{"id":2561,"date":"2012-04-17T21:22:38","date_gmt":"2012-04-18T01:22:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/simplelife\/?p=2561"},"modified":"2012-04-17T21:22:38","modified_gmt":"2012-04-18T01:22:38","slug":"the-collapse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/simplelife\/2012\/04\/the-collapse.html","title":{"rendered":"The collapse"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>This morning the Shuttle Discovery left Kennedy Space Center, riding piggy back on a 747 airplane. \u00a0I was totally unprepared for my own reaction. \u00a0This final flight means the space program is officially over for the US.<\/p>\n

As the shuttle passed over our home, I cried. \u00a0It was as though I was losing another part of my husband, who worked for NASA for 45 years.<\/p>\n

The grieving cycle fascinates me. \u00a0I\u2019ve studied it for years and tried to understand the process. \u00a0During this past year, I\u2019ve found myself marveling at my reaction to my own grieving. \u00a0I cry at the most unexpected times and for the most fascinating reasons. \u00a0On Resurrection Day, I cried because I realized that this would be my husband\u2019s first time to celebrate this day in heaven.<\/p>\n

Later in the day, I cried because I no longer have to be worried about him. \u00a0For seven years, each time I left the house, I prepared myself to find him dead when I came home. \u00a0This was a sub-conscious reaction but it was extremely real. \u00a0On our anniversary, earlier this year, I cried because I was so angry that he died a few months before our 50th anniversary. \u00a0Silly, of course. \u00a0But a reality.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>During the years my husband was ill, I continued to work. \u00a0For five years, I did a daily blog. \u00a0Even during the 9 months that he was dying, I continued the grind. \u00a0Since Christmas of 2011, I have not been able to keep up the schedule of blogging each day.<\/p>\n

For about a month, I fretted about my failure to do the work that I\u2019d committed myself to do. \u00a0A couple of weeks ago, I realized that this is probably another result of my grieving. \u00a0During Frank\u2019s sickness, I continued to continue. \u00a0Now, physical tiredness has caught up with me. \u00a0I am simply tired.<\/p>\n

\u201cI wonder how I was Frank\u2019s full-time caregiver and I still worked full-time,\u201d I said to a partner in ministry a couple of weeks ago. \u00a0\u201dI can\u2019t get my work done; and I don\u2019t have the extra stress of taking care of my husband.\u201d \u00a0Verbalizing my inability to do the work helped me to pick up the issue, hold it to the light and examine it in a realistic way.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>I\u2019m swimming through another grieving level. \u00a0This one is physical exhaustion. \u00a0Each evening, I feel like collapsing rather picking up another project or turning on the computer to write.<\/p>\n

There are times we are simply\u00a0tired. \u00a0Your reason may not be grief but some other concern. \u00a0Perhaps this is God\u2019s cue to you that it\u2019s time for you to trim back and rest.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This morning the Shuttle Discovery left Kennedy Space Center, riding piggy back on a 747 airplane. \u00a0I was totally unprepared for my own reaction. \u00a0This final flight means the space program is officially over for the US. As the shuttle passed over our home, I cried. \u00a0It was as though I was losing another part…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":387,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,20,40,186,49,16,4],"tags":[688,699,693,715,701,98,709,373,6],"class_list":["post-2561","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-christianity","category-church","category-faith","category-hope","category-inspiration","category-intellectual-disability","category-simple-truths","tag-christianity","tag-faith","tag-grief","tag-hope","tag-inspiration","tag-kennedy-space-center","tag-leadership","tag-shuttle-discovery","tag-simple-scriptural-truths"],"yoast_head":"\nThe collapse - A Simple Life, a Childlike Faith<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/simplelife\/2012\/04\/the-collapse.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The collapse - A Simple Life, a Childlike Faith\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"This morning the Shuttle Discovery left Kennedy Space Center, riding piggy back on a 747 airplane. \u00a0I was totally unprepared for my own reaction. \u00a0This final flight means the space program is officially over for the US. As the shuttle passed over our home, I cried. \u00a0It was as though I was losing another part…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/simplelife\/2012\/04\/the-collapse.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"A Simple Life, a Childlike Faith\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-04-18T01:22:38+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/specialgathering.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/04\/shuttle-today.jpg?w=210&h=137\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Linda G. Howard\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"The collapse - A Simple Life, a Childlike Faith","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/simplelife\/2012\/04\/the-collapse.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"The collapse - A Simple Life, a Childlike Faith","og_description":"This morning the Shuttle Discovery left Kennedy Space Center, riding piggy back on a 747 airplane. \u00a0I was totally unprepared for my own reaction. \u00a0This final flight means the space program is officially over for the US. 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