{"id":161,"date":"2019-05-15T00:11:00","date_gmt":"2019-05-15T00:11:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thepowerofpositivedoing\/?p=161"},"modified":"2019-05-15T00:12:34","modified_gmt":"2019-05-15T00:12:34","slug":"dogs-respond-best-to-training-with-love-just-like-people","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thepowerofpositivedoing\/2019\/05\/dogs-respond-best-to-training-with-love-just-like-people.html","title":{"rendered":"Dogs Respond Best to Training with Love … Just Like People"},"content":{"rendered":"

At age 51 I adopted my first dog. I’d always been a cat person, but having witnessed so many wonderful relationships my friends had with their dogs, I decided to get one myself. After months visiting local shelters to find the right canine companion for me, I finally found her. She had a funny face, so I named her Fannie (funny face = funny girl = Fanny Brice = Fannie).<\/p>\n

\"BJ&Fannie\"<\/a><\/p>\n

A few weeks after I adopted her, we were out for our morning walk and a passing car slowed down, then stopped next to us. The driver rolled down his window and complimented me on my cute dog. I didn’t know him, but I’d seen him around the neighborhood a few times and knew he lived nearby.<\/p>\n

As we chatted about the dog, I told him that I had enrolled her in ten weeks of puppy training. I was committed to being a good dog mom, so training was at the top of my list. The man smiled and said, “That’s great. Just remember one thing: Dogs respond best to training with love … just like people.”<\/p>\n

His words echoed in my mind as we said our good-byes and he drove away. It was like a message from the Universe \u2013 just for me: “Dogs respond best to training with love … just like people.”<\/p>\n

Of course,<\/em> I thought to myself, I would never yell at my puppy, or yank her around on the leash, or kick her, or be mean in anyway. I would teach her with patience, compassion, and loving firmness. So why would I do any less for myself? Could I treat myself with the same loving kindness with which I treated my dog?<\/em><\/p>\n

Huh! What a concept!<\/p>\n

My whole life, I’d always been hard on myself \u2013 setting high standards, working hard to be perfect, and always self-critical when I fell short of my goals or made a mistake. I would berate myself harshly.<\/p>\n

So I had to ask myself: Did all that scolding ever achieve the result I wanted?<\/em><\/p>\n

No. It didn’t. My punitive self-judgment just filled me with guilt and shame.<\/p>\n

But that day, walking my dog and talking with my neighbor \u2013 changed all that. His comment about “training with love” was a clarion call \u2013 loud and clear \u2013 to treat myself with the same patience, compassion, and love that I showed my sweet pup.<\/p>\n

The wise words of my kind neighbor changed how I treat myself. Today, I train my mind with love. I change my bad habits and develop new habits, with love. I train myself with love.<\/p>\n

\"Talk<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

At age 51 I adopted my first dog. I’d always been a cat person, but having witnessed so many wonderful relationships my friends had with their dogs, I decided to get one myself. After months visiting local shelters to find the right canine companion for me, I finally found her. She had a funny face,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":434,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[71,165,123,166,113,167,63],"class_list":["post-161","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-compassion","tag-dog-training","tag-dogs","tag-inner-critic","tag-love","tag-self-judgment","tag-self-talk"],"yoast_head":"\nDogs Respond Best to Training with Love ... 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She is quoted almost weekly in various newspapers, women\u2019s magazines, and websites including O the Oprah magazine, Redbook, Woman\u2019s World, Ladies Home Journal, First for Women, Time, Wall Street Journal, New York Times, Chicago Tribune, Hartford Courant, Denver Post, Los Angeles Times, Christian Science Monitor, Orlando Sentinel, Seattle Post-Intelligencer, and MSNBC.com, among others. BJ also conducts seminars and workshops. Her clients include: IBM, Chevron, Nissan, John Deere Credit Canada, Volkswagen, Farm Credit Services of America, Raytheon, Marathon Realty (Canada), U.S. Department of Interior, Veterans Administration, among others. 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