{"id":165,"date":"2019-05-30T05:07:15","date_gmt":"2019-05-30T05:07:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thepowerofpositivedoing\/?p=165"},"modified":"2019-05-30T05:07:15","modified_gmt":"2019-05-30T05:07:15","slug":"a-complaint-is-a-gift","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thepowerofpositivedoing\/2019\/05\/a-complaint-is-a-gift.html","title":{"rendered":"A Complaint Is … a GIFT"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cWhat a concept!\u201d I marveled to myself as I read my friend Janelle Barlow\u2019s book, A Complaint is a Gift.<\/em><\/a>\u00a0 It\u2019s a business book about customer service and the importance of getting feedback \u2013 especially negative feedback \u2013 from customers.\u00a0 Janelle asserts that complaints are not problems to be avoided \u2013 complaints are actually gifts<\/em> to be welcomed. \u00a0What a radical way to think about complaints!<\/p>\n

Complaints are important for several reasons:<\/p>\n

\u2022 You don\u2019t know how to improve your product or service if you don\u2019t know what\u2019s wrong.
\n\u2022 Customer complaints can give you ideas for new products and services.
\n\u2022 Complaints give you valuable information about what\u2019s important to people, what they\u2019re willing to spend money on.<\/p>\n

Complaints also tell you that the customer still wants to do business with you \u2013 she still cares about the relationship she has with your company and she wants you to fix the problem so she can continue to do business with you.\u00a0 Most customers don\u2019t complain \u2013 they just take their business elsewhere \u2013 because they\u2019ve given up hope of getting what they need from you.<\/p>\n

The problem is, most people think that customer complaints are bad.<\/em> They mistakenly think that no complaints means no problems. But as long as you\u2019re in business, you will always have problems \u2013 it\u2019s part and parcel of doing business.\u00a0 The important thing to focus on is how you handle those problems when they occur.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s why a complaint is really a gift. Just as\u00a0we thank someone who gives us a birthday gift, we should thank someone who brings us a complaint.\u00a0 They have given us something valuable, something useful, something that can help make our business stronger and more profitable \u2013 and we should treat their complaint as the gift that it really is.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is a great concept,\u201d I kept thinking as I read her book.\u00a0 \u201cAnd what\u2019s more, it applies not only to business, but to personal<\/em> relationships as well.\u201d<\/p>\n

I thought about all the different ways that complaints come into our lives:\u00a0 our parents complain about some aspect of our behavior; our lovers complain when they feel neglected; our friends complain if we have a misunderstanding; our neighbors complain about a problem with our home; our children complain if they need something from us that we haven\u2019t provided.\u00a0 Complaints are simply a normal part of what it means to live in relationships with other people.<\/p>\n

After reading Janelle\u2019s book, I started reacting differently when someone in my life complained to me.\u00a0 Of course, sometimes I would forget that a complaint is a gift, and I reacted defensively.\u00a0 But when I could catch myself \u2013 and remind myself that a complaint is a gift \u2013 I could make the interaction a learning experience rather than a battle.\u00a0 I could use their complaint to make our relationship better,<\/em> rather than let the complaint tear us apart.<\/p>\n

If someone in my life has a complaint about me, I am\u00a0reassured that at least they are still talking to me.\u00a0 That tells me that they still care about our relationship and want to make it better.\u00a0 If they stop<\/em> talking to me, that\u2019s when I should worry …\u00a0it means they\u2019ve given up on our relationship.<\/p>\n

\"complaining\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Here’s how I\u00a0treat complaints as gifts in my personal life:<\/p>\n

1. I thank the person for his complaint.\u00a0 I tell him how much I appreciate his taking the time to tell me about his problem
\n2. I tell him why I\u2019m thanking him \u2013 because I care about our relationship and his complaint gave me an opportunity to address anything that isn\u2019t working between us.
\n3. I apologize for the fact that he is unhappy. \u00a0(Note:\u00a0 I don\u2019t assume guilt or say that it is my fault, I simply say, \u201cI\u2019m sorry you\u2019re unhappy about this.\u201d)
\n4. I promise to do whatever I can to solve the problem.
\n5. I sometimes ask for more information or clarification or specifics, so that I can fully understand his unhappiness.
\n6. I take whatever steps I can to correct the problem \u2013 focusing on things that are within my control. If it\u2019s something out of my control, I explain that.\u00a0 If it is something that really has nothing to do with me at all, this is the point in the discussion when we are most likely to discover that.
\n7. I ask him if he feels his complaint is being addressed. If not, we go back to the beginning of the process.
\n8. I try to learn from the situation \u2013 I learn new things about myself, about him, and about our relationship.<\/p>\n

And most important of all, I always emphasize what I can<\/em> do, rather than what I can\u2019t.\u00a0 I look for what is possible<\/em>, rather than telling him what is impossible.\u00a0 Pointing out what I can\u2019t do simply makes us both more frustrated.<\/p>\n

This \u201ccomplaint is a gift\u201d notion is not one that comes naturally to me \u2013 nor to anyone.\u00a0 No one likes to hear negative feedback, particularly from people we care about.\u00a0 But if we can hear what\u2019s behind the complaint \u2013 the desire to fix something that\u2019s hurting the other person \u2013 then we can see how their complaint really is<\/em> a gift!<\/p>\n

\""A<\/a>
“A Complaint Is a Gift” by Janelle Barlow and Claus M\u00f8ller<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cWhat a concept!\u201d I marveled to myself as I read my friend Janelle Barlow\u2019s book, A Complaint is a Gift.\u00a0 It\u2019s a business book about customer service and the importance of getting feedback \u2013 especially negative feedback \u2013 from customers.\u00a0 Janelle asserts that complaints are not problems to be avoided \u2013 complaints are actually gifts…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":434,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[171,170,168,169,173,175,174,172],"class_list":["post-165","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-complaining-kids","tag-complaining-spouse","tag-complaints","tag-customer-complaints","tag-dissatisfaction","tag-feedback","tag-lovers-quarrel","tag-unhappiness"],"yoast_head":"\nA Complaint Is ... a GIFT - The Power of Positive Doing<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"\u201cThis is a great concept ... and what\u2019s more, it applies not only to business, but to personal relationships as well.\u201d\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thepowerofpositivedoing\/2019\/05\/a-complaint-is-a-gift.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"A Complaint Is ... a GIFT - 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