{"id":1349,"date":"2014-05-19T06:00:55","date_gmt":"2014-05-19T10:00:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/?p=1349"},"modified":"2014-05-09T16:54:31","modified_gmt":"2014-05-09T20:54:31","slug":"queen-of-all-that-is-imperfect","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/2014\/05\/queen-of-all-that-is-imperfect.html","title":{"rendered":"Queen of All That is Imperfect"},"content":{"rendered":"

Just a few days ago I wrote, \u201cThe word \u2018practice\u2019 also serves to remind us that there is no perfect. Whether we maintain a spiritual practice, a creative practice or a professional practice, we are always in the process of learning, adapting, accommodating, growing and changing. The only end comes when we die. In the meantime, all we have is the means, the very process of living, itself. We try, we move forward, we trip, we fall behind, we start again, and eventually we become, while not perfect, perfectly wonderful Queens.\u201d<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

No sooner did I post it than I received the following piece by Wendi Knox, a Queen from California. I just love the synchronicity, not to mention the sentiment. Being of the Virgo persuasion, it really hit home.<\/i><\/p>\n

Calling All Perfectionists
\n<\/strong>
\n The difference between imperfect and I’m perfect is just an apostrophe.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

In my next life, I hope to come back as an imperfectionist.<\/p>\n

Maybe I won\u2019t have Virgo rising. A father who color-coordinates his sock drawer. Or a mother whose handwriting looks like it belongs in a penmanship book.<\/span><\/p>\n

Naturally, I rebelled with messy drawers and sloppy handwriting.<\/span><\/p>\n

But I did develop a \u201cgood enough isn\u2019t good enough\u201d self-flagellation system.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you\u2019re like me, you grew up believing you could (and should) have it all.<\/span><\/p>\n

The Perfect Job. The Perfect Marriage. The Perfect Family. The Perfect Body. (The Perfect Breakdown?)<\/span><\/p>\n

We measure our human selves against some airbrushed version of life with Jen\u2019s hair, Angelina\u2019s lips and Martha\u2019s culinary skills.<\/span><\/p>\n

I think so many of us love Oprah because she\u2019s dared to share her imperfections. No matter how many schools she builds or cars she gives away, Oprah\u2019s the first to admit, that she\u2019s still carrying the weight of\u00a0 a sad and abusive childhood.<\/span><\/p>\n

Speaking of weight, I know I could afford to lose a few.<\/span><\/p>\n

But even at my skinniest, I still obsessed about some part of me that could have been more this or less that.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, these days, my mission is to learn to love myself just the way I am. Of course, it\u2019s not easy being kind to every new wrinkle or grey strand that shows up in the mirror.<\/span><\/p>\n

But since I believe the world is a mirror of how we treat ourselves, I\u2019m trying to be as nice to Me as I am to everyone else.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, when I looked in the mirror today, I actually focused on the color of my eyes (instead of the dark circles under them).<\/span><\/p>\n

And last night, I even gave my hair a compliment.<\/span><\/p>\n

Guess what \u2014 on days when I say kind things to myself, life feels kinder to me.<\/span><\/p>\n

Instead of constantly comparing myself to the latest cover girl, I try to remember these words from my wise friend Heather:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIf the goddess were living here on earth, how would she carry herself?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Hmmm\u2026would she starve herself to squeeze into a size 2 pair of jeans?<\/span><\/p>\n

Would she inject her laugh lines with Botox?<\/span><\/p>\n

Or would she accept and love her womanly curves and nurture her miraculous body with delicious, nutritious food, enjoying every morsel of it?<\/span><\/p>\n

Okay, I admit that I\u2019m not totally there yet.<\/span><\/p>\n

But each day, I do have a little more self-love than I did the day before.<\/span><\/p>\n

And on those days when my inner Gestapo (a.k.a. Edna) starts berating me and my imperfections, I take a deep breath and put on my walking shoes.<\/span><\/p>\n

As I pass each front yard, I\u2019m reminded that there\u2019s all kinds of beauty in the Flower Garden of Life.<\/span><\/p>\n

Does a daisy strive to be as exotic as a hibiscus?<\/span><\/p>\n

Does a hot pink zinnia wonder if it\u2019s \u201ctoo much\u201d compared to an elegant white cow lily?<\/span><\/p>\n

Does a voluptuous rose in full bloom envy a tiny, delicate bud?<\/span><\/p>\n

Okay, you get the point.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now, please oh please, do me one little favor.<\/span><\/p>\n

Before I re-write this thing for the fifth time, tell me something about Perfectly Imperfect You. (Or is it Imperfectly Perfect You?)<\/span><\/p>\n

Whichever.<\/span><\/p>\n

Wendi Knox
\n<\/span>Oh My Goddess Bloggess<\/a>
\n<\/a><\/p>\n

I second that motion. Please do share with us, your sister Queens, your perfect imperfection.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

* ***
\n<\/span>Donna Henes is the author of <\/span>The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife<\/em>.<\/a> She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. <\/span>Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE\u2122<\/a><\/p>\n

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to <\/span>thequeenofmyself@aol.com<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Just a few days ago I wrote, \u201cThe word \u2018practice\u2019 also serves to remind us that there is no perfect. Whether we maintain a spiritual practice, a creative practice or a professional practice, we are always in the process of learning, adapting, accommodating, growing and changing. The only end comes when we die. In the…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":218,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,1,4,2,5,7,6,11,3],"tags":[194,190,103,40,13,43,68,258],"class_list":["post-1349","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-aging","category-empowerment","category-goddess","category-inspiration","category-midlife","category-self-esteem","category-spirituality","category-wisdom","category-womens-issues","tag-beauty","tag-celebrate","tag-compassion","tag-empowerment-2","tag-holistic-living","tag-self-esteem-2","tag-self-love","tag-unconditional-love"],"yoast_head":"\nQueen of All That is Imperfect - The Queen of My Self<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/2014\/05\/queen-of-all-that-is-imperfect.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Queen of All That is Imperfect - The Queen of My Self\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Just a few days ago I wrote, \u201cThe word \u2018practice\u2019 also serves to remind us that there is no perfect. Whether we maintain a spiritual practice, a creative practice or a professional practice, we are always in the process of learning, adapting, accommodating, growing and changing. The only end comes when we die. In the…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/2014\/05\/queen-of-all-that-is-imperfect.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Queen of My Self\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2014-05-19T10:00:55+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2014-05-09T20:54:31+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Donna Henes\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Queen of All That is Imperfect - The Queen of My Self","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/2014\/05\/queen-of-all-that-is-imperfect.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Queen of All That is Imperfect - The Queen of My Self","og_description":"Just a few days ago I wrote, \u201cThe word \u2018practice\u2019 also serves to remind us that there is no perfect. Whether we maintain a spiritual practice, a creative practice or a professional practice, we are always in the process of learning, adapting, accommodating, growing and changing. The only end comes when we die. In the…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/2014\/05\/queen-of-all-that-is-imperfect.html","og_site_name":"The Queen of My Self","article_published_time":"2014-05-19T10:00:55+00:00","article_modified_time":"2014-05-09T20:54:31+00:00","author":"Donna Henes","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/2014\/05\/queen-of-all-that-is-imperfect.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/2014\/05\/queen-of-all-that-is-imperfect.html","name":"Queen of All That is Imperfect - The Queen of My Self","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/#website"},"datePublished":"2014-05-19T10:00:55+00:00","dateModified":"2014-05-09T20:54:31+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/#\/schema\/person\/544e888db264d2e1c6e32fd2f80c031a"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/2014\/05\/queen-of-all-that-is-imperfect.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/2014\/05\/queen-of-all-that-is-imperfect.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/2014\/05\/queen-of-all-that-is-imperfect.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Queen of All That is Imperfect"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/","name":"The Queen of My Self","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Donna Henes","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/#\/schema\/person\/544e888db264d2e1c6e32fd2f80c031a","name":"Donna Henes","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/0c6\/0c683cd428803d35cf10fae85f8125ebx96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/0c6\/0c683cd428803d35cf10fae85f8125ebx96.jpg","caption":"Donna Henes"},"description":"Donna Henes is an internationally renowned urban shaman, ritual expert, award-winning author, popular speaker and workshop leader whose joyful celebrations of celestial events have introduced ancient traditional rituals and contemporary ceremonies to millions of people in more than 100 cities since 1972. She has published four books, a CD, an acclaimed Ezine and writes for The Huffington Post and UPI Religion and Spirituality Forum. Mama Donna, as she is affectionately called, maintains a ceremonial center, spirit shop, ritual practice and consultancy where she works with individuals, groups, institutions, municipalities and corporations to create meaningful ceremonies for every imaginable occasion.","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.thequeenofmyself.com"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/author\/dhenes"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1349","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/218"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1349"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1349\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1351,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1349\/revisions\/1351"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1349"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1349"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1349"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}