{"id":95,"date":"2019-11-08T21:11:10","date_gmt":"2019-11-08T21:11:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/strongermarriages\/?p=95"},"modified":"2019-11-08T21:11:10","modified_gmt":"2019-11-08T21:11:10","slug":"5-areas-family-cant-afford-ignore","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/strongermarriages\/2019\/11\/5-areas-family-cant-afford-ignore.html","title":{"rendered":"The 5 Areas Your Family Can’t Afford to Ignore"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"family-parenting-with-baby-bw_credit-Shutterstock.com\"When you throw a leaf into a stream of water, what happens?\u00a0 The leaf will drift with the flow of the current.\u00a0 Our marriages and families are no different.\u00a0 Every marriage and family relationship has a flow.\u00a0 The current flow or direction of your family is either moving closer toward God and each other, or you are drifting further apart from the things that matter most in your life.\u00a0 We call it the danger of drift. The good news is that there is hope.\u00a0 You can stop drifting and start living with greater intention.\u00a0 You can refocus and renew your situation if you\u2019re willing to make some necessary shifts in your marriage and family relationships.<\/p>\n

In our new book, Family Shift, <\/em>we share a 5-Step framework to help you make a necessary shift to move you from where you are to where you desire to be in your marriage and family.<\/p>\n

1. S- Start With the End in Mind<\/h3>\n

This is a shift in direction.<\/p>\n

Proverbs 29:18 (KJV) Where there is no vision, the people perish. <\/em>Without vision marriages die, dreams die, passion dies and hope dies.\u00a0 This is why every marriage and family must start with the end in mind.\u00a0 Ask yourself the question, who do I want to become as a husband, father, wife or mother?\u00a0 What do I want my legacy to be?\u00a0 The problem with vision is that it leaks.\u00a0 We all experience vision drift at some point.\u00a0 Vision must be renewed constantly to remind ourselves of who we want to become and where we want to go in our marriage and family.\u00a0 The second step to making a shift in your marriage and family is to…<\/p>\n

2. H- Hold to Core Values<\/h3>\n

This is a shift in focus.<\/p>\n

God wants our marriage, our family relationships, and our relationships with others to be in alignment with His values.\u00a0 What are His values?\u00a0 According to Jeremiah 9:23-24, His values are kindness, justice, and righteousness.\u00a0 These values are of utmost importance to God.<\/p>\n

How about you? What is most important to you? What are the guiding principles, priorities or qualities that you use to define or shape your marriage or family?\u00a0\u00a0 Answering these questions as a family is crucial because what we believe determines how we live.\u00a0 Our values not only drive our priorities and decisions, but they also shape the culture of our marriage and family relationships.\u00a0 The third step is to…<\/p>\n

This is a shift in motivation.<\/p>\n

Ephesians 2:10 (NLT) For we are God\u2019s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. <\/em>As a couple or family, we can all share the same values or qualities that are important to us, but how we express those values are often demonstrated through our goals, passions <\/em>and struggles.<\/em> These 3 things can serve as a guidance system for our families and serve as fuel to motivate us as we strive to fulfill the destiny God has for our lives.<\/p>\n

No matter what you have been through or what season you\u2019re in as a person, couple or family, it\u2019s never too late to make some shifts to help give new direction, focus and motivation to your most important relationships.\u00a0 Even our greatest setbacks can be turned into our greatest comebacks.\u00a0\u00a0 The fourth step is to…<\/p>\n

4. F- Find Life-Giving Friendships<\/h3>\n

This is a shift in reinforcement.<\/p>\n

Proverbs 27:17 (NLT) As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. <\/em>Whether we realize it or not, the people we choose to associate with will either cause us to drift further away from God and His purposes, or they will inspire us to become more like Him. No matter what age or stage we are in we need 3 kinds of friends.\u00a0 We call them the TLC of friendships.<\/p>\n

Tough: Friends who are spiritually and morally tough will make us better and bolder in our own faith.\u00a0 And they will help us stay on track in the things that matter most in our lives.<\/p>\n

Loyal: Loyal friends celebrate our successes and grieve our losses.\u00a0 So often, we see the opposite, friends who celebrate someone\u2019s losses and grieve over someone\u2019s successes.<\/p>\n

Committed: True friends love and accept us no matter what and are aligned with our mission, vision and values.\u00a0 They are unconditionally committed to help us grow to become and fulfill all that God has for our lives.\u00a0 The fifth step is to…<\/p>\n

5. T- Teach by Example<\/h3>\n

This is a shift in purpose.<\/p>\n

“You teach what you know; you reproduce who you are.” -Jack Frost<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>Ephesians 5:1-2 (TPT) Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.<\/em><\/p>\n

Only God can help us become who He has created us to be.\u00a0 With God\u2019s help, we have found three things that we can do to follow Christ’s example when it comes to our spouse and children.<\/p>\n