{"id":1311,"date":"2011-11-22T19:06:41","date_gmt":"2011-11-22T19:06:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/prayables\/?p=1311"},"modified":"2011-11-22T22:20:56","modified_gmt":"2011-11-22T22:20:56","slug":"come-home","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/prayables\/2011\/11\/come-home.html","title":{"rendered":"Come Home"},"content":{"rendered":"<h3 style=\"text-align: center\">Daily Joke<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/309\/2011\/10\/dailychuckle.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-60\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/309\/2011\/10\/dailychuckle.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"150\" height=\"89\" \/><\/a>A foreign-born Jewish woman tells a travel agent that she wants to go to India. \u201cI vant to go to India.\u201d<br \/>\n\u201cBut Mrs. Cohen,\u201d says the travel agent, \u201cIndia is so hot, the food is so different, things are so primitive, with your high blood pressure you shouldn\u2019t go. It is overcrowded, it smells, there is the plague, cholera, hepatitis, snakes, beasts of all kinds. You\u2019ll get sick.\u201d<br \/>\n\u201cI vant to go to India.\u201d<br \/>\n\u201cAll right,\u201d says the travel agent, \u201cif you insist.\u201d So he books her for India. She arrives in Bangalore and asks to see the Guru. She enters the ashram and there she is greeted by a huge crowd all come to see the Guru. The Guru has numerous assistants who tell everyone that they\u2019ll have to wait six hours in the heat and that then one must bow from the waist and then say only say three words to the Guru. So she waits, and waits in the heat and the crowd and no kosher food and no Jewish doctors. Finally, it is her turn. She goes into the inner sanctum of the Guru. She doesn\u2019t bow down at all. She stands up straight, looks the Guru in the eye and says these three words: \u201cCome home, Oiving.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff00ff\"><strong>READ MORE and Enjoy these features from the Daily Prayable! <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u2192 <a title=\"Daily Story\" href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/prayables\/2011\/11\/its-ok-to-pray-with-eyes-open.html\" target=\"_blank\">Daily Story<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u2192 <a title=\"Daily Scripture\" href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/prayables\/2011\/11\/psalm-236.html\" target=\"_blank\">Daily Scripture<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u2192 <a title=\"Daily Prayer\" href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/prayables\/2011\/11\/blessing-for-grandmothers.html\" target=\"_blank\">Daily Prayer<br \/>\n<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u2192 <a title=\"Daily Video\" href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/prayables\/2011\/11\/23rd-psalm-jeff-majors-and-don-jones.html\" target=\"_blank\">Daily Video<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u2192 <a title=\"Daily Joke\" href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/prayables\/2011\/11\/come-home.html\" target=\"_blank\">Daily Joke<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u2192 <a title=\"Daily Quote\" href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/prayables\/2011\/11\/choices-we-make.html\" target=\"_blank\">Daily Quote<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Daily Joke A foreign-born Jewish woman tells a travel agent that she wants to go to India. \u201cI vant to go to India.\u201d \u201cBut Mrs. Cohen,\u201d says the travel agent, \u201cIndia is so hot, the food is so different, things are so primitive, with your high blood pressure you shouldn\u2019t go. It is overcrowded, it&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":463,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[41,55,235],"tags":[184,38,754,185,25],"class_list":["post-1311","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-clean-jokes","category-humor","category-religious-jokes","tag-daily-joke","tag-jewish-joke","tag-jewish-mother-joke","tag-joke-of-the-day","tag-religious-joke"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Come Home - Prayables<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/prayables\/2011\/11\/come-home.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Come Home - Prayables\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Daily Joke A foreign-born Jewish woman tells a travel agent that she wants to go to India. \u201cI vant to go to India.\u201d \u201cBut Mrs. Cohen,\u201d says the travel agent, \u201cIndia is so hot, the food is so different, things are so primitive, with your high blood pressure you shouldn\u2019t go. 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It is overcrowded, it&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/prayables\/2011\/11\/come-home.html","og_site_name":"Prayables","article_published_time":"2011-11-22T19:06:41+00:00","article_modified_time":"2011-11-22T22:20:56+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/prayables\/files\/2011\/10\/dailychuckle.jpg"}],"author":"Prayables","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/prayables\/2011\/11\/come-home.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/prayables\/2011\/11\/come-home.html","name":"Come Home - Prayables","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/prayables\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/prayables\/2011\/11\/come-home.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/prayables\/2011\/11\/come-home.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/prayables\/files\/2011\/10\/dailychuckle.jpg","datePublished":"2011-11-22T19:06:41+00:00","dateModified":"2011-11-22T22:20:56+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/prayables\/#\/schema\/person\/ec269252d24ce0bc77635e1f49f53107"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/prayables\/2011\/11\/come-home.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/prayables\/2011\/11\/come-home.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/prayables\/2011\/11\/come-home.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/prayables\/files\/2011\/10\/dailychuckle.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/prayables\/files\/2011\/10\/dailychuckle.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/prayables\/2011\/11\/come-home.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/prayables"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Come Home"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/prayables\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/prayables\/","name":"Prayables","description":"Prayer, Daily Prayer, Simple Prayers, Quick Prayers, Prayer Requests","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/prayables\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/prayables\/#\/schema\/person\/ec269252d24ce0bc77635e1f49f53107","name":"Prayables","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/prayables\/author\/sdiamond"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/prayables\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1311","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/prayables\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/prayables\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/prayables\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/463"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/prayables\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1311"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/prayables\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1311\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1337,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/prayables\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1311\/revisions\/1337"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/prayables\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1311"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/prayables\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1311"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/prayables\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1311"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}