{"id":2153,"date":"2016-12-16T06:00:38","date_gmt":"2016-12-16T11:00:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/?p=2153"},"modified":"2016-12-09T14:39:03","modified_gmt":"2016-12-09T19:39:03","slug":"courage-happy-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/2016\/12\/courage-happy-2.html","title":{"rendered":"The Courage to Be Happy"},"content":{"rendered":"

by Laura Grace<\/em><\/p>\n

Happiness is inward and not outward;
\n<\/em><\/strong>and so it does not depend on what we have,
\n<\/em><\/strong>but on what we are.
\n<\/em><\/strong>–Henry Van Dyke<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Happiness is our birthright. It\u2019s the goal of our life. Yes, there will be times when we will suffer, but some of the most influential and healing people on our planet are those who choose and allow themselves to be happy, no matter the circumstance.<\/p>\n

In order to experience genuine happiness, we must understand what happiness is and where it comes from. And sometimes, it\u2019s easier to start with what it is not<\/em>. Heartfelt happiness has nothing to do with external circumstances; it\u2019s not based upon what we have or what we do. The most ambitious accomplishments cannot provide us with lasting happiness, nor can beauty, money or fame. None of the idols we subscribe to can ever fulfill us for happiness comes from within and cannot be discovered outside ourselves.<\/p>\n

Rick Foster & Greg Hicks, authors of How We Choose to Be Happy <\/em>affirm, \u201cTrue happiness is a profound, enduring feeling of contentment, capability and centeredness. It\u2019s a rich sense of well-being that comes from knowing you can deal productively and creatively with all that life offers\u2014both the good and the bad. It\u2019s knowing your eternal self and responding to your real needs, rather than the demands of others.\u201d<\/p>\n

Further, happiness is a choice<\/em><\/strong>; it\u2019s less about our circumstances and more about our attitude. Recently, after facilitating\u00a0 A Course in Miracles<\/em> lesson titled \u201cMy happiness and function are one,\u201d a group of us committed to choosing happiness for fourteen days. When we reconvened two weeks later, everyone agreed that the mornings we meditated and consciously chose happiness, our days were filled with contentment, even some bliss. But on the days we didn\u2019t, fear, anxiety and stress influenced our daily lives. We also discovered that the first week of choosing happiness was easier than the second week. Resistance\u2014the ego\u2019s crafty ploy\u2014crept in, preventing the same amount of satisfaction and peace from occurring. A Course in Miracles<\/em> reminds us that the \u201chappy learner\u201d is someone who recognizes we can just as easily learn through joy as pain, for the choice is ours: \u201cThere is no need to learn through pain. And gentle lessons are acquired joyously, and are remembered gladly.\u201d<\/p>\n

Finally, courage<\/strong> is an essential ingredient to living a happy life. It requires courage to allow<\/em> yourself to be genuinely happy. We do not yet reside in a society that supports happy people. There are countless support groups for those suffering, but not for those who take risks, go beyond self-imposed limitations and live life with gusto. Robert Anthony once penned, “Most people would rather be certain they’re miserable, than risk being happy.”<\/p>\n

Since we can\u2019t give what we don\u2019t have, it will be difficult to embrace another\u2019s joy if we are not feeling good about our own life. So if you are truly ready to be<\/em> happy, then you must accept that not everyone will necessarily be happy for<\/em> you. It all depends on their perception of their own life. A wonderful affirmation a friend passed on to me for living a courageously happy life is: \u201cI have the courage to be happy.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

In my own life, I have discovered there are certain qualities that a \u201chappy learner\u201d possesses. They are qualities which lead not only to happiness, but to integrity, conviction and healing as well:<\/p>\n

1) Taking Responsibility<\/strong>\u2014realize you are not a victim and are accountable for your thoughts, feelings and actions, and everything that happens is occurring for the unfoldment of your greatest good;<\/p>\n

2) Clear Intention<\/strong>\u2014become clear of what makes you happy, making choices accordingly and setting a clear intention that is in line with your life\u2019s purpose;<\/p>\n

3) Looking for Lessons<\/strong>\u2014acknowledge that every situation is an opportunity for growth and can be reframed in a positive and healing manner, which reminds me of John Barrie\u2019s quote, \u201cThe secret of happiness is not getting what you like, but liking what you get.\u201d;<\/p>\n

4) Appreciation<\/strong>\u2014actively appreciating your life and the people in it; practicing staying in the moment and having reverence for life as something extraordinary and invaluable;<\/p>\n

5) Honesty<\/strong>\u2014recognize your truth and speaking it with sensitivity and love;<\/p>\n

6) Compassion and Extension<\/strong>\u2014being willing to give from a place of beneficence without expectations or demands.<\/p>\n

Express the courage to choose happiness. As you let your own light shine, you give permission to others to be happy, too.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

* ***
\nDonna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife<\/em>.<\/a> She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE\u2122<\/a><\/p>\n

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by Laura Grace Happiness is inward and not outward; and so it does not depend on what we have, but on what we are. –Henry Van Dyke Happiness is our birthright. It\u2019s the goal of our life. Yes, there will be times when we will suffer, but some of the most influential and healing people…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":218,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[190,397,59,13],"class_list":["post-2153","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-inspiration","tag-celebrate","tag-change","tag-healing","tag-holistic-living"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Courage to Be Happy - The Queen of My Self<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/2016\/12\/courage-happy-2.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Courage to Be Happy - The Queen of My Self\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"by Laura Grace Happiness is inward and not outward; and so it does not depend on what we have, but on what we are. –Henry Van Dyke Happiness is our birthright. It\u2019s the goal of our life. Yes, there will be times when we will suffer, but some of the most influential and healing people…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/2016\/12\/courage-happy-2.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Queen of My Self\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-12-16T11:00:38+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2016-12-09T19:39:03+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Donna Henes\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"The Courage to Be Happy - The Queen of My Self","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/2016\/12\/courage-happy-2.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"The Courage to Be Happy - The Queen of My Self","og_description":"by Laura Grace Happiness is inward and not outward; and so it does not depend on what we have, but on what we are. –Henry Van Dyke Happiness is our birthright. It\u2019s the goal of our life. Yes, there will be times when we will suffer, but some of the most influential and healing people…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/2016\/12\/courage-happy-2.html","og_site_name":"The Queen of My Self","article_published_time":"2016-12-16T11:00:38+00:00","article_modified_time":"2016-12-09T19:39:03+00:00","author":"Donna Henes","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/2016\/12\/courage-happy-2.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/2016\/12\/courage-happy-2.html","name":"The Courage to Be Happy - The Queen of My Self","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/#website"},"datePublished":"2016-12-16T11:00:38+00:00","dateModified":"2016-12-09T19:39:03+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/#\/schema\/person\/544e888db264d2e1c6e32fd2f80c031a"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/2016\/12\/courage-happy-2.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/2016\/12\/courage-happy-2.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/2016\/12\/courage-happy-2.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"The Courage to Be Happy"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/","name":"The Queen of My Self","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Donna Henes","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/#\/schema\/person\/544e888db264d2e1c6e32fd2f80c031a","name":"Donna Henes","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/0c6\/0c683cd428803d35cf10fae85f8125ebx96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/0c6\/0c683cd428803d35cf10fae85f8125ebx96.jpg","caption":"Donna Henes"},"description":"Donna Henes is an internationally renowned urban shaman, ritual expert, award-winning author, popular speaker and workshop leader whose joyful celebrations of celestial events have introduced ancient traditional rituals and contemporary ceremonies to millions of people in more than 100 cities since 1972. She has published four books, a CD, an acclaimed Ezine and writes for The Huffington Post and UPI Religion and Spirituality Forum. Mama Donna, as she is affectionately called, maintains a ceremonial center, spirit shop, ritual practice and consultancy where she works with individuals, groups, institutions, municipalities and corporations to create meaningful ceremonies for every imaginable occasion.","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.thequeenofmyself.com"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/author\/dhenes"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2153","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/218"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2153"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2153\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2154,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2153\/revisions\/2154"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2153"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2153"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2153"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}