{"id":1181,"date":"2010-02-23T12:24:27","date_gmt":"2010-02-23T12:24:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/theirbadmother\/2010\/02\/lets-bring-compassion-into-the-abortion-debate.html"},"modified":"2010-02-23T12:24:27","modified_gmt":"2010-02-23T12:24:27","slug":"lets-bring-compassion-into-the-abortion-debate","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/theirbadmother\/2010\/02\/lets-bring-compassion-into-the-abortion-debate.html","title":{"rendered":"Let’s Bring Compassion Into The Abortion Debate"},"content":{"rendered":"

I don’t expect everyone to agree about abortion. I find it
\ndifficult enough, as someone who is emphatically pro-choice but deeply ambivalent<\/a> about her own experience<\/a>,
\nto come to any clear terms (beyond believing that women’s freedom of
\nchoice must remain a paramount concern) on the issue myself. So when I
\nwrite about abortion, I’m not doing so to convert anyone to my way of
\nthinking, if I could even figure out what that way of thinking is. I’m
\ndoing it to advance, in whatever limited way that I can, the cause of
\ncompassion, compassion toward the women who face these decisions and
\nmake these decisions and live with these decisions and who need
\ncompassion, badly.<\/p>\n

Let me stop you right there – you who are about to protest (yes, I see you) – you don’t need to remind me of the
\nargument that, when we’re talking about abortion, there’s another life
\nform deserving of compassion. I’m aware of that argument, and I have some sympathy for it. But I’m not interested, at the moment, in
\ndebating the relative weights of deserved compassion here. I’m
\ninterested in talking about the need for compassion toward and care of
\nwomen who do<\/i> terminate pregnancies, and would argue strenuously
\nagainst any argument that holds that compassion and care should be
\ndenied to those women. There is no hope for any civil and constructive
\ndiscussion on this issue so long as we deny that abortion is, for most
\nwomen, a difficult thing and so long as those women are denied any
\nmeasure of sympathy. You can disapprove of abortion, I think, and still
\nhold a woman’s hand as she makes her way through it, or at least
\nsupport that woman’s need to have her hand held and hair stroked and be
\ntreated with gentleness and kindness. My own mother did this.<\/a> It has made all the difference. All<\/i> the difference.<\/p>\n

I wrote, last week, about this need for compassion – and what some women are doing to address it – over at BlogHer<\/a>.
\nThere’s a tiny but important movement of caregivers working toward
\nbringing compassion to women undergoing terminations of pregnancies,
\nand I argue in the post that it’s a potentially very powerful<\/i> movement,
\ninasmuch as it broadens our understanding of reproductive care (perhaps
\nwe should have doulas for women going through miscarriages and
\nhysterectomies and other reproductive tragedies and challenges, no?)
\nand encourages us to recognize and acknowledge that abortions are not
\npedicures and that the women who undergo them need support and care and
\n– and<\/i> – compassion. It’s tremendous, I think. It brings sympathy to the table in this discussion. That’s important, I think, no matter where you stand.<\/p>\n

Anyway. You can read it at BlogHer<\/a>. I’d love it if you would. Just, you know, be gentle and civil and respectful. Because civil, respectful, gentle discourse is always good, no matter what. Someone should maybe have told Bob Marshall that<\/a>.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I don’t expect everyone to agree about abortion. I find it difficult enough, as someone who is emphatically pro-choice but deeply ambivalent about her own experience, to come to any clear terms (beyond believing that women’s freedom of choice must remain a paramount concern) on the issue myself. 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