“Where did I go
\nwrong?”<\/p>\n
“Why didn’t I
\nnotice?”<\/p>\n
“What could I have
\ndone?”<\/p>\n
“It’s my fault!”<\/p>\n
These are all exclamations that are uttered by family <\/p>\n Communication is Key! Get educated about recovery. <\/p>\n Do you keep a dry house? In order to offer the support and <\/p>\n Loved ones need to surrender along with the addict. Be sure to seek and maintain support for yourself as Sherry <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" “Where did I go wrong?” “Why didn’t I notice?” “What could I have done?” “It’s my fault!” These are all exclamations that are uttered by family members and loved ones of addicts. The feeling of guilt and anger are completely reasonable, but if you are going to be involved with the addicted family member, these…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":402,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-120","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-agoura-psychotherapist-westlake-village-psychotherapist-calabasas-psychotherapist-malibu-psychoth"],"yoast_head":"\n
\nmembers and loved ones of addicts. The feeling of guilt and anger are
\ncompletely reasonable, but if you are going to be involved with the addicted
\nfamily member, these emotions must be faced head-on. Seek an understanding that
\nyour loved one has a disease and the “trickster” that resides in their mind is
\nnot going to go away or “get fixed”. <\/span><\/p>\n
\nUnderstand that your loved one has a disease – their symptoms are lying,
\nmanipulation, stealing and behaviors aren’t “normal” and that is because their
\nbrain doesn’t work like a healthy brain. An addicted brain seeks the
\nstimulation and feeling from drugs that defy all rational explanation. <\/span>Many addicts are aware that their behavior
\nwill result in death, theirs and potentially others. <\/span>This would seem like a life altering,
\nbehavior modifying, and impetus to live sober, work a program and chose
\nrecovery. <\/span><\/p>\n
\nstructure that will complement a sober lifestyle, the household must be dry.
\nThat means, no alcohol, faux-alcohol, illicit drugs, and maintaining an open
\nline of communication between family members and the addict. Imagine if your
\nloved one was diabetic, would you keep a buffet of sugary sweets around your
\nhouse and eat them in front of them? More than likely, probably not, so why
\nplace the addict in an environment that isn’t conducive to their health? Taking
\nthe position that you don’t have the problem, it is the addict’s problem will
\nnever create an environment conducive to sobriety and recovery. <\/span>The addict does not exist in a vacuum. <\/span>While the responsibility for the choices and
\nactions do rest solely with the addict.
\n<\/span>Recovery and Sobriety are team sports.
\n<\/span>Family members can choose to be on the team or not, but the addict
\ncannot and will not maintain sobriety and work a program of recovery on their
\nown. <\/span><\/p>\n
\nAddiction isn’t a matter of control, on the part of the addict and the part of
\nthe loved one (who may or may not be co-dependent or an enabler), you can’t
\ncontrol the disease. As an addict, you only have control over your first drink
\nand as a loved one, you only have control over what you bring into the house,
\nwhat your response it to the addict’s drug and alcohol induced behavior and actions.<\/p>\n
\nwell. <\/span>Loving an addict is hard
\nwork. <\/span>It was hard when they weren’t
\nsober, and it will be hard when they are sober.
\n<\/span>Many programs are available for family members, spouses, and friends of
\naddicts. <\/span>These groups will be a lifeline
\nto you as you support and work the recovery program of your loved one. <\/span>Addiction is a family disease and each member
\nthat wishes to remain in a relationship with the addict needs to have an
\nunderstanding of the disease of addiction, working with a professional in the
\naddiction field can yield those results. <\/p>\n
\nGaba, LCSW, is a Psychotherapist and Life\/Recovery Coach in Agoura Hills
\nand on Celebrity Rehab. She is also the author of “The Law of Sobriety<\/a>.” Contact Sherry at sherry@sgabatherapy.com to learn more about her teleseminars<\/a>, upcoming book signings, speaking engagements, workshops, and coaching packages.<\/p>\n