, and loving it too much, leads to destruction.  <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

What do you think? <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Peter’s Mom always told him that she started going to AA because she was worried about where her drinking habit would lead her. She wasn’t drinking a lot, but she was drinking every day. 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Two major life experiences have shaped her writing and her faith\u00e2\u20ac\u201dcaring for her mother-in-law as she battled cancer and welcoming her daughter Penny into the world after she was diagnosed at birth with Down syndrome. Both experiences expanded and enriched her understanding of what it means to be human and to receive each and every person as a gift.\u00c2\u00a0 A graduate of Princeton University and Princeton Theological Seminary, she is the author of Penelope Ayers: A Memoir, and the forthcoming A Good and Perfect Gift (Bethany House). Her essays have appeared in First Things, The Philadelphia Inquirer, The Christian Century, ChristianityToday.com, and Bloom, among other online venues.","sameAs":["http:\/\/amyjuliabecker.com"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/author\/amyjuliabecker"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/294","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/88"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=294"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/294\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=294"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=294"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=294"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}