{"id":1716,"date":"2022-11-17T21:36:59","date_gmt":"2022-11-17T21:36:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/strongermarriages\/?p=1716"},"modified":"2022-11-17T21:36:59","modified_gmt":"2022-11-17T21:36:59","slug":"pastor-warns-against-taking-taylor-swift-and-disney-dating-advice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/strongermarriages\/2022\/11\/pastor-warns-against-taking-taylor-swift-and-disney-dating-advice.html","title":{"rendered":"Pastor Warns Against Taking Taylor Swift and Disney Dating Advice"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Shutterstock.com<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Pastor David Marvin of Watermark Community Church in Dallas, Texas warned a group of young adults about \u201c3 Signs You\u2019re not Ready to Date<\/a>\u201d last week and the problems of falling into a dating culture heavily influenced by Disney and music artists like Taylor Swift. Marvin, the pastor of the church\u2019s young adult youth ministries that goes by the name \u201cThe Porch,\u201d outlined three common signs that someone is dating the wrong way. The first mistake he noted was \u201cdating delusional.\u201d He referenced popular dating myths that have been perpetuated by cultural icons like Disney and Taylor Swift. Referencing Disney, he said, \u201cYou\u2019ve been discipled by Disney from the time that you were 5 years old\u2026I love fairy tales. I love a good knight in shining armor. But fairy tales will lie. Fairy tales tell you messages like, \u2018Man, if the shoe fits, it\u2019s just going to be perfect.\u2019 \u2018You’ll live happily ever after.\u2019 Fairy tales communicate the same storyline. There\u2019s always a damsel in distress. She needs to be rescued, and you\u2019re looking for her and you\u2019re going to be the shining armor.\u201d He warned, however, \u201cIn dating relationships and in love, you\u2019re not looking for someone who needs to be rescued. You\u2019re not looking to be the savior of somebody. You\u2019re looking for a partner in life, not a project that you\u2019re going to rescue.\u201d<\/p>\n

The debate has raged about the influence of Disney\u2019s \u201chappily ever after\u201d endings and \u201clove at first sight\u201d storylines. Disney films have often been cited as giving false expectations<\/a> for dating and falling in love. As Patricia Sarkar wrote in an article about Disney\u2019s false expectations, \u201cIf people were more realistic about life, and actually worked to hone their ability to be realistic about love, there would be a lot more happy couples. Moreover, there probably would be less divorce since people would probably realize you need to work in order to make love worth it.\u201d Marvin stressed against the myth of always \u201cfeeling\u201d in love, saying, \u201cHere\u2019s the deal with butterflies\u2014 those fade. Butterflies fly away. If you follow and live for that, you’re going to fall in love seven times a day. \u2026 \u2018Soon after, they got married \u2026 and it was happily ever after in the sunset.\u2019 That has never happened in the history of humanity and existence and marriage. Marriage is amazing, but it takes daily work and dying to self.<\/p>\n

Marvin also took aim at pop icon Taylor Swift\u2019s views on dating, criticizing her song \u201cI Knew You Were Trouble.\u201d \u201cI mean, \u2018I knew you were trouble when you walked in.\u2019 Then, why did you date him? \u2026 Every Taylor Swift song communicates the same thing, \u2018He\u2019s bad for me, but I still like it,\u2019\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

He also warned about \u201cdating dehydrated,\u201d saying that many people date with the expectation that it will cure their loneliness. \u201cDon\u2019t approach dating as a hole, [as in] \u2018I got holes in my life and I\u2019m looking for you to plug and you to fill them.\u2019 Because they won\u2019t be able to,\u201d he warned. Millennials and Gen Z have popularized the idea of \u201csituationships<\/a>,\u201d a type of relationship that is casual in nature yet with a sexual component, similar to the idea of \u201cfriends with benefits.\u201d Yet, despite having casual relationships meant to fill voids of intimacy, loneliness plagues young people at higher rates than other generations<\/a>. Marvin stressed that young people must approach dating as a \u201cwhole person\u201d rather than a \u201chole.\u201d<\/p>\n

Finally, Marvin warned against \u201cdating damaged.\u201d After the events of the COVID-19 pandemic, many researchers are looking at the effects of trauma<\/a> from shut downs on young people. Trauma has become a hot topic among Christians, with books like The Body Keeps the Score<\/em><\/a> changing the way many people approach trauma. Marvin stated that a person looking for a relationship first owes it to their partner to deal with any trauma in their life. \u201cIf you don\u2019t heal from hurts, from cuts, from things that happened to you, you are going to bleed out on people who never hurt you and never cut you,\u201d he said. \u201cOne of the things you have to decide is \u2026 \u2018I\u2019m going to choose to forgive people that have hurt me. I\u2019m not going to carry this anymore. I\u2019m not going to let this person have any more control in my life. I forgive them.\u2019\u201d Marvin has since followed up his sermon with \u201c10 Keys to Uncomplicated Dating<\/a>\u201d to help young people better understand how to pursue relationships.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Pastor David Marvin of Watermark Community Church in Dallas, Texas warned a group of young adults about \u201c3 Signs You\u2019re not Ready to Date\u201d last week and the problems of falling into a dating culture heavily influenced by Disney and music artists like Taylor Swift. Marvin, the pastor of the church\u2019s young adult youth ministries…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":664,"featured_media":1719,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fbia_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1716","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nPastor Warns Against Taking Taylor Swift and Disney Dating Advice<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Pastor David Marvin warns young adults not to take Disney's advice when it comes to dating.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/strongermarriages\/2022\/11\/pastor-warns-against-taking-taylor-swift-and-disney-dating-advice.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" 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