I hadn’t taken a group yoga class for years.\u00a0 I’d see places I’d like to take, but nothing fit with my schedule or it would be something with the kids.\u00a0 Really, I learned it’s easy not to\u00a0take classes where you don’t know anyone.\u00a0 I did the same yoga DVD during my last pregnancy.\u00a0 It was so comforting.\u00a0 It was not a challenge, it was a constant.\u00a0 Do I like a challenge?\u00a0 It depends.<\/p>\n
When I first got down to that mat on the beach, I remembered I’m not that flexible.\u00a0 I had forgotten that despite my might, I couldn’t force through poses, like persistence in exercise.\u00a0 It was more like an unfolding.\u00a0I was so grateful I don’t live in competition or I’d feel like a loser when yogis melted into pretzel shapes.\u00a0My body and practice is mine and theirs is separate, if I focus on them, I will fall or get hurt,\u00a0or not\u00a0achieve my personal best and see the glory in just showing up and trying. I fell\u00a0instantly in soul sister love with the teacher, Cailin Callahan, of Golden Buddha Yoga, and felt at ease in her presence.\u00a0 Some teachers feel like home.\u00a0 It was a few loves coming together that day, my love of the beach, sunshine, connection with the Divine, yoga, and movement with my body.\u00a0 Then I decided to take a Kundalini yoga which I\u00a0knew would be a challenge.\u00a0 When we had to “Sat Nam” with our arms flappin’ like we were trying to take off, I didn’t know if I’d be able to do it.\u00a0Doubt monsters were showing up big in that workshop and I ignored them and they disappeared.<\/p>\n
I showed up at Hip Hop yoga and\u00a0saw that in groups I can\u00a0 be shy in the beginning, when they ask\u00a0you to say your name and all the intro stuff, I have to tell my inner teenage dork that A.\u00a0 We’re cool.\u00a0 and B.\u00a0 We’re gown up now.\u00a0 (We’ll not really, but we look like a grown up.)\u00a0 I bust out of my shell and let myself push through, thrive, and let the fire out.\u00a0 Those two workshops with Cailin were some of the highlights of my summer.<\/p>\n
I continued to do yoga and push through my own “limitations.”\u00a0 In one class, two weeks ago, anxiety tried to kick my ass.\u00a0 I had to fight with myself the whole class. It was surrender and prayer, me and God the whole time.<\/p>\n
My yoga practice teaches me it’s the balance of challenge and to be.\u00a0 Ebb and flow.\u00a0 The tide crashes and begins again.\u00a0 I must be flexible.\u00a0 Adapt.\u00a0 I’m afraid to fall.\u00a0 I’m afraid to not succeed. I’m afraid I’ll get hurt.\u00a0 Ahh…the gems of awareness.<\/p>\n
Today, we\u00a0had gnats\u00a0that were flying around and drinking up my sweat\u00a0from the sweltering\u00a0sun on\u00a0my brow.\u00a0 I\u00a0wouldn’t leave, no matter if one flew up my nose. (Close calls there.)\u00a0 During shavasana, while we lay on our back, still as in meditation, my peace was not disturbed.\u00a0 Magically the gnats were\u00a0 gone.\u00a0 There was an itch In my psyche that made me see I’m afraid of peace.\u00a0 I’m afraid of too much peace, because then I’ll ultimately have a big wave crash and destroy it.\u00a0 This could be\u00a0the gnats in my life like tantrums from my four year old or problems in business.<\/p>\n
I love seeing how much more I know, understand, and grow when I’m honest.\u00a0 I am going to carry this into the upcoming school year with my kids.\u00a0 I’m not going to go through the motions. I’m going to balance the dance of challenging myself\u00a0and\u00a0just being, allowing more of my brilliance to bloom. Thank you.\u00a0 I love you, Universe. Sometimes you just gotta get up, stretch out of your comfort zone and just try.\u00a0 Just show up.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I hadn’t taken a group yoga class for years.\u00a0 I’d see places I’d like to take, but nothing fit with my schedule or it would be something with the kids.\u00a0 Really, I learned it’s easy not to\u00a0take classes where you don’t know anyone.\u00a0 I did the same yoga DVD during my last pregnancy.\u00a0 It was…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":568,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[24,23,22,8,25,21],"class_list":["post-174","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-balance","tag-beach","tag-self-awareness","tag-self-growth","tag-wellness","tag-yoga"],"yoast_head":"\n