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Mid Life Crisis: What is it? Is it inevitable? Is it even a real phenomenon? Or is it an invention of the media \u2014 that is, corporate advertising trying to sell us things we don\u2019t need? (Not only do we not need these cosmetic and quasi-medical accoutrements, they are downright insulting and sometimes even dangerous.) <\/em><\/p>\n I have been inundated lately by articles, poems, and stories about the so-called \u201cMidlife Crisis.\u201d Clearly it is a subject very much on the minds of many, many women. The writings that I have been sharing with you cover the gamut of opinions, ideas, and suggestions about coping with a Midlife Crisis, ours or someone else\u2019s. I offer them up to you to for your interest and edification.<\/em><\/p>\n As always, I invite you to send me your stories<\/a> \u2014 experiences, advice, and inspiration to share with our community of Midlife Queens.<\/em><\/p>\n Midlife Crisis or Midlife Consciousness? You choose!<\/em><\/p>\n xxQueen Mama Donna<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Emerging Maturity \u2013 Part 1<\/strong><\/p>\n By Vivian Diller, Ph.D.<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n If you’re between 45 and 65 years old, then you know what it’s like to be lumped together by age, as a mid-lifer, Baby Boomer, Hippie or Yuppie. Viewed as that huge generation reaching middle age (and beyond) by the millions, we’ve been told that we can retain our vitality and visibility if we just work hard enough. “Hit the gym, keep active, play Scrabble, join Facebook and try Tweeting,” experts advise. Oh, and should we hit bumps along the way, hampered by some poor life choices \u2014 a dysfunctional marriage, a dead-end job, an overweight or out-of-shape body \u2014 we need only reawaken our dormant passions and reinvent ourselves to move gracefully into old age. We are, after all, going to be all right. Better than ever.<\/p>\n With angst, yet relief, I read Never Say Die<\/em>, by Susan Jacoby, who is a little less sanguine about this whole aging thing, describing it, more or less, as “brutal.” She argues that we have been blindly led to believe in midlife “mythical metamorphosis,” after years of being bombarded by age-defying fantasies in the media \u2014 and not just by marketers who make money out of that sort of thing, but by well-meaning psychologists, support groups, self-help books and magazines. According to The New York Times, Jacoby debunks the anti-aging fairy-tale and questions our dream that “medical science will transform human biology and spare us all from decrepitude.” She warns, “Dream on.” Or better yet, stop dreaming.<\/p>\n Somewhere between “forever young” fantasies and throwing in the towel is reality \u2014 the true-life struggles confronted during the phase I call “Emerging Maturity.” In a recent article, titled “Midlife Crisis: A Misleading Myth or a Reality in Search of a New Name?” I described the cultural changes that necessitated a redefinition of the outdated term. Originally coined in the mid 1900s, the midlife crisis has become associated with the derogatory image of the 40-year-old guy behaving badly (think Owen Wilson movies) as he yearns to return to his youth \u2014 a hackneyed clich\u00e9 rendering the term relatively useless.<\/p>\n Emerging Maturity, on the other hand, is customized to fit today’s cultural landscape \u2014 neither something that occurs at midlife, nor necessarily a crisis. Experienced by both men and women, it starts most often as signs of aging emerge but can occur at any point when questions about mortality arise. It reflects the fact that we are the first generation living well into our 80s and 90s, facing new challenges and opportunities as a result. While our midpoint once led to feelings of panic and urgency \u2014 and therefore a desire to fulfill unmet goals before time ran out \u2014 it now more often leads to a heightened awareness of the many years that lie ahead, and a wish to bring fulfillment to the rest of the journey.<\/p>\n Tomorrow: Emerging Maturity \u2013 Part 2<\/p>\n *****<\/em><\/p>\n Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife<\/a>. She is the Midlife Midwife\u2122 offering counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE\u2122<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n