{"id":430,"date":"2011-11-03T18:28:02","date_gmt":"2011-11-03T18:28:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/prayables\/?p=430"},"modified":"2011-11-06T18:59:04","modified_gmt":"2011-11-06T18:59:04","slug":"deep-thoughts-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/prayables\/2011\/11\/deep-thoughts-2.html","title":{"rendered":"Deep Thoughts"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>– I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it.<\/p>\n

– I had amnesia once — or twice.<\/p>\n

– I went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart. Now what?<\/p>\n

– Protons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.<\/p>\n

– All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.<\/p>\n

– They told me I was gullible … and I believed them.<\/p>\n

– Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up,
\nhe’ll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.<\/p>\n

– Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.<\/p>\n

– Is there another word for synonym?<\/p>\n

– The speed of time is one second per second.<\/p>\n

– Is it possible to be totally partial?<\/p>\n

– Is Marx’s tomb a communist plot?<\/p>\n

– If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?<\/p>\n

– Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground,
\nand I’ll show you a man who can’t get his pants off.<\/p>\n

-It’s not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.<\/p>\n

– Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?<\/p>\n

– Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.<\/p>\n

– What if there were no hypothetical questions?<\/p>\n

– One nice thing about egotists: They don’t talk about other people.<\/p>\n

– When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.<\/p>\n

– A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.<\/p>\n

– What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?<\/p>\n

– My weight is perfect for my height — which varies.<\/p>\n

– I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.<\/p>\n

– The cost of living hasn’t affected its popularity.<\/p>\n

– How can there be self-help “groups”?<\/p>\n

Humor is holy! – Prayables<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

READ MORE and enjoy these features from the Daily Prayable!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u2192 Daily Story<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2192 Daily Scripture<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2192 Daily Prayer<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2192 Daily Video<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2192 <\/strong>Daily Quote<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

– I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it. – I had amnesia once — or twice. – I went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart. Now what? – Protons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic. – All I ask is a chance…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":463,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[41,55],"tags":[179,23,184,182,59,185,181,183,180],"class_list":["post-430","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-clean-jokes","category-humor","tag-catholic-joke","tag-clean-joke","tag-daily-joke","tag-holy-humor","tag-humor-2","tag-joke-of-the-day","tag-jokes-for-dummies","tag-list-jokes","tag-random-thoughts-joke"],"yoast_head":"\nDeep Thoughts - Prayables<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/prayables\/2011\/11\/deep-thoughts-2.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Deep Thoughts - Prayables\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"– I planted some birdseed. 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