{"id":940,"date":"2011-06-03T06:00:20","date_gmt":"2011-06-03T06:00:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/projectconversion.com\/?p=940"},"modified":"2011-06-03T06:00:20","modified_gmt":"2011-06-03T06:00:20","slug":"project-conversion-testimony-of-a-wife","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/projectconversion\/2011\/06\/project-conversion-testimony-of-a-wife.html","title":{"rendered":"Project Conversion: Testimony of a Wife"},"content":{"rendered":"

The question I get asked the most regarding Project Conversion: What do you think of it? I\u2019m going to be completely honest here\u2026personally, I hate<\/em> it.<\/p>\n

I love the concept and the purpose of PC. I love anything that will bring different faiths together, however I wish I could be an outsider.\u00a0 I would enjoy the project much more if I wasn\u2019t directly affected by it. That sounds selfish, doesn\u2019t it? Truthfully, I am being selfish because I want my husband back and my children want their Daddy back. You have to understand that for the past\u00a0eight years\u00a0Andrew and I have been together and the past 6 years that he has been their father, we\u2019ve always<\/em> come first. Since January 1st<\/sup>, 2011, we\u2019ve been second and that\u2019s a hard adjustment.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not saying the whole\u00a0thing is\u00a0horrible. It\u2019s definitely been a learning experience for both of our daughters and myself. I love to read comments of how PC has touched someone\u2019s life. I am so incredibly proud of my husband for what he is doing. He is giving himself 110% to this cause to bridge the gap between religions and he deserves to be\u00a0recognized for his efforts.\u00a0 How can I be so proud and yet hold so much resentment? I don\u2019t know. Some days are easier than others. But some days I just wish I could wake up and it would be Jan 1, 2012 and PC\u00a0is finished.<\/p>\n

Project Conversion has so many followers and I\u2019m grateful for each of you who read Andrew\u2019s posts day after day, but there\u2019s just so much that you guys don\u2019t see. Yes, he\u2019s touched on some of these issues in his posts, but it goes so much deeper. You don\u2019t see the amount of time he puts into PC. You don\u2019t see him spend 12 out of 14 waking hours attached to books, trips, or\u00a0the laptop. You don\u2019t have to explain to my children why Daddy won\u2019t come play with them because he\u2019s too busy researching his new religion. You don\u2019t have to be the bad guy and tell him \u201cNo, we don\u2019t have the money for you to drive 2 hours to attend yet another<\/em>\u00a0religious service,\u201d or \u201cNo, I\u2019m sorry it\u2019s not possible for you to go spend a week at a Buddhist Monastery because oh yeah, I have to work and someone has to be with the kids.\u201d You don\u2019t have to suffer through moods that change like the weather depending on\u00a0if he is \u201cconnecting\u201d with that month\u2019s particular faith.\u00a0 And the first week of each month, the children and I might as well just disappear\u2026he probably wouldn\u2019t even notice.<\/p>\n

I was so na\u00efve when PC started. I thought my biggest concern would be him shaving his head in May and wearing a turban in September. How I wish my concerns were that small. January and February were good months. I absolutely loved the Hindu and Baha\u2019i Andrew. He was patient, kind, compassionate. I thought PC was going to be really good for him. He was a better parent. He included the girls in as many rituals as he could. Our daughters loved Hinduism. You can still find them chanting \u201cOm namah Shiva\u201d. They liked helping Daddy \u201cpaint his face\u201d. They were so curious and asked so many questions.\u00a0 But along came March and everything changed. As you know from reading his Zoroastrian posts, he had problems connecting with the faith\u2026which led to anger, frustration, and lack of patience. In short it was pre-project conversion Andrew, but a million times worse.<\/p>\n

Our daughters\u2019 curiosity has lessened because there was no longer time or patience to answer their questions. Andrew is trying so hard to grasp the religion for himself there\u2019s no time left to include them. \u00a0The month that has been the most difficult for me was May, Buddhism.\u00a0 I struggled with the fact that Buddhism is a very introverted faith.\u00a0He just seems so far off sometimes, in some distant world. Many times it seemed as though the girls and I lived alone. There was very little talking, and what talking there was usually ended up in an argument.\u00a0 I struggled with the non-theistic aspect of Buddhism. It hurt me when I heard the words \u201cI don\u2019t believe in a God\u201d (because many Buddhists don\u2019t) come out of his mouth, but what hurt even more was that my five year old who loves God heard those words come out of her Daddy\u2019s mouth.<\/p>\n

Honestly, living with Andrew during this year of Project Conversion is like living with a schizophrenic. In any given month, I don\u2019t know how he\u2019ll act, I don\u2019t know what he believes\/doesn\u2019t believe, I don\u2019t know what he\u2019ll eat, I don\u2019t know how he\u2019ll dress, and I don\u2019t even know how he will interact with myself or our children. We never know who we\u2019ll be dealing with, and it\u2019s so difficult.<\/p>\n

I love my husband with all\u00a0my heart and soul. He completes me. His religious preferences have not and will not ever affect our relationship. I am a deeply committed follower of Jesus and just because Andrew doesn\u2019t share in my faith doesn\u2019t mean I love him any less; nor am I trying to convert him to Christianity.<\/p>\n

Project Conversion isn\u2019t about me, and I\u2019m not trying to make it about me. I am fully aware that some of you will read this and think I am insanely possessive and selfish\u2026and that\u2019s okay. I just miss my husband.<\/p>\n

I have always been Andrew\u2019s biggest supporter and that won\u2019t change. I just want you\u00a0to see the other side of PC. I want you to know that it\u2019s more than reading a few religious texts and making blog posts about them. It\u2019s also more than wearing a funny hat, or having a new hairstyle each month.\u00a0 When he tells you that every moment is spent eating, breathing and sleeping PC, believe him. He\u2019s telling the truth. On days when I\u2019m having a particularly hard time adjusting to being pushed down the priority line, he will recognize my struggle and ask \u201cDo you want me to quit?\u201d and I honestly believe that if I said \u201cyes, I have had all I can take\u201d, he would make a post letting you guys know that would be\u00a0his last. But don\u2019t worry, I won\u2019t do that. Project Conversion is too big and is making a positive impact on too many lives for me to put a stop to it. But listen up: December 31st<\/sup>, 2011 at 11:59 p.m\u2026I\u2019m taking my husband back.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The question I get asked the most regarding Project Conversion: What do you think of it? I\u2019m going to be completely honest here\u2026personally, I hate it. I love the concept and the purpose of PC. I love anything that will bring different faiths together, however I wish I could be an outsider.\u00a0 I would enjoy…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":437,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[16,96,233,245],"class_list":["post-940","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fringe","tag-andrew-bowen","tag-family","tag-project-conversion","tag-religion"],"yoast_head":"\nProject Conversion: Testimony of a Wife - Project Conversion<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/projectconversion\/2011\/06\/project-conversion-testimony-of-a-wife.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Project Conversion: Testimony of a Wife - Project Conversion\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The question I get asked the most regarding Project Conversion: What do you think of it? I\u2019m going to be completely honest here\u2026personally, I hate it. I love the concept and the purpose of PC. 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