{"id":337,"date":"2011-05-09T05:43:40","date_gmt":"2011-05-09T09:43:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/simplelife\/?p=337"},"modified":"2011-05-11T15:37:36","modified_gmt":"2011-05-11T19:37:36","slug":"failing-health-and-other-nick-nacks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/simplelife\/2011\/05\/failing-health-and-other-nick-nacks.html","title":{"rendered":"Failing health and other knicknacks"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sometimes I found myself wanting to treat my husband’s failing health as though it were a knicknack. \u00a0In that way, I could put it on a shelf and forget all about it. \u00a0I fought almost daily with this notion of detachment. \u00a0Psychologist call this “compartmentalization.”<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>In The Special Gathering, which is a ministry within the mentally challenged community, there are three families in crisis at this moment. \u00a0Each story is unique. \u00a0Yet the bottom line is that parents are treating their failing health as though it were a knicknack that they can simply put on a shelf and ignore.<\/p>\n

Often there is a pattern that is followed that goes something like this narrative. \u00a0Diane’s family earnestly prepared for their deaths until the last ten years of their lives. \u00a0At that time, their younger daughter’s life fell apart and the parents needed to provide for her family. \u00a0They poured money and resources into her life and their grandchildren. \u00a0Diane’s sister became complacent, knowing that her parents would provide. \u00a0Then the savings and assets were gone; and the parents naively put \u00a0their failing health on a shelf as though it were a statuette that they could dust and ignore. \u00a0Diane was pushed into crisis mode when both parents died.<\/p>\n

There is a constant debate within churches regarding this problem. \u00a0\"\"<\/a>Pastors and their staff understand that there is little that can be done until we are asked. \u00a0When asked, however, we often jump with the speed of a gazelle. At Special Gathering, families may want their son or daughter to go and live in a group home. \u00a0Among pastors who minister in the \u00a0“normal” \u00a0communities, there is a running debate about nursing home care. \u00a0The cost of personal care giving has been considered the more expensive option. \u00a0However, it may be that personal care is now the more reasonable option.<\/p>\n

Nursing home care has become increasingly difficult as Medicare and Medicaid funds are continually being cut. \u00a0What may not be known by most people is that hospital workers and physicians are not able to give direction or advice because of legal consideration; but they can answer questions. \u00a0Therefore, whether you are reaching “that” age or your parents are becoming more feeble, you need to be prepared to ask the right questions and know what is available for good health care. \u00a0Here are six things which help.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Establish a working relationship with the office personnel in your family’s physicians’ office. \u00a0These nursing and clerical staff can often give you more information that your doctor, who may be bound by more stringent legal restraints regarding the information they can freely give to you.<\/li>\n
  2. Become familiar with the systems of support in your community and the community of your family members. \u00a0Each state is different. \u00a0In Florida, each district is unique and may handle a problems in a diverse manners.<\/li>\n
  3. Make sure that your family members understand that you are there to help in the times of crisis. \u00a0Keep in touch with them often. \u00a0Then when they need you, they will know that you want to hear from them.<\/li>\n
  4. Understand that most older individuals will cling to their independence too long. \u00a0Look for times and ways to lovingly intervene.<\/li>\n
  5. Before the crisis, speak opening and honestly with your family about what they may face in the future. \u00a0This is a touchy subject and it requires tact on your part. \u00a0You may be able to get your point across in conversations that family members initiate regarding other families who have faced an emergency situation in the past.<\/li>\n
  6. Reestablish broken family relationships. \u00a0This is usually easier than we think. \u00a0Come with humility and honesty. \u00a0Regret usually follows a death and regret is a bitter tasting pill that can never be fully swallowed when the person has died.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    \"\"<\/a>We have found that when there is a crisis, our phone number is frequently put on speed dial because families within the developmentally disabled community trust us. \u00a0They know that we care.<\/p>\n

    Remember, there are no easy answers. \u00a0In a crisis you may find that there are no right answers, only unfortunate options. \u00a0 “Too often,” Richard Stimson, our executive director, \u00a0has said, “there are also\u00a0no good<\/strong> answers to bring the situation into resolution.” \u00a0We must choose between two or more bad solutions.<\/p>\n

    Failing health should never be treated as a nick-nack that goes on the shelf no matter how inconvenient it may be at the time. \u00a0Crisis seems to fall at the most inconvenient times and crises cannot be ignored.<\/p>\n

    What are some ways of the beneficial things you have learned in the middle of health crisis? \u00a0What other crisis events have crashed into your life?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Sometimes I found myself wanting to treat my husband’s failing health as though it were a knicknack. \u00a0In that way, I could put it on a shelf and forget all about it. \u00a0I fought almost daily with this notion of detachment. \u00a0Psychologist call this “compartmentalization.” In The Special Gathering, which is a ministry within the…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":387,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,20,3,40,16,11,28,12,4,41],"tags":[690,21,688,696,7,699,86,701,13,694,19,689,692,700],"class_list":["post-337","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-christianity","category-church","category-developmental-disabilities","category-faith","category-intellectual-disability","category-intellectually-disabled","category-mentally-challenged","category-religion","category-simple-truths","category-spirituality","tag-autism-spectrum","tag-christian","tag-christianity","tag-church","tag-developmental-disabilities-2","tag-faith","tag-health","tag-inspiration","tag-intellectual-disabilities","tag-intellectual-disability","tag-mental-retardation","tag-mentally-challenged-community","tag-religion","tag-spirituality"],"yoast_head":"\nFailing health and other knicknacks - A Simple Life, a Childlike Faith<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Failing health and other knicknacks - A Simple Life, a Childlike Faith\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Sometimes I found myself wanting to treat my husband’s failing health as though it were a knicknack. \u00a0In that way, I could put it on a shelf and forget all about it. \u00a0I fought almost daily with this notion of detachment. \u00a0Psychologist call this “compartmentalization.” In The Special Gathering, which is a ministry within the…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/simplelife\/2011\/05\/failing-health-and-other-nick-nacks.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"A Simple Life, a Childlike Faith\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-05-09T09:43:40+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2011-05-11T19:37:36+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/simplelife\/files\/2011\/05\/Enchanted-Elegant-Collection-Display-Cabinet-112-Scale-by-Enchanticals1.jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda G. 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