{"id":1723,"date":"2015-04-01T06:00:52","date_gmt":"2015-04-01T10:00:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/?p=1723"},"modified":"2015-03-20T14:34:04","modified_gmt":"2015-03-20T18:34:04","slug":"the-queen-of-excuses","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/2015\/04\/the-queen-of-excuses.html","title":{"rendered":"The Queen of Excuses"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Carol Nissenbaum<\/a><\/p>\n

My favorite episode of The Twilight Zone featured Burgess Meredith as a man who longed to read all the books in the world, but didn\u2019t have the time. I was young and don\u2019t remember the whole thing, but the upshot of the story was that the world came to an end and the man was left all alone with every book in the world. Thus he got his wish, but the episode ended with his reading glasses suddenly shattering. The irony of this ending had a great impact on me, even to this day.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m the queen of excuses (although I\u2019m also frequently referred to as \u201cCaptain Sarcasm\u201d at home). The clutter in my house is epic, but if I didn\u2019t have to work it would be gone. My body is out of shape and I never exercise; if I didn\u2019t have to work I\u2019d be a workout fool. I have 36 unread books waiting for me on my Kindle; if I didn\u2019t have to wake up at the crack of dawn I\u2019d have read them all. The laundry in my house is out of control; the clothes might actually get hung up in the closet instead of being snatched from the \u201cclean\u201d basket if I didn\u2019t have to work, etc. All I need is some time. Time is all I need. I work full-time; I wake up at 6:00 each morning. No time.<\/p>\n

Well, be careful what you wish for and all that. Due to an unfortunate reorganization at my former company, my job was recently outsourced and I was laid off (on April Fools\u2019 Day, no less) with a nice severance package. I now find myself with that most precious of gifts: time. Time off. Unallotted, unscheduled time. I can sleep as late as I want. I can exercise, eat properly, and get in shape for summer. I can eliminate all the laundry piled up, maybe even iron occasionally (yeah right). I can plant the beautiful garden I\u2019ve long imagined, instead of impatiently waiting for the landscaper to plant impatiens again. I can sit on my porch in the beautiful weather and read as much as I want. Yup, I can do it all. Or can I?<\/p>\n

Much like Burgess Meredith in The Twilight Zone, everything I thought I wanted has suddenly landed in my lap. And much like him, I am unable to take advantage of the opportunity. It\u2019s not a pair of broken glasses that has me paralyzed, it\u2019s that I\u2019ve suddenly lost the crutch I\u2019ve leaned on for so long. I have no excuse anymore for why my house is still a mess. I have no excuse for why I\u2019ve only walked the dog once. No excuse for why the laundry is still piled up (although I swear the socks get together and multiply at night). This \u201cfree time\u201d thing is not working out at all as I had planned and I HAVE NO EXCUSE.<\/p>\n

The interior of my house needs a paint job desperately. The carpet, once off-white, is now just off in several spots. My dog occasionally throws up, as some dogs do, and she always chooses the carpet to unload, and never in the same spot twice. So it is stained and threadbare, and woefully in need of replacement. We planned to finish the hardwood floors beneath it and get a paint job \u201ceventually.\u201d Well, eventually has arrived and I\u2019ve yet to even make a phone call or get a single estimate, although I have complained about its condition for years.<\/p>\n

Yesterday was a picture-perfect day for planting the summer-flowering bulbs and multicolored pansies I envisioned in my garden. Only problem is, those plants are still waiting at a nursery because I haven\u2019t even bought them yet. It\u2019s as if inertia has taken hold of me and made it impossible for me to move forward. I blamed it on the weather last week, as it was depressingly gray and dreary. But warm, sunny days are forecast and I doubt that sunshine will suddenly give me the motivation to get off the couch.<\/p>\n

So, what\u2019s ahead? I\u2019m not sure, and that\u2019s where the problem lies. I hope I can take control of this gift of unscheduled, uncommitted time before it slips away. I couldn\u2019t wait to break free of my foam-walled cubicle, which made me feel like a rat in a maze, but without its confines I truly don\u2019t know what my next move should be. I feel like a victim of identity theft without my full-time job. It\u2019s only been a little over a week, a period which will be remembered forever as \u201cWallow Week\u201d by my family. I hope I can turn this time into something exciting; this is a chance to reinvent myself, which is at once exhilarating and terrifying (mostly terrifying). Maybe I should get a spare pair of glasses?
\n* ***
\nDonna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife<\/em>.<\/a> She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE\u2122<\/a><\/p>\n

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Carol Nissenbaum My favorite episode of The Twilight Zone featured Burgess Meredith as a man who longed to read all the books in the world, but didn\u2019t have the time. 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