{"id":127,"date":"2010-01-24T03:18:21","date_gmt":"2010-01-24T03:18:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/stuffchristianculturelikes\/2010\/01\/sex-challenges.html"},"modified":"2010-01-24T03:18:21","modified_gmt":"2010-01-24T03:18:21","slug":"sex-challenges","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/stuffchristianculturelikes\/2010\/01\/sex-challenges.html","title":{"rendered":"#121 30-Day Sex Challenges"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"sexchallenge.jpg\"<\/span>In recent months a rash of evangelical churches started advocating
\n30-day sex challenges for married couples. The tagline is “Every man’s
\nfantasy: 30 days<\/i> of sex<\/i>! Every woman’s dream: 30 days<\/i> of intimacy<\/i>!”
\nThe challenge is to have sex every day for 30 days, the end result
\nbeing a stronger marriage. The husbands are stoked. The wives act like
\nthey are too.<\/p>\n

Sex challenges made by
\nchurches typically get a lot of press, which drums up attendance. And if it gets people in the door the challenge is a good thing, right? This logic
\nmakes the sex challenge difficult for Christian culture to question.<\/p>\n

At
\nthe conclusion of 30 days the participants are surveyed and most of
\nthem report that it was the best 30 days of their lives, LOL! But some
\nsay the challenge precluded actual communication and
\ngot downright tiring. A significant number of people have survived sexual abuse, but counseling isn’t often proffered by churches with jumbotron prominence the way sex challenges are. Offering personal interaction and proactive healing of deep wounds might go much further towards fostering intimacy
\nthan a sex challenge could, while challenging trauma survivors in this way can cause a lot more damage.<\/p>\n

With all of this propaganda the pitfalls
\naren’t discussed. The wife could feel objectified or emotionally
\nneglected, but if she has been immersed in Christian culture she could dismiss these feelings as being selfish and sinful. And men in
\nChristian culture sure as hell do not speak openly about being too
\ntired for sex or feeling emotionally neglected. The machismo
\nundercurrent in Christian culture is pretty effective in shaming men
\ninto acting stronger in the traditional sense, even though Christ
\nmodeled strength in the most untraditional sense.<\/p>\n

The message being given is that it’s good to do something if the person
\nstanding at the pulpit challenged you to. But how did the ins and outs (har
\nhar) of the congregants’ marriages come to be bandied about from the
\npulpit? Is there a boundary issue here? Would it be better for the
\nchurch body if the pastor taught the Bible instead of being provocative and muddling tactical advice with scripture?
 
\n
When
\nsomething as intensely personal as a sex challenge is presented by an
\ninstitution and doesn’t speak to the personal histories and hearts of
\nthe people involved, it’s a breeding ground for emotional and spiritual
\ninjury. Christian culture’s recurring theme of Doing Things and Avoiding
\nRelationship goes to show that the point has been lost.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In recent months a rash of evangelical churches started advocating 30-day sex challenges for married couples. The tagline is \u201cEvery man’s fantasy: 30 days of sex! Every woman’s dream: 30 days of intimacy!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":208,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[81,83,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-127","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-doing-things-and-avoiding-relationship","category-formulas","category-sex"],"yoast_head":"\n#121 30-Day Sex Challenges - Stuff Christian Culture Likes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/stuffchristianculturelikes\/2010\/01\/sex-challenges.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"#121 30-Day Sex Challenges - Stuff Christian Culture Likes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"In recent months a rash of evangelical churches started advocating 30-day sex challenges for married couples. 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Every woman's dream: 30 days of intimacy!\u201d\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/stuffchristianculturelikes\/2010\/01\/sex-challenges.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Stuff Christian Culture Likes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2010-01-24T03:18:21+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/stuffchristianculturelikes\/files\/import\/sex2\/sexchallenge.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Stephanie Drury\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"#121 30-Day Sex Challenges - Stuff Christian Culture Likes","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/stuffchristianculturelikes\/2010\/01\/sex-challenges.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"#121 30-Day Sex Challenges - Stuff Christian Culture Likes","og_description":"In recent months a rash of evangelical churches started advocating 30-day sex challenges for married couples. 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