grammagood.com<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n![\"gramma](\"https:\/\/ci3.googleusercontent.com\/proxy\/BZPvDj4-A7nf_vM5Ea6kP9GRYvtdzHSOtksP9atGKVr5b_4kNUXnkV1gpOUwqx99T2i1AIPj9dJiLX0l_Fy6ofl4YYIMFDHuXOf5XIH9m2XMxg=s0-d-e1-ft#grammagood.com\/2014\/01\/noname.jpeg\")
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Today is Spouse’s Day, so I thought it would be fun to introduce my husband Shelly, my best friend, a father and grandfather of a now blended family. We have been married 23 years.<\/p>\n
We were both widowed. In this interview, I will ask him questions about his experience searching for a second wife and his role in our blended family. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nGramma Good:<\/strong>\u00a0How did you decide the qualities you needed in a second wife?<\/p>\nShelly: I made a list of what I needed in a wife! At age 50, after a marriage of 31 years, I found myself in a strange new single\u2019s world. I thought I would be married sooner than later as I had been happily married. It took six years to meet the next Mrs. Good, Gramma Good. I knew the most important decision I would make was my choice of a new wife. I knew I wanted to remarry and share my life. I decided to make a list of what I thought I needed in a wife. Seven qualities, all very logical and attainable and yet it took me six years to find her!<\/p>\n
The List<\/strong><\/p>\n1.\u00a0There had to be a physical and mental attraction.<\/strong>\u00a0That was number one on my list. I needed an attractive woman on my arm and a woman who would provide a loving home and lifestyle.<\/p>\n2.\u00a0I preferred marrying a widow.<\/strong>\u00a0I knew marriage demanded a lot of give and take. Sticking with a partner through ups and downs was very important to me.<\/p>\n3.\u00a0Age difference:<\/strong>\u00a0Not more than 10 years. I wanted to be able to talk to my new wife. A very young woman could not share history or stimulate me mentally.<\/p>\n4.\u00a0An educated woman:<\/strong>\u00a0I liked travel, opera, golf, politics, theatre and someone who could handle herself in my social- business situations.<\/p>\n5.\u00a0I preferred a woman from out of town.<\/strong>\u00a0I didn\u2019t want to know about her relationships.<\/p>\n6.\u00a0I didn\u2019t want to marry a woman with young children.<\/strong>\u00a0The obligations and responsibilities of raising another young family was not attractive to me. I wanted to share the remainder of my life with my wife.<\/p>\n7.\u00a0Her family background played an important part in the formula.<\/strong>\u00a0The further you go from marrying your sister the less chance you have of the marriage working.<\/p>\nSix years later, on a first date, I met Gramma Good and over a very long lunch I told her I was going to marry her!!<\/p>\n
Gramma Good:<\/strong>\u00a0How did you handle the blended family?<\/p>\nShelly:<\/strong>\u00a0Not easily. My two sons considered my new wife an interloper trying to take the place of their mother and worrying about my assets. They wanted it all. My wife\u2019s children felt I was stealing their mother and that I was trying to replace their father. I was a stranger in their lives and they didn\u2019t like it and resented me. After twenty-three years, our children and grandchildren get along very well. I generally feel tolerated. I feel that I try. I don\u2019t know any blended family that really blends. I think ours does better than most. There is no perfection. Look at the problems that go on in families that are first marriages. The most important part in our blended family is that my wife and I found each other. Our strongest asset is our love for each other in spite of our children! We both let our children know that we put one another first.<\/p>\nGramma Good:<\/strong>\u00a0Thank you, Shelly for your time and honesty. This has been my first experience as an interviewer and I am so glad it was with you.<\/p>\nDo something GOOD today\u2026ask a loved one something you’ve always wanted to know!<\/p>\n
![\"gramma](\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/309\/2013\/04\/grandma-good-signature-1-4.png\")
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