{"id":74,"date":"2011-10-20T18:28:12","date_gmt":"2011-10-20T18:28:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/prayables\/?p=74"},"modified":"2011-10-20T18:28:12","modified_gmt":"2011-10-20T18:28:12","slug":"giving-out-years","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/prayables\/2011\/10\/giving-out-years.html","title":{"rendered":"Giving Out Years"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>On the first day, God created the dog and said:<\/p>\n

“Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.”<\/p>\n

The dog said: “That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?”<\/p>\n

So God agreed.<\/p>\n

On the second day, God created the monkey and said:<\/p>\n

“Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.”<\/p>\n

The monkey said: “Monkey tricks for twenty years? That’s a pretty long time to perform.How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?”<\/p>\n

And God agreed.<\/p>\n

On the third day, God created the cow and said:<\/p>\n

“You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.”<\/p>\n

The cow said: “That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I’ll give back the other forty?”<\/p>\n

And God agreed again.<\/p>\n

On the fourth day, God created man and said:<\/p>\n

“Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you twenty years.”<\/p>\n

But man said: “Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?”<\/p>\n

“Okay,” said God, “You asked for it.”<\/p>\n

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves.<\/p>\n

For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family.<\/p>\n

For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.<\/p>\n

And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

On the first day, God created the dog and said: “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.” The dog said: “That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":463,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[37,23,38,24],"class_list":["post-74","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-christian-joke","tag-clean-joke","tag-jewish-joke","tag-prayer-joke"],"yoast_head":"\nGiving Out Years - Prayables<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/prayables\/2011\/10\/giving-out-years.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Giving Out Years - Prayables\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"On the first day, God created the dog and said: “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. 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