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<\/a><\/p>\nI did make a deal with them though. Actually, it was more like a bet. The young Elders told me that the only way toward a full understanding of the LDS lifestyle is to sincerely practice the faith. That is, fully believe without any intentions of moving on.<\/p>\n
As if giving up my morning cup of tea wasn’t enough.<\/p>\n
Ouch!<\/p>\n
So, they made this deal: Promise to follow the scripture in Moroni chapter 10: 3-5 which reads,<\/p>\n
3 Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/span>\u00a0the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder<\/span><\/a><\/span> it in your hearts<\/span><\/a><\/span>.<\/p>\n
4 And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask<\/span><\/a><\/span> God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true<\/span><\/a><\/span>; and if ye shall ask with a sincere<\/span><\/a><\/span> heart, with real<\/span><\/a><\/span> intent, having faith<\/span><\/a><\/span> in Christ, he will manifest<\/span><\/a> the truth<\/span><\/a><\/span> of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.<\/p>\n
5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know<\/span><\/a> the truth<\/span><\/a><\/span> of all things.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Those fellas promised me that if I did this that I would understand by the leading of the spirit that the Book of Mormon is true and by implication, that there is no need for any other spiritual guidance in my life. The Elders asked me if I received this confirmation through the Holy Ghost, would I be prepared to give up Project Conversion.<\/p>\n
You could cut the suspense\u00a0with a knife. We stared one another down. The second, newer Elder looked back and forth between us. I think a tumbleweed\u00a0even blew by, uh, inside the church.<\/p>\n
I smiled and said, “And if I do these things whole-heartedly–and I promise I will–and nothing comes to pass, what does it mean for your faith?”<\/p>\n
The more experienced Elder was stumped, but only for a moment. He said,<\/p>\n
“Well, prayer is a two-way conversation. I know this book [Book of Mormon] to be\u00a0true. If you don’t receive a confirmation, somehow the line was interrupted…and Heavenly Father’s line is always in order.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
What a trooper!\u00a0<\/p>\n
So I’ve taken his challenge very seriously; it helps me better understand the faith and its people. But something happened today–this evening as I write this, in fact, that just stopped me cold. I’ve felt overwhelmed for a while. The pressures of doing this day in and day out are exhausting not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well. This was never intended as a personal search for spiritual meaning–and I can’t say that it is now–but, seven tiring months into Project Conversion and I am ready for closure. I am ready for peace. It’s nearly midnight now but my spirit is so shaken that I can’t sleep. Here is the prayer I just made:<\/p>\n