{"id":3288,"date":"2023-04-05T15:35:37","date_gmt":"2023-04-05T15:35:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/strongermarriages\/?p=3288"},"modified":"2023-04-05T15:35:37","modified_gmt":"2023-04-05T15:35:37","slug":"is-kindness-the-key-to-a-successful-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/strongermarriages\/2023\/04\/is-kindness-the-key-to-a-successful-marriage.html","title":{"rendered":"Is Kindness the Key to a Successful Marriage?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"marriage\"
Pexels.com<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

What makes a good marriage? It\u2019s a question that everyone has thought about, whether they\u2019re newly engaged, married for 30 years, or somewhere in between. Some might say you must find ways to serve each other, putting your spouse\u2019s needs before yours. Another person might add that you should remember you and your spouse are on the same team, and you should fight for your marriage together.<\/p>\n

Someone else may add that you should share each other\u2019s passions, which are all true. You may believe the key to a successful marriage is other things like sexual compatibility, good communication, or not having money issues. Of course, all of these things matter, but when it comes to predicting long-term stability and satisfaction in marriage, kindness is what matters most.<\/p>\n

Kindness doesn\u2019t only mean bringing your spouse a cup of coffee in the morning. Studies show that having a generous mindset and appreciating your spouse\u2019s intentions, even if the execution is off, is essential. For example, your husband might not have been intentionally trying to irritate you by leaving the toilet seat up; he could\u2019ve just forgotten. Perhaps your wife wasn\u2019t late to dinner on purpose, but she had to make a few stops beforehand.<\/p>\n

Instead of being on the lookout for your spouse\u2019s mistakes, look for things you can appreciate and say \u201cthank you\u201d for. Be intentional about showing respect. In humility, as Scripture says, value your spouse above yourself, looking not to your interests by to theirs. Here\u2019s the thing about kindness: It is not something we have or don\u2019t. The Bible says\u00a0kindness comes with our salvation\u00a0as the Holy Spirit transforms our hearts. \u201cThe fruit of the Spirit,\u201d Paul writes, is \u201clove, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,\u00a0gentleness and self-control.\u201d Kindness is available to us all, like all of these other God-given attributes.<\/p>\n

It works like a muscle, getting more robust with use and stronger with prayer. According to a Wall Street Journal article a few months ago, prayer makes a difference, even when one or both partners are unkind. \u201cWhen people pray for the well-being of their spouse when they feel a negative emotion in the marriage, both partners \u2013 the one doing the praying and the one being prayed for \u2013 report greater relationship satisfaction.\u201d<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re annoyed with your spouse \u2013 they left the toilet seat up, were late again, did whatever \u2013 don\u2019t get mad. Try praying for them instead. You\u2019ll both be happier.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What makes a good marriage? It\u2019s a question that everyone has thought about, whether they\u2019re newly engaged, married for 30 years, or somewhere in between. Some might say you must find ways to serve each other, putting your spouse\u2019s needs before yours. Another person might add that you should remember you and your spouse are…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":657,"featured_media":3294,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fbia_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3288","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationships"],"yoast_head":"\nIs Kindness the Key to a Successful Marriage?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Many people have asked what's the key to a successful marriage. While there may be many answers to this question, is kindness one of them?\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/strongermarriages\/2023\/04\/is-kindness-the-key-to-a-successful-marriage.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Is Kindness the Key to a Successful Marriage?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Many people have asked what's the key to a successful marriage. 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