{"id":15,"date":"2010-07-13T07:00:25","date_gmt":"2010-07-13T07:00:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/movingbeyondaddiction\/2010\/07\/how-distorted-thinking-gets-in-the-way-of-a-fulfilling-life.html"},"modified":"2010-07-13T07:00:25","modified_gmt":"2010-07-13T07:00:25","slug":"how-distorted-thinking-gets-in-the-way-of-a-fulfilling-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thecelebritytherapist\/2010\/07\/how-distorted-thinking-gets-in-the-way-of-a-fulfilling-life.html","title":{"rendered":"How Distorted Thinking Gets in The Way of a Fulfilling Life"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><b><font face=\"Times New Roman\" color=\"#000000\" size=\"3\">&nbsp;<\/font><\/b><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><font face=\"Times New Roman\" color=\"#000000\" size=\"3\">Cognitive distortions are distorted, exaggerated, negative ways of thinking. For example, your boss tells you that your presentation was not as good as she had expected, and you take that to mean your boss hates everything you do and thinks you&#8217;re terrible at your job. This kind of distortion is called overgeneralization: You take one isolated instance and assume it applies to everything in your life.&nbsp; I am having one of those moments now.&nbsp; I appeared on &#8220;Issues with Jane Velez-Mitchell&#8221; on CNN Headline News and really really did not like how I looked.&nbsp; I liked what I had to say, but my cognitive distortion is I really&nbsp;was un-happy with my appearance.&nbsp; Everyone is telling me this is not true but my cognitive distortion says otherwise.<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span><font face=\"Times New Roman\" color=\"#000000\" size=\"3\">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <\/font><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><font face=\"Times New Roman\" color=\"#000000\" size=\"3\">Most people think in distorted ways from time to time, but addicts are especially prone to many types of cognitive distortions. They tend to filter all information through a negative lens. This kind of thinking is really dangerous, because it leads to hopelessness, inaction, feelings of worthlessness, and a belief that change is not possible.<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span><font face=\"Times New Roman\" color=\"#000000\" size=\"3\">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <\/font><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><font face=\"Times New Roman\" color=\"#000000\" size=\"3\">When your thinking is so distorted, you no longer see the world as it really is. You&#8217;re living in your head, rather than living in the real world. <\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span><font face=\"Times New Roman\" color=\"#000000\" size=\"3\">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <\/font><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><font face=\"Times New Roman\" color=\"#000000\" size=\"3\">The first step in clearing out this kind of distorted thinking is to recognize it. When you know what to look for, you can catch yourself thinking in distorted ways, re-examine an event and understand it for what it really is. In the example I just gave about the boss and the presentation, you might realize your boss was being critical of only one thing that you did. And the fact that she expected better work from you means she generally thinks your work is good. <\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span><font face=\"Times New Roman\" color=\"#000000\" size=\"3\">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <\/font><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><font face=\"Times New Roman\" color=\"#000000\" size=\"3\">Psychologists recognize the following 10 cognitive distortions as being the most common. See if any of them seem familiar. <\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><font face=\"Times New Roman\" color=\"#000000\" size=\"3\">&nbsp;<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><font face=\"Times New Roman\" color=\"#000000\" size=\"3\">1. All-or-nothing thinking: You see things as black and white&#8211;total success or total failure.<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><font face=\"Times New Roman\" color=\"#000000\" size=\"3\">2. Overgeneralization: You see a single event as evidence of an endless pattern.<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><font face=\"Times New Roman\" color=\"#000000\" size=\"3\">3. Mental filter: You pick out a single negative detail and focus exclusively on that, so that you never see the good in anything.<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><font face=\"Times New Roman\" color=\"#000000\" size=\"3\">4. Disqualifying the positive: You reject positive experiences as being irrelevant; somehow, they &#8220;don&#8217;t count.&#8221;<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><font face=\"Times New Roman\" color=\"#000000\" size=\"3\">5. Jumping to conclusions: You interpret things negatively and assume everything will turn out badly. You might assume everyone dislikes you without even asking them, or assume things will turnout badly without even trying them.<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><font face=\"Times New Roman\" color=\"#000000\" size=\"3\">6. Magnification or minimization: You exaggerate the importance of bad things in your life and minimize the importance of good things. <\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><font face=\"Times New Roman\" color=\"#000000\" size=\"3\">7. Emotional reasoning: You assume your negative emotions reflect the way things really are.<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><font face=\"Times New Roman\" color=\"#000000\" size=\"3\">8. Should statements: You try to motivate yourself and others by saying &#8220;you should do this,&#8221; or you &#8220;shouldn&#8217;t do that,&#8221; as if you and everyone else must be punished and made to feel guilty before you will actually do anything.<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><font size=\"3\"><font color=\"#000000\"><font face=\"Times New Roman\">9. Labeling and mislabeling: You negatively label yourself or others based on a single event. So, for example, you forget to say &#8220;thank you&#8221; once and you conclude, &#8220;I&#8217;m a rude person.&#8221;<span>&nbsp; <\/span><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><font face=\"Times New Roman\" color=\"#000000\" size=\"3\">10. Personalization: You see yourself as the cause of external events that you really had nothing to do with.<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><font face=\"Times New Roman\" color=\"#000000\" size=\"3\">&nbsp;<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span><font face=\"Times New Roman\" color=\"#000000\" size=\"3\">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <\/font><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><font face=\"Times New Roman\" color=\"#000000\" size=\"3\">This list of cognitive distortions comes from work done by David D. Burns, MD (you can read about it in his book <i>The Feeling Good Handbook, <\/i>William Morrow and Company, 1989). Also, check out http:\/\/depression.about.com\/cs\/psychotherapy\/a\/cognitive.htm&#8211;a web site that explains these cognitive distortions really well. <\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><font face=\"Times New Roman\" color=\"#000000\" size=\"3\">&nbsp;<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><font face=\"Times New Roman\" color=\"#000000\" size=\"3\">Sherry Gaba, LCSW, is a Psychotherapist and Life Coach and author of <a href=\"http:\/\/sherrygaba.hcibooks.com\/\">&#8220;The Law of<\/a> <a href=\"http:\/\/sherrygaba.hcibooks.com\/\">Sobriety:<\/a> Attracting Positive Energy for a Powerful Recovery&#8221; and the go-to expert for life-coaching matters on VH1&#8217;s Celebrity Rehab.<span>&nbsp; <\/span>Sherry has developed a 7 step program on how uniting the concepts of the Law of Attraction with one&#8217;s authentic self can create a powerful recovery.<\/font><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; Cognitive distortions are distorted, exaggerated, negative ways of thinking. For example, your boss tells you that your presentation was not as good as she had expected, and you take that to mean your boss hates everything you do and thinks you&#8217;re terrible at your job. This kind of distortion is called overgeneralization: You take&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":402,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-agoura-psychotherapist-westlake-village-psychotherapist-calabasas-psychotherapist-malibu-psychoth"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How Distorted Thinking Gets in The Way of a Fulfilling Life - The Celebrity Therapist<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thecelebritytherapist\/2010\/07\/how-distorted-thinking-gets-in-the-way-of-a-fulfilling-life.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How Distorted Thinking Gets in The Way of a Fulfilling Life - The Celebrity Therapist\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"&nbsp; Cognitive distortions are distorted, exaggerated, negative ways of thinking. For example, your boss tells you that your presentation was not as good as she had expected, and you take that to mean your boss hates everything you do and thinks you&#8217;re terrible at your job. This kind of distortion is called overgeneralization: You take&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thecelebritytherapist\/2010\/07\/how-distorted-thinking-gets-in-the-way-of-a-fulfilling-life.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Celebrity Therapist\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2010-07-13T07:00:25+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Sherry Gaba\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"How Distorted Thinking Gets in The Way of a Fulfilling Life - The Celebrity Therapist","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thecelebritytherapist\/2010\/07\/how-distorted-thinking-gets-in-the-way-of-a-fulfilling-life.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"How Distorted Thinking Gets in The Way of a Fulfilling Life - The Celebrity Therapist","og_description":"&nbsp; Cognitive distortions are distorted, exaggerated, negative ways of thinking. For example, your boss tells you that your presentation was not as good as she had expected, and you take that to mean your boss hates everything you do and thinks you&#8217;re terrible at your job. This kind of distortion is called overgeneralization: You take&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thecelebritytherapist\/2010\/07\/how-distorted-thinking-gets-in-the-way-of-a-fulfilling-life.html","og_site_name":"The Celebrity Therapist","article_published_time":"2010-07-13T07:00:25+00:00","author":"Sherry Gaba","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thecelebritytherapist\/2010\/07\/how-distorted-thinking-gets-in-the-way-of-a-fulfilling-life.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thecelebritytherapist\/2010\/07\/how-distorted-thinking-gets-in-the-way-of-a-fulfilling-life.html","name":"How Distorted Thinking Gets in The Way of a Fulfilling Life - The Celebrity Therapist","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thecelebritytherapist\/#website"},"datePublished":"2010-07-13T07:00:25+00:00","dateModified":"2010-07-13T07:00:25+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thecelebritytherapist\/#\/schema\/person\/0741dfc75bdebc7207322576ec56d97e"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thecelebritytherapist\/2010\/07\/how-distorted-thinking-gets-in-the-way-of-a-fulfilling-life.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thecelebritytherapist\/2010\/07\/how-distorted-thinking-gets-in-the-way-of-a-fulfilling-life.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thecelebritytherapist\/2010\/07\/how-distorted-thinking-gets-in-the-way-of-a-fulfilling-life.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thecelebritytherapist"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"How Distorted Thinking Gets in The Way of a Fulfilling Life"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thecelebritytherapist\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thecelebritytherapist\/","name":"The Celebrity Therapist","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Sherry Gaba","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thecelebritytherapist\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thecelebritytherapist\/#\/schema\/person\/0741dfc75bdebc7207322576ec56d97e","name":"Sherry Gaba","description":"If you think you might be codependent or a love addict, get Sherry\u2019s FREE Ebook, \u201cThe Truth about Codependency\u201d https:\/\/wakeuprecovery.com\/codependency-quiz\/ Sherry maintains a private practice in Westlake Village, and is a sought after transformationn and recovery coach. For more information visit www.sherrygaba.com or sign up today for Sherry\u2019s online group coaching program for codependents for $19\/month https:\/\/wakeuprecovery.com\/become-a-member-co\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thecelebritytherapist\/author\/sherrygaba"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thecelebritytherapist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thecelebritytherapist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thecelebritytherapist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thecelebritytherapist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/402"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thecelebritytherapist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thecelebritytherapist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thecelebritytherapist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thecelebritytherapist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thecelebritytherapist\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}