{"id":9065,"date":"2025-05-30T19:03:57","date_gmt":"2025-05-30T19:03:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/strongermarriages\/?p=9065"},"modified":"2025-05-30T19:03:57","modified_gmt":"2025-05-30T19:03:57","slug":"michelle-obama-says-the-ultimate-job-of-a-parent-is-letting-kids-fail","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/strongermarriages\/2025\/05\/michelle-obama-says-the-ultimate-job-of-a-parent-is-letting-kids-fail.html","title":{"rendered":"Michelle Obama Says The \u2018Ultimate Job\u2019 of a Parent is Letting Kids Fail"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"
Michelle Obama \/ YouTube<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Former First Lady Michelle Obama is encouraging parents to loosen their grip and allow their children to experience failure\u2014calling it an essential part of developing confidence, independence, and resilience.<\/p>\n

Speaking on a recent episode of her \u201cMichelle Obama: The Light Podcast\u201d<\/em> (also known as \u201cIMO\u201d<\/em>), Obama reflected on her own journey raising daughters Malia and Sasha, emphasizing that the \u201cultimate job\u201d of any parent is not to shield their children from hardship, but to prepare them to face life\u2019s challenges head-on.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt is the hardest thing to do to watch your kids walk into a wall that you knew was there. And you told them not to walk into it,\u201d she said. \u201cUntil they hit it and get a lump on their head, they just won\u2019t learn it.\u201d<\/p>\n

According to Obama, a growing number of parents today are trying to protect their children from every possible misstep\u2014an approach she warns may do more harm than good. \u201cA lot of parents are trying to live their kids’ lives for them,\u201d she said, \u201cso that they don’t make any mistakes and don’t feel any sense of failure, which keeps them from learning.\u201d<\/p>\n

Instead, she urges moms and dads to start extending the leash when their kids are young\u2014allowing them to take small risks and make their own choices, even when the outcome may involve disappointment or hurt. \u201cIf you keep your kids from that experience\u2026 you\u2019re robbing them of their own competency,\u201d she said. \u201cThey need to know that you can bump your head, and you can figure it out.\u201d<\/p>\n

Obama also touched on the modern trend of parents striving to be their children\u2019s best friends, a pattern she believes can blur the lines of healthy authority and trust.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve got to practice letting go,\u201d she added. \u201cIt\u2019s like, you know what, I raised you all to have some sense, to have judgment. And at some point, you’ve got to practice that.\u201d<\/p>\n

In the podcast episode, which also featured her brother Craig Robinson and comedians Damon and Marlon Wayans, Obama shared that she intentionally gave her daughters more freedom before college so they could learn to make decisions while still under her guidance.<\/p>\n

Her advice echoes the views of many Christian parents who believe in fostering biblical virtues like perseverance, responsibility, and trust in God\u2019s guidance. The Bible reminds us in Romans 5:3\u20134 that \u201csuffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.\u201d<\/p>\n

In a culture that increasingly leans toward gentle or permissive parenting styles\u2014where boundaries are often blurred in favor of emotional affirmation\u2014Obama\u2019s words offer a timely reminder: shielding children from every struggle may rob them of the very strength they\u2019ll need to stand firm in a world full of challenges.<\/p>\n

Her message is simple but powerful: parenting isn\u2019t about preventing every fall\u2014it\u2019s about helping kids learn how to rise after they do. And sometimes, the most loving thing a parent can do is let go, stand back, and pray their child finds their way\u2014with God\u2019s help and wisdom guiding each step.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Former First Lady Michelle Obama is encouraging parents to loosen their grip and allow their children to experience failure\u2014calling it an essential part of developing confidence, independence, and resilience. Speaking on a recent episode of her \u201cMichelle Obama: The Light Podcast\u201d (also known as \u201cIMO\u201d), Obama reflected on her own journey raising daughters Malia and…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":462,"featured_media":9068,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fbia_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9065","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nMichelle Obama Says The \u2018Ultimate Job\u2019 of a Parent is Letting Kids Fail<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Michelle Obama says parents must let kids fail to build resilience, urging moms and dads to stop overprotecting and start letting go.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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