![\"NO\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/243\/2016\/07\/NO-300x212.jpg\")
We all have a right to say no.\u00a0 Most of us are used to hearing this phrase in terms of drug use or consent (\u201cJust say no!\u201d and \u201cNo means no!\u201d).\u00a0 Many of us feel as though we are obligated to do things, or that if we commit to something, we cannot change our minds and back out.\u00a0 This is false.\u00a0 We have the ability to make our own decisions, and to say no whenever we feel we need to.<\/p>\n
Saying no can be hard!\u00a0 There are people that we want to impress, and a lot of the time, we truly don\u2019t mind doing something for a person here or there.\u00a0 There are some of us however that feel overwhelmed with how much we have agreed to do, and we find ourselves unable to say no.\u00a0 Perhaps we want to seem like we are always willing to help, or we want to give a good impression of ourselves.\u00a0 Maybe, we don\u2019t even realize that our problem is saying yes to everything.\u00a0 The good news is that there is always room to grow.<\/p>\n
I have a friend that freelances her work, and she used to say yes to every job she was offered.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t long before she found herself exhausted and overworked, and ready to call it quits.\u00a0 After one particularly grueling few weeks of working straight through with no days off, my friend realized something needed to change.\u00a0 She was trying to hard to please the people around her that she lost her needs in the process.\u00a0 After a while of saying yes to everything, this friend began to say no to jobs based on a specific criteria.\u00a0 If that\u2019s what helps you – go ahead and make a list of requirements in order to say yes.\u00a0 Or maybe, you just decide that you want to say no three times a week.\u00a0 The important thing is to remember that it is completely okay to say no to people, and you do not have to justify why you have done so.<\/p>\n
I think this is something that trips up a lot of people, myself included.\u00a0 Not only do we feel as though we can\u2019t say no, but we feel as though if we do say no, we have to have an amazing reason for doing so, and the person we are saying no to has to somehow be okay with it, or we must feel guilty.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got to stop this!\u00a0 It is so much easier said than done though.\u00a0 If we can start saying no, and stop justifying ourselves for every decision we make, we might just be happier.\u00a0 But we have to start one step at a time.\u00a0 These behaviors are ingrained in us and they will not change overnight.\u00a0 We can become aware, and work to change them one behavior at a time.<\/p>\n
Today, I challenge you to say no to something that you normally would say yes to.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t feel comfortable with that quite yet, try to just become aware of the times you are justifying your actions to yourself and others, and see if you can\u2019t catch yourself and remind yourself that you have your reasons, and others don\u2019t need to know them.<\/p>\n
Sherry Gaba, LCSW, Radio Host, Certified Transformation Coach and author of\u00a0 the award winning book, The Law of Sobriety:Attracting Positive Energy for a Powerful Recovery and Ecourse www.wakeuprecovery.com. www.sherrygaba.com sherry@sgabatherapy.com<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" We all have a right to say no.\u00a0 Most of us are used to hearing this phrase in terms of drug use or consent (\u201cJust say no!\u201d and \u201cNo means no!\u201d).\u00a0 Many of us feel as though we are obligated to do things, or that if we commit to something, we cannot change our minds…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":402,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,4,5,6,7,8,11,12,147,13,14,153,15,16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1061","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-12-steps","category-aa","category-addiction","category-agoura-psychotherapist-westlake-village-psychotherapist-calabasas-psychotherapist-malibu-psychoth","category-beyond-addiction","category-celebrity-addiction","category-law-of-attraction","category-law-of-sobriety","category-love-addiction","category-mental-health","category-recovery","category-sex-addiction-2","category-sobriety","category-soft-addiction"],"yoast_head":"\n