{"id":1196,"date":"2010-03-23T00:42:04","date_gmt":"2010-03-23T00:42:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/theirbadmother\/2010\/03\/the-fragrance-the-violet-sheds.html"},"modified":"2010-03-23T00:42:04","modified_gmt":"2010-03-23T00:42:04","slug":"the-fragrance-the-violet-sheds","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/theirbadmother\/2010\/03\/the-fragrance-the-violet-sheds.html","title":{"rendered":"The Fragrance The Violet Sheds"},"content":{"rendered":"

Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.  ~Mark Twain<\/i><\/p>\n

My mother recently broke her blog silence to write about being betrayed by her brother. It’s a long story; you can read about it at her blog<\/a>.<\/p>\n

What I’m struggling with, vis-a-vis<\/i> her story, is this: her unwillingness to even consider forgiving her brother, ever. I’m struggling with this, because although I fear that her unwillingness to forgive will become an albatross around her neck and that it will, someday, choke her, I also understand just how total and absolute is her anger and hurt, and I don’t know how I would let it go, if I were her.<\/p>\n

Her words:<\/p>\n

My husband, my friends, and my children have said that I have to let
\nit go – that I should ask God’s help in forgiving my brother if I am
\never to find peace in my soul. I have done a lot of soul searching
\nabout that. I have had a lot of conversations with God – probably
\none-way, because I am not prepared to listen to what I know he would
\nsay. I have decided that I will never forgive my brother. He is now
\ndead to me. I do not have a brother.<\/i><\/p>\n

She knows that God would tell her to forgive, that God does tell her to forgive. But she does not want to listen. And I get that, I really do. But I still fear for her, for her ability to go forward peacefully, if she doesn’t forgive.<\/p>\n

How does one counsel forgiveness, when one isn’t certain that one could find forgiveness in her own heart?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.  ~Mark Twain My mother recently broke her blog silence to write about being betrayed by her brother. It’s a long story; you can read about it at her blog. 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