I called my friend Sam Beasley to complain about the injustice: \u201cI just got word that my friend Kathryn has been diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer. She\u2019s only 68 years old. She\u2019s been sober for 30 years; she hasn\u2019t had a cigarette in 29 years; and she hasn\u2019t eaten sugar for 28 years. She flosses after every meal and her teeth are perfect. She\u2019s trim and athletic. She and her husband go biking very weekend. Their summer vacations are biking across Europe with friends. She\u2019s done everything right and still \u2013 still, she gets cancer!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo, let me ask you a question,\u201d Sam said. \u201cAre you her Higher Power? Are you her God?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, no.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut what you\u2019re telling me is that you want to overrule her Higher Power,\u201d Sam said. \u201cYou think YOU know what\u2019s right for Kathryn.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUh \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFor all we know, this might just be the best year of her life!\u201d Sam said.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh. I hadn\u2019t thought of it like that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMost people don\u2019t,\u201d Sam continued. \u201cIn fact, your friend Kathryn probably isn\u2019t thinking about it like that either. But the truth is, we don\u2019t know that the cancer just might come bearing gifts \u2026 and that this last year of her life might very well be the best.\u201d<\/p>\n
Could Sam be right? Kathryn had expressed many worries, concerns, and complaints over the ten years that I knew her. Chief among them was the absence of an exit strategy from the high-stress business she owned. She often complained that her husband John was not sufficiently sensitive to her emotional needs. She said she felt lonely much of the time and had no close friends. And she fretted about her two daughters: Chloe was overweight and Dianne wasn\u2019t interested in getting married. Kathryn lamented the lack of grandchildren. Clearly, hers wasn\u2019t the picture-perfect family Kathryn thought it ought to be.<\/p>\n
Underling her concerns and complaints was a chronic refrain of fear and mistrust. Kathryn said she had a hard time trusting people. Myriad fears haunted her daily life: fear that her business wasn\u2019t making enough money, fear that she\u2019d miss a deadline or make a mistake; fear of what others thought of her; fear of abandonment; fears for her daughters\u2019 happiness \u2026 her fears seemed endless.<\/p>\n
To any outside observer, these worries seemed baseless and irrational. Kathryn was a wealthy woman with a long marriage to a handsome, successful man; she had two lovely homes; she leased a new Mercedes every three years; her daughters were talented, attractive, and smart; and her family enjoyed a lifestyle anyone would envy. But the fears were still there \u2013 they had nothing to do with objective conditions.<\/p>\n
Within the first week of her diagnosis, all that began to change. Kathryn\u2019s husband took a leave of absence from his work and devoted himself to caring for her. He moved her business out of their home and put it up for sale while she was in hospital, so when she came home all she had to do was focus on her health.<\/p>\n
When I went to visit her in the hospital, I expected to find her crying and fearful \u2013 her usual response to anything bad. But the Kathryn who greeted me from her hospital bed was relaxed and glowing. Her room was filled with flowers, cards, and balloons. Her entire family was gathered there with her \u2013 her husband John, daughters Chloe and Dianne, her sister Suzanne and Suzanne\u2019s fianc\u00e9. Kathryn was basking in their love and attention. She told me that she felt peaceful and serene, trusting God that all would be well.<\/p>\n
For the next seven months, Kathryn\u2019s life looked like the solar system \u2013 with Kathryn as the sun \u2013 family and friends orbiting around her. She received calls and visitors daily. John doted on her. Chloe was at the house every day and Kathryn\u2019s sister Suzanne came frequently, too. Dianne got married and Kathryn rallied to participate in the wedding. The happy couple got pregnant, fulfilling one of Kathryn\u2019s fondest wishes \u2013 for a grandchild. With her business gone, Kathryn had the time and money to do anything she wanted \u2013 with her devoted husband by her side. They went on outings to the local arboretum and gardens, museums, movies, and their weekend home up the coast.<\/p>\n
I think back on what my friend Sam had told me: This might very well be the best year of Kathryn\u2019s life. From all appearances, it was. Her cares and concerns of previous years simply disappeared \u2013 along with the fear that had gripped her. Her final months were filled with love, laughter, lively conversations, companionship, holidays and special occasions with her family, and treasured moments with loving friends. Kathryn got everything she\u2019d ever wanted.<\/p>\n
As is often the way with us humans, Kathryn finally realized that much of what she thought was missing had actually been there all along. In the words of French writer Colette: \u201cWhat a wonderful life I\u2019ve had! I only wish I\u2019d realized it sooner.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cancer had come into Kathryn\u2019s life \u2013 bearing gifts. Best of these were the gifts of serenity and peace of mind.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I called my friend Sam Beasley to complain about the injustice: \u201cI just got word that my friend Kathryn has been diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer. She\u2019s only 68 years old. She\u2019s been sober for 30 years; she hasn\u2019t had a cigarette in 29 years; and she hasn\u2019t eaten sugar for 28 years. She…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":434,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[22,5,23,24,25,6],"class_list":["post-15","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-cancer","tag-faith","tag-grace","tag-gratitude","tag-pancreatic-cancer","tag-trust"],"yoast_head":"\n