{"id":484,"date":"2011-07-22T16:05:12","date_gmt":"2011-07-22T20:05:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/sweetshore\/?p=484"},"modified":"2011-07-22T16:11:37","modified_gmt":"2011-07-22T20:11:37","slug":"484","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/sweetshore\/2011\/07\/484.html","title":{"rendered":"A Letter to Dads (and Thoughts for Moms)"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>\n<h1><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-size: 13px;font-weight: normal\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright\" src=\"https:\/\/media.npr.org\/assets\/img\/2011\/07\/15\/win.jpg?t=1311100626&amp;s=51\" alt=\"Can dads beat moms at parenting?\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\" \/>Here are some excerpts from a <em><strong>Letter to Dads: \u00a0Stop Letting Moms Win At Parenting <\/strong><\/em>posted today by Matthew Tobey, editor of \u00a0the\u00a0<strong>Comedy Central Insider<em>\u00a0blog<\/em>.<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p>I thought it was worth sharing&#8230;<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p><em>Dear new dads,<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>The arrival of your baby is an exciting time, but there&#8217;s an elephant in the room we need to talk about: you. No, I don&#8217;t mean all that sympathy-weight you gained during the pregnancy. I&#8217;m talking about the fact that, as hard as it is to admit, you&#8217;re a little useless.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>He goes on to explain:<\/p>\n<p><em>Don&#8217;t get me wrong. You have lots of work to do: changing, feeding, clothing, rocking, not-sleeping, you still have to do all of that stuff. But have I mentioned that a mother&#8217;s body makes actual food? That&#8217;s pretty hard to compete with, so it&#8217;s easy to end up feeling kind of like a vice parent, which is like being vice president without the thrill of breaking ties in the Senate.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>I&#8217;m not saying parenting is a competition. I&#8217;m saying parenting\u00a0should\u00a0be a competition. So, here&#8217;s my advice: pick some menial parenting job and be awesome at it.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>He then picks two of the most menial jobs and explains how to become a master:<\/p>\n<p><em>Take diapering, for example. Anyone can change a diaper, but you&#8217;re going to turn diapering into an art form. Stay up nights practicing your technique until you master a complete diaper-change using only one hand, then using only your feet, then using only your mind!<\/em><\/p>\n<div>\n<div>\n<p><em>Or..<\/em>.<em>You could get so good at burping that people come from all over the world to learn from you, the one they call The Burp-Whisperer.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>Funny&#8211;but there is a serious side to what he is saying. \u00a0Many new dads are made to feel \u00a0superfluous with all of the tasks that are inherent in having a newborn and succomb to feeling like second class citizens who can never get it quite right. I&#8217;m sorry to say that a lot of the time, it happens because their wives treat them as if they are incompetent.<\/p>\n<p>This not only applies to newborns&#8211;that&#8217;s just where it begins, and if you&#8217;re not careful, Dad can end up feeling that way for most of the child-rearing years.<\/p>\n<p>Be careful, Moms, to treat your husbands as capable, allowing them to help with everything from diaper-changing to feeding to teaching your children how to pick themselves up and try again when they don&#8217;t get something right the first time. \u00a0Make sure that you let them know how essential they are for bringing up balanced, happy children. \u00a0If he doesn&#8217;t do everything exactly the way you do, it&#8217;s not the end of the world, he&#8217;s the <em><strong>Dad<\/strong><\/em>, not the <em><strong>Mom<\/strong><\/em>, and he should be as involved in parenting as you are.<\/p>\n<p>As someone who grew up without a Dad, I know that one-sided parenting (even with the best single parent in the world) makes it hard to face life with a proper perspective. \u00a0Children need the nurturing, encouraging and consistent parenting from both parents to have a well-rounded view of the world.<\/p>\n<p>Parents should be affirming to each other, appreciating the unique perspective that each brings to the task of bringing up children who will grow up to be contributing, responsible adults.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Here are some excerpts from a Letter to Dads: \u00a0Stop Letting Moms Win At Parenting posted today by Matthew Tobey, editor of \u00a0the\u00a0Comedy Central Insider\u00a0blog. &nbsp; I thought it was worth sharing&#8230; Dear new dads, The arrival of your baby is an exciting time, but there&#8217;s an elephant in the room we need to talk&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":424,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,10,41,45,4,5],"tags":[82,83,505,84,85],"class_list":["post-484","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-babies","category-children","category-fathers","category-newborn","category-how-to-survive-and-enjoy-motherhood-part-1","category-personal-observations","tag-dads","tag-moms","tag-newborn","tag-parenting","tag-parents"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>A Letter to Dads (and Thoughts for Moms) - Sweet Shore<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/sweetshore\/2011\/07\/484.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"A Letter to Dads (and Thoughts for Moms) - Sweet Shore\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Here are some excerpts from a Letter to Dads: \u00a0Stop Letting Moms Win At Parenting posted today by Matthew Tobey, editor of \u00a0the\u00a0Comedy Central Insider\u00a0blog. &nbsp; I thought it was worth sharing&#8230; Dear new dads, The arrival of your baby is an exciting time, but there&#8217;s an elephant in the room we need to talk&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/sweetshore\/2011\/07\/484.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Sweet Shore\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-07-22T20:05:12+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2011-07-22T20:11:37+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/media.npr.org\/assets\/img\/2011\/07\/15\/win.jpg?t=1311100626&amp;s=51\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Nora Puls\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"A Letter to Dads (and Thoughts for Moms) - Sweet Shore","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/sweetshore\/2011\/07\/484.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"A Letter to Dads (and Thoughts for Moms) - Sweet Shore","og_description":"Here are some excerpts from a Letter to Dads: \u00a0Stop Letting Moms Win At Parenting posted today by Matthew Tobey, editor of \u00a0the\u00a0Comedy Central Insider\u00a0blog. &nbsp; 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