{"id":11033,"date":"2026-08-13T14:04:22","date_gmt":"2026-08-13T14:04:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/strongermarriages\/?p=11033"},"modified":"2026-08-13T14:04:22","modified_gmt":"2026-08-13T14:04:22","slug":"rita-wilson-says-ignoring-her-mothers-old-school-marriage-advice-led-her-to-tom-hanks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/strongermarriages\/2026\/08\/rita-wilson-says-ignoring-her-mothers-old-school-marriage-advice-led-her-to-tom-hanks.html","title":{"rendered":"Rita Wilson Says Ignoring Her Mother\u2019s Old-School Marriage Advice Led Her to Tom Hanks"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DFree \/ Shutterstock.com<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Rita Wilson says she once came surprisingly close to marrying a man she didn\u2019t love \u2014 until she decided to ignore a piece of old-school advice from her mother and wait for something more.<\/p>\n

During a recent appearance on Michelle Obama\u2019s podcast, \u201cIn My Opinion,\u201d the 69-year-old actress revealed that she was engaged before meeting Tom Hanks but had serious doubts about whether she should go through with the marriage.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was engaged before I got engaged to my husband. If I had married that person, I would have been divorced within a year,\u201d Wilson said. \u201cI thought that was what you were supposed to do at a certain age.\u201d<\/p>\n

At the time, Wilson said she had never truly been in love and wondered whether that was something she really needed before getting married.<\/p>\n

She eventually turned to her mother for advice.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know though. Should I marry him? I\u2019m not really in love with him,\u201d Wilson recalled telling her.<\/p>\n

Her mother\u2019s answer surprised her: \u201cDon\u2019t worry, you grow to love him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Wilson immediately knew that approach wasn\u2019t for her.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was like, \u2018Mom, that\u2019s not my generation,\u2019\u201d she said. \u201cHer generation was like, \u2018Is he a good man? Will he provide?\u2019 There wasn\u2019t any of this, \u2018I have to be madly in love.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Wilson acknowledged that her mother\u2019s perspective came from a marriage that clearly had staying power. Her parents were married for 59 years.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhatever they figured out, they figured out,\u201d she said. \u201cBut I still wanted to hold out for that falling in love thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

Wilson ultimately ended the engagement, believing that marriage alone could not save a relationship that was missing something so important.<\/p>\n

Then she fell in love with Hanks.<\/p>\n

The two had previously met as actors but reconnected while filming the comedy \u201cVolunteers\u201d in 1984. Wilson said she immediately recognized that her relationship with Hanks was unlike the one she had nearly settled for.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen I finally met Tom and fell in love with him,” Wilson recalled thinking, \u201cThis is very, very different than what I had before.\u201d<\/p>\n

The couple married in 1988 and have now been together as husband and wife for nearly four decades, becoming one of Hollywood\u2019s most enduring couples.<\/p>\n

Wilson said choosing the right person also mattered when she thought about having children. She wasn\u2019t always certain she wanted to become a mother, but she knew she \u201cdidn\u2019t wanna have children with the wrong people or person.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hanks already had two children, Colin and Elizabeth, from his previous marriage to Samantha Lewes, and Wilson was able to see firsthand what kind of father he was.<\/p>\n

\u201cI already saw that he could be a good dad,\u201d she said. \u201cSo, I was like, \u2018OK, good, that\u2019s helpful. A little example here.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Wilson and Hanks later welcomed sons Chet and Truman together.<\/p>\n

Nearly 40 years later, Wilson\u2019s decision to walk away from a marriage she doubted stands out as a pivotal moment in her life. Rather than hoping love would eventually arrive, she waited until it did \u2014 and found it with Hanks.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Rita Wilson says she once came surprisingly close to marrying a man she didn\u2019t love \u2014 until she decided to ignore a piece of old-school advice from her mother and wait for something more. During a recent appearance on Michelle Obama\u2019s podcast, \u201cIn My Opinion,\u201d the 69-year-old actress revealed that she was engaged before meeting…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":462,"featured_media":11036,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fbia_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11033","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nRita Wilson Says Ignoring Her Mother\u2019s Old-School Marriage Advice Led Her to Tom Hanks<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Rita Wilson reveals the marriage advice she rejected before falling in love with Tom Hanks and building one of Hollywood\u2019s most enduring marriages.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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