{"id":2256,"date":"2012-01-20T11:28:51","date_gmt":"2012-01-20T11:28:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/projectconversion\/?p=2256"},"modified":"2012-01-20T11:28:51","modified_gmt":"2012-01-20T11:28:51","slug":"domestic-dharma-how-unchecked-personal-goals-threaten-what-really-matters","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/projectconversion\/2012\/01\/domestic-dharma-how-unchecked-personal-goals-threaten-what-really-matters.html","title":{"rendered":"Domestic Dharma: How Unchecked Personal Goals Threaten What Really Matters"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>We&#8217;ve talked a lot lately about purpose, dharma, and destiny. This is what makes us who we are, what we&#8217;re designed for, and the sort of life we are meant to lead. In one post, Moses taught us how fear and self-doubt cripple our capacity to recognize our path in life. In the last post, Lord Krishna taught Prince Arjuna in the Bhagavad Gita how duty, love, and selfless service&#8211;even in the face of great adversity&#8211;are the foundations of our lives.<\/p>\n<p>In time we&#8217;ll visit other great heroes of religion and philosophy who overcame great trials and sacrifices to fulfill their purpose, dharma, and destiny. But last night I learned about this month&#8217;s topic from a new angle, and it came from an unexpected place:<\/p>\n<p>Movie night with my wife and kids.<!--more--><\/p>\n<p>The first movie, <em>Dolphin Tale<\/em>, is about an 11-year-old boy who discovers and helps care for an injured dolphin. Through dedication, selfless love and compassion, he helps save the dolphin&#8217;s life with a prosthetic tale fin. Through his efforts, he inspired thousands of amputees.<\/p>\n<p>All because he loved another creature, equally, selflessly and without any thought of reward.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;<strong>Those who possess this wisdom [that God or the Self is in all] have equal regard for all. They see the same Self in a spiritual aspirant and an outcast, in an elephant, a cow, and a dog. Such people have mastered life.<\/strong>&#8221; Lord Krishna, the Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 5: 18-19<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Lesson #1. We aren&#8217;t just built to show compassion, love, and selfless service to our own species, but to all life. What that boy and dolphin shared was a relationship between two sentient beings. This is why ecosystems exist, this is why symbiotic relationships thrive in nature.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;<strong>The highest religion is to rise to universal brotherhood, and to consider all creatures your equal.<\/strong>&#8221; &#8211;Guru Nanak<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>It&#8217;s why you feel okay talking to your favorite pet or even a tree. Life listens to itself&#8211;feels itself&#8211;because in reality, there&#8217;s no difference. Before we can chase the &#8220;big&#8221; purpose in our lives, our hopes and dreams, we have to get the basics right.<\/p>\n<p>We have to understand our domestic dharma.<\/p>\n<p>Think of your domestic dharama as the factory settings on your life. This is the basic platform upon which all customizations are made.<\/p>\n<p>The second film, called <em>Courageous<\/em>, had a more Christian bent. Here we have the story of five fathers who make a public pledge to become the best fathers possible&#8211;the ones they feel God has called them to be via the Bible. Even though the acting and plot was really heavy on the religious side, it really hit a key point that many of us as parents are missing.<\/p>\n<p>Our domestic dharma involves raising and being a loving, nurturing part of our families. Husbands, wives, sisters, sons, the uncle who lives upon the garage and won&#8217;t move out&#8211;all are part of what it means to live and be part of the human organism.<\/p>\n<p>Scripture and writings from the faiths and philosophies of the world drip with this stuff. Here&#8217;s a sampling:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;<strong>He [God] established the law of marriage, made it as a fortress for well-being and salvation&#8230;<\/strong>&#8221; Baha&#8217;u&#8217;llah, Baha&#8217;i Prayers<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;<strong>O people, We [God] created you from a male and female, and We made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another.<\/strong>&#8221; &#8211;al-Qur&#8217;an 49: 13<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;<strong>Through compassion and devotion to other people, through universal love, life is filled with peace and joy.<\/strong>&#8220;&#8211;the Buddha<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;<strong>A new command I give you: Love one another.<\/strong>&#8220;&#8211;Jesus, gospel of John 13:34<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;<strong>Let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honor and humility, mirth and reverence within you, for these are the gifts I offer to all my children.<\/strong>&#8220;&#8211;Charge of the Goddess (Wicca)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Time and again we are called to love one another, serve one another, show compassion for one another. But I think we&#8217;ve gotten it backwards in some ways, haven&#8217;t we? We&#8217;ve forgotten that our lives aren&#8217;t manifest for goals or dreams or that big promotion, but for one another.<\/p>\n<p>We are not islands, so why are we living that way?<\/p>\n<p>As I look back on everything I&#8217;ve done and everything I&#8217;m working on, I realize that if I reach my deathbed even having achieved my highest goal: inter-religious peace, it will be for nothing if I&#8217;ve put aside my family in the process. For what good is a world I build if I haven&#8217;t trained my children how to occupy and care for it?<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s all about ego. We desperately chase our vision of purpose and destiny, but we fail to remember that our core purpose is right here at home. That&#8217;s where the magic happens. That&#8217;s where dreams are launched from.<\/p>\n<p>Humanity&#8211;all sentient life&#8211;is designed or machined via evolution for relationships. We exist in an economy of intimate interaction, and love, compassion, and selfless service are the currencies.<\/p>\n<p>What are you placing in front of your domestic dharma? Is your career great but your marriage or partnership failing? Perhaps you&#8217;re a single parent whose dating life is eclipsing time with your kids. Are your dreams drowning your duties?<\/p>\n<p>There&#8217;s nothing wrong with discovering and manifesting our personal dharma, but as with all great things, we must ensure the foundation is well-constructed.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We&#8217;ve talked a lot lately about purpose, dharma, and destiny. This is what makes us who we are, what we&#8217;re designed for, and the sort of life we are meant to lead. In one post, Moses taught us how fear and self-doubt cripple our capacity to recognize our path in life. In the last post,&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":437,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[670],"tags":[16,668,584,681,233,235,245,283],"class_list":["post-2256","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-purpose-2","tag-andrew-bowen","tag-destiny","tag-dharma","tag-goals","tag-project-conversion","tag-purpose","tag-religion","tag-spirituality"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Domestic Dharma: How Unchecked Personal Goals Threaten What Really Matters - Project Conversion<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/projectconversion\/2012\/01\/domestic-dharma-how-unchecked-personal-goals-threaten-what-really-matters.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Domestic Dharma: How Unchecked Personal Goals Threaten What Really Matters - Project Conversion\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"We&#8217;ve talked a lot lately about purpose, dharma, and destiny. 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