{"id":398,"date":"2010-04-08T08:45:49","date_gmt":"2010-04-08T08:45:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/roddreher\/2010\/04\/me-the-billion-year-old-blogger.html"},"modified":"2010-04-08T08:45:49","modified_gmt":"2010-04-08T08:45:49","slug":"me-the-billion-year-old-blogger","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/roddreher\/2010\/04\/me-the-billion-year-old-blogger.html","title":{"rendered":"I, Codger, iCodger"},"content":{"rendered":"

I forgot to tell you that yesterday, when I walked into the Apple store with my 10 year old Matthew, and I beheld all the twentysomething nerdling staffers pootling about, I felt about a billion years old. “Can I help you, sir?” this one staffer asks me.
\n“Um, yeah, said I, I’m trying to find one of those, um, things you, uh” — (please, Earth, open your mouth and swallow me whole now)<\/i> — “you know, those things that you need to get wi-fi at home. Airport Express. That thing.”
\n“We have them right here.”
\nI kid you not, I felt like I ought to hike up my Depend or something. How the hell did I get so old? Every word coming out of my mouth sounded like something my dad would say. “What the hell is a Talking Head?” “How come they call them Thompson Twins when there’s three of them?”<\/em> He really did ask me those questions once upon a time, and I just rolled my eyes. Old people. And now, le vieux, c’est moi.<\/i>
\nAs if that weren’t enough, this morning I was fiddling around with some software issue on the fambly iMac, and having no success. These actual words came out of my mouth: “Honey, go wake Matthew up and see if he can make this work.”
\nMatthew, as I said, is ten. I am already turning to my pre-teen for help with tech issues.
\nI wonder what vodka tastes like in Ensure…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I forgot to tell you that yesterday, when I walked into the Apple store with my 10 year old Matthew, and I beheld all the twentysomething nerdling staffers pootling about, I felt about a billion years old. “Can I help you, sir?” this one staffer asks me. “Um, yeah, said I, I’m trying to find…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":26,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-398","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-technology","category-varia"],"yoast_head":"\nI, Codger, iCodger - Rod Dreher<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/roddreher\/2010\/04\/me-the-billion-year-old-blogger.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I, Codger, iCodger - 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