{"id":258,"date":"2010-06-03T09:07:20","date_gmt":"2010-06-03T09:07:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/thinplaces\/2010\/06\/down-syndrome-autism-and-the-impact-on-families.html"},"modified":"2010-06-03T09:07:20","modified_gmt":"2010-06-03T09:07:20","slug":"down-syndrome-autism-and-the-impact-on-families","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/2010\/06\/down-syndrome-autism-and-the-impact-on-families.html","title":{"rendered":"Down Syndrome, Autism, and the Impact on Families"},"content":{"rendered":"


\n\"IMG_4973.JPG\"<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

Our son William is a sensitive child. Lights, noises,
\ntextures. He responds immediately and intensely. So on Saturday morning, when
\nmy mother inadvertently opened a picture book that included a light and a buzzing
\nsound, William wailed. And wailed. And wailed.<\/p>\n

He was still wailing, in my arms, when Penny came into the
\nroom. She had been reading on her own, but the sound of her brother crying
\nbrought her downstairs. She hugged him and said, “It’s okay, William. Don’t
\ncry. I’ll keep you safe.”<\/p>\n

For years, it has been assumed that having a sibling or a
\nchild with a disability has a negative impact on the family. Studies in the
\n1970’s and 1980’s claimed that siblings of children with Down syndrome had more
\nbehavioral problems than their peers. And for years, families with children on
\nthe autism spectrum have been told that they have an 80% likelihood of
\ndivorcing. <\/p>\n

Turns out they’re wrong. On both accounts.<\/p>\n

Dr. Brian Skotko<\/a> and Susan Levine published a paper<\/a> in the
\nAmerican Journal of Medical Genetics after studying over 3,000 siblings of
\nindividuals with Down syndrome. They concluded, “having a sibling with Down
\nSyndrome is a privileged experience. The individuals we have encountered
\nexperienced both positive and negative feelings in their sibling relationships,
\nbut the positive emotions most often outweighed the negative ones. When they
\nare older, most brothers and sisters describe their life’s journey as one
\nfilled with rich meaning and pride.”<\/p>\n

As for the autism statistics, a recent study debunked<\/a> the
\n80% divorce statistic, and demonstrated instead that 64% of children with autism
\nremain with both parents throughout their lives. 65% of typically-developing
\nchildren remain with both parents. Just in case it isn’t already clear: there’s
\nno difference.<\/p>\n

In both cases, parents and siblings readily admit that
\nhaving a family member with a disability is challenging. Skotko and Levine list
\nsome of the questions asked by siblings about Down syndrome, including “How
\nlong is their life expectancy? Can people with DS have normal jobs? Will she be
\ndifferent? Why does my sister make weird noises?” And parents interviewed for
\nthe study on autism also attest to the challenges they face.<\/p>\n

Apparently, in the past, medical professionals and the public in general have assumed that challenges lead to conflict and negative relationships. But these studies demonstrate that challenges can lead to compassion. In the
\ncase of the siblings with Down syndrome, they reported greater empathy, less
\nconflict, and more warmth in their relationships than those of families with
\ntypically-developing siblings.<\/p>\n

I’ve long suspected that Penny and William will be great
\nblessings to one another. She already looks for ways to take care of
\nhim–running to get his giraffe and blankie when he cries, holding his hand in the stroller, yelling at him when she thinks he’s doing something dangerous. He returns the favor, particularly when it comes to food. Whenever he requests something of me, he concludes by saying, “And one for Penny!” It’s not a ploy. He always brings the additional item to her. I can imagine these same patterns played out as they get older. And I am confident that they will both,
\nthroughout their lives, look for ways to care for one another, comfort each other when they cry, and keep each other safe. <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Our son William is a sensitive child. Lights, noises, textures. He responds immediately and intensely. So on Saturday morning, when my mother inadvertently opened a picture book that included a light and a buzzing sound, William wailed. And wailed. And wailed. He was still wailing, in my arms, when Penny came into the room. 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Two major life experiences have shaped her writing and her faith\u00e2\u20ac\u201dcaring for her mother-in-law as she battled cancer and welcoming her daughter Penny into the world after she was diagnosed at birth with Down syndrome. Both experiences expanded and enriched her understanding of what it means to be human and to receive each and every person as a gift.\u00c2\u00a0 A graduate of Princeton University and Princeton Theological Seminary, she is the author of Penelope Ayers: A Memoir, and the forthcoming A Good and Perfect Gift (Bethany House). Her essays have appeared in First Things, The Philadelphia Inquirer, The Christian Century, ChristianityToday.com, and Bloom, among other online venues.","sameAs":["http:\/\/amyjuliabecker.com"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/author\/amyjuliabecker"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/258","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/88"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=258"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/258\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=258"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=258"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thinplaces\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=258"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}