{"id":3434,"date":"2013-03-01T09:11:16","date_gmt":"2013-03-01T14:11:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/simplelife\/?p=3434"},"modified":"2013-03-01T09:11:16","modified_gmt":"2013-03-01T14:11:16","slug":"friendship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/simplelife\/2013\/03\/friendship.html","title":{"rendered":"Friendship"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Robert<\/a>Robert Lewis Stevenson expressed an important sentiment regarding friendship. \u00a0He said, “So long as we love, we serve. \u00a0No man is useless while he is a friend.”<\/p>\n

Jesus, however, lifted friendship to a new and holy level when he spoke to his disciple before they moved quickly to the Garden of Gethsemane. \u00a0This was during a time of great joy on the part of the disciples. \u00a0Jesus’s Messianic processional into Jerusalem had occurred only four days before. \u00a0Yet, Jesus knew that within 24 hours he would die one of the most cruel deaths known to mankind.<\/p>\n

\"last<\/a>During the passover supper, Jesus spoke. \u00a0He said, “Greater love has no one than this: that he lay down his life for his friends. \u00a0I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. \u00a0Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you” \u00a0(John 15:13 and 15). \u00a0While the world values and understands the importance of friendship, Jesus put it into a different category. \u00a0He is our friends. \u00a0We are the friends of God. \u00a0We have access to the most confidential communications that develop within the Godhead. \u00a0At this point in time, friendship became a holy act of God’s love extending into the world.<\/p>\n

In addition, because we are friends with God, his love through us can embrace every individual. \u00a0Therefore, we can be lavish with our friendships.<\/p>\n

Studies and common sense tell us there are three levels of friendship. \u00a0They are casual, close and committed.\u00a0\u00a0Casual friends<\/strong>\u00a0are people with whom we have only occasional contact. Nevertheless, there are common interests. \u00a0We are probably concerned about each others’ personal problems. \u00a0Yet, a lack of contact determines that there is little that we can do for each other or about our daily missteps or misgivings.<\/p>\n

The second level is\u00a0close.<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0With these folks, there is regular contact. \u00a0We are willing to be vulnerable, though there may be little opportunity to test that vulnerability. \u00a0There is some shared knowledge of abilities and character qualities. \u00a0You share interest with a close friend. \u00a0In addition, there is sensitivity to the likes, dislikes and weaknesses of each other.<\/p>\n

In a\u00a0committed friendship,<\/strong>\u00a0the two friends enlist each other to devoting quality time. \u00a0There is mutual value in this nonverbal contract. \u00a0While the qualities of a close friendship exists within a committed relationship, there is also freedom to correct flaws. \u00a0Each person experiences the joys and risks of transparency. \u00a0For a committed friendship, there is mutual enrollment at this level of friendship.<\/p>\n

\"friends\"<\/a>Within the mentally challenged community, there is often a lack of intellectual ability to distinguish between a casual friendship and a committed friendship. \u00a0Relationship boundaries are blurred. \u00a0I don’t allow my members to call me “Mama” or “Grandma.” \u00a0These titles denote a closeness that I can never achieve in their lives. \u00a0I’m not their parent and I never will be.<\/p>\n

When a man or women within our cloistered community attends five or six days of retreat or camp, they almost always will be paired with a volunteer whose intellectual abilities falls within the “normal” range. \u00a0The volunteer’s main task during the week is to become friends with the person who is mentally challenged.<\/p>\n

It becomes an important week within the life of both the volunteer and the person who is intellectually disabled–but it is not a time in which a close or committed friendship can be developed. \u00a0After a week of “hanging together,” sleeping in the same cabin and sharing mealtime, there is a bond that issues into a friendship but unless it is taken to the next level, it can never progress beyond the boundaries of a casual friendship. \u00a0This does not mean that the volunteer cannot feel a sense of value that will change his life forever.<\/p>\n

It is much like a short-term missionary experience. \u00a0We\u00a0vacation<\/em>\u00a0in another country, working hard while experiencing the joy and sorrow of a people for a week or two. \u00a0Then we go home, leaving the consequences, the commitment and hard day-to-day endeavors to the people who live in the country where we visited.<\/p>\n

As we approach Camp and Retreat Agape that is held at the end of May, there is an anticipation of the work that lays ahead. \u00a0There is also knowledge that lives will be changed. \u00a0We see our members leaving camp who have renewed their vows to the Lord through the worship experiences. \u00a0We ask our volunteers to hang out with our members,though no one is assigned to any particular person. \u00a0Therefore, the friendships which develop and deepen are typically within the membership. \u00a0Our members “hang loose” with each other and talk for hours. \u00a0They fish and share the joys of\u00a0catching the big one.<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0They do things that may be off-limits to them most of the year. \u00a0They drive go-carts and go on boat rides, play pool, work on crafts and traverse the water slides.<\/p>\n

Friendship is a delicate ballet of hard work, commitment and time. \u00a0Within the confines of the Church body, friendship should not be taken lightly because of Jesus’ injunction to us. \u00a0“You are no longer servants. \u00a0You are my friends.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Robert Lewis Stevenson expressed an important sentiment regarding friendship. \u00a0He said, “So long as we love, we serve. \u00a0No man is useless while he is a friend.” Jesus, however, lifted friendship to a new and holy level when he spoke to his disciple before they moved quickly to the Garden of Gethsemane. \u00a0This was during…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":387,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,20,3,40,220,49,16,8,4,41],"tags":[690,656,21,688,696,657,658,7,699,720,715,701,694,689,57,6,687,700,655],"class_list":["post-3434","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-christianity","category-church","category-developmental-disabilities","category-faith","category-friendship","category-inspiration","category-intellectual-disability","category-mentally-challenged-community","category-simple-truths","category-spirituality","tag-autism-spectrum","tag-casual-friends","tag-christian","tag-christianity","tag-church","tag-close-friendship","tag-committed-friendship","tag-developmental-disabilities-2","tag-faith","tag-friendship","tag-hope","tag-inspiration","tag-intellectual-disability","tag-mentally-challenged-community","tag-prayer","tag-simple-scriptural-truths","tag-simple-truths","tag-spirituality","tag-three-levels-of-friendship"],"yoast_head":"\nFriendship - A Simple Life, a Childlike Faith<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Friendship - A Simple Life, a Childlike Faith\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Robert Lewis Stevenson expressed an important sentiment regarding friendship. \u00a0He said, “So long as we love, we serve. \u00a0No man is useless while he is a friend.” Jesus, however, lifted friendship to a new and holy level when he spoke to his disciple before they moved quickly to the Garden of Gethsemane. \u00a0This was during…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/simplelife\/2013\/03\/friendship.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"A Simple Life, a Childlike Faith\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-03-01T14:11:16+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/specialgathering.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/03\/robert-lewis-stevenson.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda G. 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