{"id":1212,"date":"2013-03-27T06:00:56","date_gmt":"2013-03-27T10:00:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/thequeenofmyself\/?p=1212"},"modified":"2013-03-06T22:41:24","modified_gmt":"2013-03-07T03:41:24","slug":"auntie-gravity-part-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/2013\/03\/auntie-gravity-part-1.html","title":{"rendered":"Auntie Gravity \u2013 Part 1"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Auntie Gravity \u2013 Part 1<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong> An Antic Cronish Goddess<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>by <a href=\"http:\/\/www.barbaraardinger.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">Barbara Ardinger, Ph.D.<\/a>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>Here is a goddess for mid-life.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Sisters, do certain parts of your anatomy that used to stand right up and salute, now ignore the flag no matter now vigorously it\u2019s waving? Is &#8220;perky&#8221; a word whose meaning passed you by a decade ago? From behind, do you look like you\u2019re sitting down even when you\u2019re standing up? Does it require a crane and two body-builders to lift you out of a deep knee bend?<\/p>\n<p>If you answered &#8220;yes&#8221; to these questions, relax\u2014you\u2019ve been visited by our beloved Auntie Gravity, a cronish goddess Who pulls our bodies ever closer to our Mother Earth even as She lifts our spirits. Like some kind of cosmic elevator operator, Auntie Gravity dares to speak out loud the proper locations of ladies lingerie, housewares, better dresses, and the tea room. Auntie Gravity wears good cotton underwear, cooks as seldom as possible, dresses in purple (and then some), and eats and drinks what she wants to eat and drink. She lives in the present moment and tells it like it really is.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Gal,&#8221; She says, giving you Her famous Look, &#8220;where you livin\u2019 at? The past is dead and gone. Sure, you\u2019ve lived through quite a lot. But how good was the good ol\u2019 days, really? How good was it, back then? Gal, you livin\u2019 today. You deserve some respect for your long life. You got survivalocity, big-time. Don\u2019t you forget that. An\u2019 don\u2019t you let no one else forget it, either.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Your face look like a road map?&#8221; Auntie Gravity says. &#8220;Well, jus\u2019 you remember\u2014all them lines come from some place significant. You been places and you done stuff\u2014you wanna trade places with some skinny, smooth-faced child who don\u2019t know nothin\u2019? Each one a them lines is a line in the poem of your life, and maybe yours is an epic poem. Ever thought about that? Hmmm? Not all epics gotta be about men wavin\u2019 phallic symbols an\u2019 conquerin\u2019 folks. Hmmm?<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;What you done in your long life?&#8221; She asks, and She pokes Her pointy finger at your heart, &#8220;what you proud of? What you ashamed of? What you learned? What you got to tell the young \u2018uns? Gal, you got wisdom you don\u2019t even remember you got. What you gotta do is, you gotta pass it around. You hear Me? Pass it around, what you know, what you\u2019ve learned. Help bring up some little sisters in the proper fashion.<\/p>\n<p>Tomorrow: Auntie Gravity \u2013 Part 2<\/p>\n<p>*****<\/p>\n<p>Donna Henes is the author of <a href=\"http:\/\/www.thequeenofmyself.com\"><em>The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife<\/em><\/a>. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. <a href=\"http:\/\/www.donnahenes.net\/queen\/consult.shtml\">Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE\u2122<\/a><\/p>\n<p>The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to <a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/thequeenofmyself\/wp-admin\/thequeenofmyself@aol.com\">thequeenofmyself@aol.com.<\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Tomorrow: Auntie Gravity \u2013 Part 2<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>*****<\/p>\n<p>Donna Henes is the author of <a href=\"http:\/\/www.thequeenofmyself.com\"><em>The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife<\/em><\/a>. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. <a href=\"http:\/\/www.donnahenes.net\/queen\/consult.shtml\">Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE\u2122<\/a><\/p>\n<p>The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to <a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/thequeenofmyself\/wp-admin\/thequeenofmyself@aol.com\">thequeenofmyself@aol.com.<\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; Auntie Gravity \u2013 Part 1 An Antic Cronish Goddess by Barbara Ardinger, Ph.D.\u00a0 Here is a goddess for mid-life. Sisters, do certain parts of your anatomy that used to stand right up and salute, now ignore the flag no matter now vigorously it\u2019s waving? Is &#8220;perky&#8221; a word whose meaning passed you by a&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":218,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,4,10],"tags":[397,13,188,200,178,280,39,42,18,44,43,68,60],"class_list":["post-1212","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-aging","category-goddess","category-humor","tag-change","tag-holistic-living","tag-maturity","tag-midlife-crisis","tag-older-women","tag-passion","tag-power","tag-powerful-women","tag-queen","tag-self-confidence","tag-self-esteem-2","tag-self-love","tag-transformation"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Auntie Gravity \u2013 Part 1 - The Queen of My Self<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thequeenofmyself\/2013\/03\/auntie-gravity-part-1.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Auntie Gravity \u2013 Part 1 - The Queen of My Self\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"&nbsp; Auntie Gravity \u2013 Part 1 An Antic Cronish Goddess by Barbara Ardinger, Ph.D.\u00a0 Here is a goddess for mid-life. Sisters, do certain parts of your anatomy that used to stand right up and salute, now ignore the flag no matter now vigorously it\u2019s waving? 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Sisters, do certain parts of your anatomy that used to stand right up and salute, now ignore the flag no matter now vigorously it\u2019s waving? 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