{"id":414,"date":"2011-06-13T11:31:38","date_gmt":"2011-06-13T15:31:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/thecelebritytherapist\/?p=414"},"modified":"2011-06-13T11:31:39","modified_gmt":"2011-06-13T15:31:39","slug":"where-does-it-hurt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thecelebritytherapist\/2011\/06\/where-does-it-hurt.html","title":{"rendered":"Where Does It Hurt?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Sherry Gaba <\/strong>LCSW, Psychotherapist, Life & Recovery Coach is featured Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Sherry is the author of \u201cThe Law of Sobriety\u201d<\/a> which uses the law of attraction to recover from any addiction. Please download your copy of \u201cManifest Holistic Health<\/a>\u201d from Sherry\u2019s Enrich Your Life Series Contact Sherry at sherry@sgabatherapy.com<\/a> for webinars, teleseminars, coaching packages and speaking engagements.<\/p>\n

We humans are so afraid of pain\u2014physical pain and emotional pain\u2014that we\u2019ll do almost anything to avoid it. We\u2019ll even choose something safe and familiar that we don\u2019t like, rather than taking a risk on something we really want. We do that because risky ventures might fail, and failure causes us pain.<\/p>\n

Our fear of pain is what leads us to addiction. We can\u2019t bear the pain of our current situation or the memories of a painful past, so we numb ourselves in an effort not to feel it.<\/p>\n

The irony here is that our efforts to avoid pain just cause us more pain\u2014and make true happiness impossible. We don\u2019t take the risk, so we never get what we want. We don\u2019t face the difficult past, so we are never free of that pain. We don\u2019t sort out the painful present, so we never make things right. And the pain just goes on and on.<\/p>\n

We can\u2019t be numb 100 percent of the time. And in sobriety, we can\u2019t be numb at all. So we need to learn how to experience our pain\u2014truly feel it\u2014and just sit with it.<\/p>\n

How can we do this? The first step is to see it for what it is. We are so afraid of pain that we build it up in our minds: \u201cThis pain will be the biggest, worst, most intolerable pain ever and I will not be able to bear it, which is why I must do anything to avoid it.\u201d Do you see how our fear of experiencing pain makes it seem worse than it really is?<\/p>\n

Rather than worry about how bad it\u2019s going to feel, just feel it. <\/em>Feel it without adding on the extra burden of fear. Notice the pain with interest and curiosity. Just tolerate it for a bit. Notice how it makes you feel. Know that eventually it will pass.<\/p>\n

When you learn to detach from your pain without fear or desperation\u2014rather than fighting it, ignoring it or trying to numb it away\u2014you\u2019ll see that, after all, it is only a thought. And thoughts exist in our minds. They are not part of our lives. There\u2019s no need to fear them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sherry Gaba LCSW, Psychotherapist, Life & Recovery Coach is featured Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Sherry is the author of \u201cThe Law of Sobriety\u201d which uses the law of attraction to recover from any addiction. Please download your copy of \u201cManifest Holistic Health\u201d from Sherry\u2019s Enrich Your Life Series Contact Sherry at sherry@sgabatherapy.com for webinars, teleseminars,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":402,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,4,5,6,7,11,12,147,13,14,15,16],"tags":[23,24,26,27,29,30,34,37,39,41,46,47,48,49,50,51,52,53,54,56,58,59,61,64,67,69,70,72,73,75,77,79,82,83,84,85,86,87,89,92,94,96],"class_list":["post-414","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-12-steps","category-aa","category-addiction","category-agoura-psychotherapist-westlake-village-psychotherapist-calabasas-psychotherapist-malibu-psychoth","category-beyond-addiction","category-law-of-attraction","category-law-of-sobriety","category-love-addiction","category-mental-health","category-recovery","category-sobriety","category-soft-addiction","tag-addiction-specialist","tag-addictions","tag-agoura-hills","tag-agoura-hills-psychotherapist","tag-alternative-medicine","tag-binge-eating","tag-calabasas","tag-celebrity-addiction-2","tag-celebrity-rehab-2","tag-co-dependency","tag-diet","tag-dr-drew","tag-drug-addiction","tag-feelings-and-emotions","tag-food-addiction","tag-gambling-addiction","tag-health","tag-internet-addiction","tag-intervention","tag-law-of-attraction-2","tag-life-coach","tag-life-coaching","tag-malibu","tag-melody-beattie","tag-metpahysical","tag-moorpark","tag-motivation","tag-positive-action","tag-positive-change","tag-pupose","tag-recovery-2","tag-recovery-information","tag-self-discovery","tag-self-discovery-professionals","tag-shopping-addiction","tag-simi-valley","tag-spiritual","tag-spirituality","tag-substance-abuse","tag-thousand-oaks","tag-weight-loss","tag-westlake-village-psychotherapist"],"yoast_head":"\nWhere Does It Hurt? - The Celebrity Therapist<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thecelebritytherapist\/2011\/06\/where-does-it-hurt.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Where Does It Hurt? - The Celebrity Therapist\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Sherry Gaba LCSW, Psychotherapist, Life & Recovery Coach is featured Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Sherry is the author of \u201cThe Law of Sobriety\u201d which uses the law of attraction to recover from any addiction. 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