{"id":1104,"date":"2011-11-16T17:12:27","date_gmt":"2011-11-16T17:12:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/prayables\/?p=1104"},"modified":"2011-11-16T17:40:49","modified_gmt":"2011-11-16T17:40:49","slug":"choir-positions-open","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/prayables\/2011\/11\/choir-positions-open.html","title":{"rendered":"Choir Positions Open"},"content":{"rendered":"

Daily Joke<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/a>Found in an actual church bulletin:<\/p>\n

Positions open in soprano, alto, tenor and bass. No others need apply.<\/p>\n

PHYSICAL QUALIFICATIONS: Must be able to carry light musical notes part way across the sanctuary. Must have sufficient vision to see the director.<\/p>\n

EXPERIENCE: No applications will be accepted from persons who have not sung, hummed, or whistled in the bathtub or shower at some time.<\/p>\n

BEGINNING WAGE: Increased satisfaction and joy in the service of God.<\/p>\n

FRINGE BENEFITS: Social Security. We promise you the security of social fellowship with other choir members.<\/p>\n

HOURS: Thursday evenings from 7 to 8 PM & Sunday mornings. There is occasional opportunity for overtime.<\/p>\n

RETIREMENT: Generally determined by the printed notes getting too small, the hymnal too heavy, notes too high, the sanctuary too hot or too cold, or the organist unable to play the notes you sing. We are an equal opportunity employer!<\/p>\n

READ MORE and Enjoy these features from the Daily Prayable! <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u2192 Daily Story<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2192 Daily Scripture<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2192 Daily Prayer
\n<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2192 Daily Video<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2192 Daily Joke<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2192 Daily Quote<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Daily Joke Found in an actual church bulletin: Positions open in soprano, alto, tenor and bass. No others need apply. PHYSICAL QUALIFICATIONS: Must be able to carry light musical notes part way across the sanctuary. Must have sufficient vision to see the director. EXPERIENCE: No applications will be accepted from persons who have not sung,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":463,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[41,55,235],"tags":[643,641,640,642,185],"class_list":["post-1104","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-clean-jokes","category-humor","category-religious-jokes","tag-choir-joke","tag-church-choir-joke-church-joke","tag-daily-jokes","tag-funny-church-joke","tag-joke-of-the-day"],"yoast_head":"\nChoir Positions Open - Prayables<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/prayables\/2011\/11\/choir-positions-open.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Choir Positions Open - Prayables\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Daily Joke Found in an actual church bulletin: Positions open in soprano, alto, tenor and bass. 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