{"id":1077,"date":"2016-08-31T15:58:49","date_gmt":"2016-08-31T19:58:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thecelebritytherapist\/?p=1077"},"modified":"2016-08-31T15:58:49","modified_gmt":"2016-08-31T19:58:49","slug":"black-white-thinking","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thecelebritytherapist\/2016\/08\/black-white-thinking.html","title":{"rendered":"Black and White Thinking"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"blackGrowing up with an alcoholic parent, we were taught to see things in extremes.\u00a0 It was either the best possible thing that could ever happen, or the worst possible thing that could ever happen.\u00a0 Our parents had been taught, and were passing on to us, the lesson that people in the world are good or bad, right or wrong, smart or stupid, strong or weak.\u00a0 If something bad happened, we often heard phrases such as, \u201cI should just give up, then.\u201d\u00a0 Our world was framed around these extremes.\u00a0 We have extreme reactions to situations and people in order to get what we want.<\/p>\n

Being an alcoholic or a para-alcoholic, manipulation is part of our tool belt.\u00a0 We can whip it out at any moment, and craft any situation in order to gain the upper hand.\u00a0 Our ego rules us, believing that we are the most important, right now, and that is what needs to get taken care of.\u00a0 If it doesn\u2019t get done, we can whip out our other handy tools, shame, blame, and guilt.\u00a0 We can throw them at our enemies with great precision, and back them into a corner.\u00a0 This is our game, and it is how we win.<\/p>\n

It is time we realize that life does not have to be this way.\u00a0 We can take off our blinders and see the world for what it really is.\u00a0 Just because we have not been living our life in a loving and healthy way for ourselves does not mean there is no hope for us.\u00a0 There is always hope.\u00a0 There is always another option.\u00a0 There are always grey areas.\u00a0 We do not have to let our pasts define us.\u00a0 We can find a way forward, out of the black and white, and step out into the sun to see the colors as they really are.<\/p>\n

Sherry Gaba, LCSW, Radio Host, Certified Transformation Coach and author of\u00a0 the award winning book, The Law of Sobriety:Attracting Positive Energy for a Powerful Recovery and Ecourse www.wakeuprecovery.com. www.sherrygaba.com <\/em>sherry@sgabatherapy.com<\/em><\/a>.\u00a0 Find out if you are #codependent. Take my quiz.\u00a0 http:\/\/sherrygaba.com\/co-dependency-quiz\/<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Growing up with an alcoholic parent, we were taught to see things in extremes.\u00a0 It was either the best possible thing that could ever happen, or the worst possible thing that could ever happen.\u00a0 Our parents had been taught, and were passing on to us, the lesson that people in the world are good or…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":402,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,4,5,6,7,8,10,12,14,15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1077","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-12-steps","category-aa","category-addiction","category-agoura-psychotherapist-westlake-village-psychotherapist-calabasas-psychotherapist-malibu-psychoth","category-beyond-addiction","category-celebrity-addiction","category-celebrity-rehab","category-law-of-sobriety","category-recovery","category-sobriety"],"yoast_head":"\nBlack and White Thinking - The Celebrity Therapist<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thecelebritytherapist\/2016\/08\/black-white-thinking.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Black and White Thinking - The Celebrity Therapist\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Growing up with an alcoholic parent, we were taught to see things in extremes.\u00a0 It was either the best possible thing that could ever happen, or the worst possible thing that could ever happen.\u00a0 Our parents had been taught, and were passing on to us, the lesson that people in the world are good or…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thecelebritytherapist\/2016\/08\/black-white-thinking.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Celebrity Therapist\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-08-31T19:58:49+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/thecelebritytherapist\/files\/2016\/08\/black-white-300x200.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Sherry Gaba\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Black and White Thinking - 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