{"id":57,"date":"2010-03-05T05:00:00","date_gmt":"2010-03-05T05:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/redletters\/2010\/03\/thin-places-a-memoir.html"},"modified":"2010-03-05T05:00:00","modified_gmt":"2010-03-05T05:00:00","slug":"thin-places-a-memoir","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/redletters\/2010\/03\/thin-places-a-memoir.html","title":{"rendered":"Thin Places: A Memoir"},"content":{"rendered":"

I'm going to start using Fridays as days to introduce you to life-changing books you MUST<\/strong><\/em> read by some of the most amazing people on the planet. Not every Friday, but I'll do my best.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Mary DeMuth<\/span><\/span><\/a> is going to kick us off with her new non-fiction release, <\/span><\/span>Thin Places: A Memoir<\/span><\/span><\/a>. I had the privilege to endorse this book and one of the things I said is about it is, "I'm not the same after reading this book." Mary writes about hard issues of abuse she experienced in her childhood. It's not something many people want to deal with. But not only has she dealt with it, she's used her story to bring healing into the lives of others. I sat down with her to ask a few questions about her life and why she wrote the <\/span><\/span>Thin Places<\/span><\/span><\/a>. You can <\/span><\/span>click here to jump right in and read the first chapter.<\/a><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

What trials did you face as a child? <\/span><\/span>\"Thin<\/a> <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

Childhood sexual abuse at five, Parents with addictions, Feelings of being unwanted, An unsafe home, neglect, death of a parent, lonliness, suicidal thoughts and three divorces. <\/span><\/span><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

It's hard to write all that out and not feel bad for little me. But even in the recounting, I\u2019ve been able to see the thin places in my life, those snatches of moments where God came near. That\u2019s the message and hope of Thin Places, being able to see the nearness of God amidst heartache.<\/p>\n

<\/span>
\nWhat compelled you to write Thin Places?<\/span><\/em><\/strong>
\nI felt sufficiently healed from my past, which had been a long, long journey. And in that healing, I knew I had the perspective I needed to be able to communicate my story with hope. In the past, I\u2019d vomit my story of sexual abuse and neglect on any poor soul who\u2019d listen, not with the intention to help her grow through her story, but to gain empathy. <\/p>\n

But now I marvel at the path God\u2019s brought me on, how gently He\u2019s led me to this place of wholeness. From that abundance, I share my story. Why? Because I believe sharing the truth about our stories helps others see their own stories. <\/p>\n

While I recorded the audio book for Thin Places, the producer asked me why I\u2019d splay my life out this way.<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause I don\u2019t want folks to feel alone,\u201d I told him.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve given a gift,\u201d he said. I sure hope so.<\/p>\n

<\/span>
\nIn this memoir you give readers a candid glimpse into your upbringing. Was it hard to share particular parts of your story?
<\/span>
\n<\/em><\/strong>In some ways, it was easy. I\u2019ve shared my story over a decade now. What was hard was giving myself permission to say it all, to not hold back, to explore the emotions I experienced during the rapes, the drug parties, the feelings of loneliness. <\/p>\n

Oddly, though, it was harder for me to share what I\u2019m dealing with now as a result of my upbringing than the actual initial trauma. It\u2019s hard to admit that I\u2019m still so needy, so insecure. After reading the book aloud, I saw I still had areas of growth, particularly in being so hard on myself. <\/p>\n

<\/span>
\nWhat do you hope readers gain from reading your memoir?
<\/span>
\n<\/em><\/strong>I hope they see hope. <\/p>\n

I hope they realize how profound and surprising and radical God\u2019s redemption is. <\/p>\n

I hope they\u2019ll see the irresistibility of Jesus.<\/p>\n

Some folks wait until grandparents and parents are deceased until they write a memoir, but you wrote yours with some still alive. Was that difficult? <\/p>\n

Extremely. In many ways, agonizing. You can be assured that I prayed through every word. I\u2019m thankful for my critique group who walked me through the writing and my stellar editor who helped shape the manuscript into a redemptive story. My goal was not to impugn or point the finger at what went wrong way back when, but to shout about God\u2019s ability to transform a needy, incomplete girl.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s never easy to tell the truth, and I know my words may hurt some. But, thankfully, I\u2019ve sought God\u2019s heart in this and I can rest peacefully in knowing that.<\/p>\n

Anne Lamott says, \u201cRisk being unliked. Tell the truth as you understand it. If you\u2019re a writer, you have a moral obligation to do this. And it is a revolutionary act\u2014truth is always subversive.\u201d <\/p>\n

Thin Places is my answer to her quote.<\/p>\n

<\/span>
\nBut why go there? Why examine the past? Hasn\u2019t the old passed away?
<\/span>
\n<\/em><\/strong>Yes, of course we must move forward. We must move beyond our pasts. But in order to do that, we must mourn the reality of what happened, not bury it under a rug. I love what Sam says in The Two Towers movie about the importance of telling our stories, no matter how dark: \u201cIt\u2019s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn\u2019t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad has happened? But in the end, it\u2019s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you.\u201d <\/p>\n

It\u2019s my sincere hope that my story will stay with readers, not because of its sordidness, but because the Light of Jesus has shined so brightly upon it.<\/span>
<\/em><\/strong><\/span>
\n<\/em><\/span><\/strong>
\n
<\/span>
\nWhat fears have you battled as this book released?
<\/span>
\n<\/em><\/strong>Because this is such a personal book, I\u2019ve worried about negative reviews. In some ways that\u2019s good because it will force me to find my security and love from the One who made me, rather than the opinions of others. I\u2019ve received some great endorsements, but also some harsh reviews. And those are the ones that knife me! Because the book\u2019s about me! <\/p>\n

I worry that I\u2019ll be misunderstood. Or that telling the truth will hurt others. I\u2019ve made a point to disguise nearly everyone and everything in the book, but of course the potential for hurt feelings is high.<\/p>\n

I fear opposition by the father of lies. Since this is a truth-filled book, displaying authentic struggle, I have a feeling he won\u2019t like it. I\u2019m thankful for a specific, targeted prayer team around me to pray for protection regarding the release of this book. It\u2019s humbling, actually, to see how God brought those pray-ers together.
<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/font><\/font>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

\"IMG_1173\"<\/span><\/a>
<\/span><\/span><\/font><\/p>\n


\n<\/span><\/span><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

How does your past affect your relationship with God?<\/span><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Primarily, I have a hard time internalizing and believing
\nthat I am wildly loved by God. But I\u2019ve learned that He has deep affection for
\nme and I don\u2019t have to measure up to some invisible standard to earn his
\naffection. My past has obviously influenced that. <\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Where was God in your abuse?<\/span><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

It\u2019s such a difficult question, and I don\u2019t want to gloss
\nover it. I\u2019ve had to rest in his sovereignty. He was there. I know He was
\nweeping over me when it happened. But he loved humanity enough to give them
\nfree will. And then, he knew I would be a healing part of other people\u2019s life.
\nHe saw how it would lay out. I didn\u2019t know. <\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Because of what happened in your past, how do you view
\nevil in the world?<\/span><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

I am more attuned to evil. I\u2019m really aware of the demonic
\nschemes that happen to me and other people. It\u2019s helped me not to be naive and
\nhave empathy on people because the battle isn\u2019t against people but against
\nprincipalities and powers. It\u2019s also helped me to see perpetrators in a way
\nthat I can forgive them. They opened the door to evil when they did that. There
\nwas an evil force at play. If someone makes bad choices it opens the door to
\nthat. It makes me long heaven.<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

What would you say to people who come from abusive
\nbackgrounds about trusting God? What if they can\u2019t? What if they believe He
\nallowed this to happen to them? <\/span><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

In Hebrews 12 it says, \u201cFor the joy set before him Jesus
\nendured the cross.\u201d Even Jesus had to walk through the most awful horrific pain
\nto accomplish God\u2019s purpose on earth. He did it for the joy set before him. As
\na follower of Christ, I\u2019m not guaranteed bad things aren\u2019t going to happen.
\nThey will. But my hope is in the joy that's to come.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Think about it this way, what if your life could make a huge
\ndifference in the world? People get so locked in to their pain they can\u2019t see
\nanything outside of it. What if Jesus wanted to heal them to be a healing agent
\nin the world? There are so many lives they could change. God\u2019s shoulders are
\nbig enough to hold every rage your can throw at him. He already knows you\u2019re
\ndisappointed, and upset, let him know. After that Peace comes. <\/span><\/p>\n

<\/font><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I'm going to start using Fridays as days to introduce you to life-changing books you MUST read by some of the most amazing people on the planet. Not every Friday, but I'll do my best. Mary DeMuth is going to kick us off with her new non-fiction release, Thin Places: A Memoir. 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